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Relationship Theory
Relationship Theory episodes
- How to Long Distance Date the Right Way | Relationship Theory
Are you about to enter a long-distance relationship or are currently in one and are feeling the draining pressures of being apart? Are you looking for practical help on how to deal with lthedistance in a way that leaves both you and your partner satisfied, week-after-week? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore the difficulties of long-distance dating and why you have to be willing to get into the deep-details of both your needs as well as your partner's. They discuss how to know if they're just not willing to put in the work, how to maintain each other's needs while doing long-distance, ways to establish what's important to each other, and how to lay out the 'non-negotiable' aspects of the relationship.
SHOW NOTES:
Long Distance | Lisa and Tom address a sticky long distance relationship. [1:29]
Make It Work | Lisa and Tom discuss the best ways to work through long distance. [1:57]
Importance | Lisa shares how she approached communication with Tom when apart. [4:23]
Non-Negotiable | Lisa shares the importance of knowing each other's expectations. [7:18]
QUOTES:
"You may have to accept that he's just not that into you and that that's why he's saying, "Oh, I don't think my lifestyle will be good," because he just isn't in it enough for him to suffer through the things that he would have to suffer through for it to work." [1:34]
"…you just start laying it all out so that you know exactly what's a win for the other person—you know what's needed from an emotional standpoint. It's all hammered out." [3:15]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0
9 min - Why You Should Never Feel Shame Over Not Having Kids | Relationship Theory
The decision to have children or not is one of the most impactful choices you can make in your life. Whether you decide to go down the traditional route and start a family, or instead to focus on your ambitions and other goals, there is some level of regret that will come into play. After all, whether you have children or not, there is some scarifies that you will have to make. On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore how to deal with the regret you may feel from not having children. They discuss the sacrifices you have to make whether you have kids or not, the obligations you have to tend to when having children, what the worst case scenarios are in either decision, and the other connections in your life that can fill the void of not having kids.
SHOW NOTES:
Regret | Lisa and Tom discuss the potential regret over not having children. [0:43]
Obligations | Lisa and Tom discuss the needs and attention children require. [4:25]
Worst Case | Lisa and Tom discuss the reality of not having children. [6:38]
Connections | Lisa and Tom discuss the other people in their life that meet their needs. [9:20]
QUOTES:
"You walk into a room, there are 1,000 open doors. You have to close all of them but one in order to move forward." [0:43]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0
11 min - Don't Let Them Determine Your Worth and Self-Esteem | Relationship Theory
Living with insecurity, a lack of confidence, and a constant need of approval from your partner or others is never a healthy way to build a long-lasting and stable relationship. On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore why it's crucial that the only person you rely on for validation, approval, and self-confidence is yourself. They discuss why you shouldn't rely on others for validation, reasons you might be relying on others in the first place, and why feeling safe with your partner is crucial.
SHOW NOTES:
Validation | Lisa and Tom discuss why you need to find your own self-validation. [0:29]
Reasons | Tom shares theories to why you might seek validation from you partner. [3:17]
Feeling Safe | Tom and Lisa discuss the importance of feeling safe with your partner. [6:09]
QUOTES:
"…you need to find validation in yourself and not seek it from other people." [3:10]
"In a relationship, I believe one of the most important foundational elements is to make the other person feel better about themselves when they're around you than they do when they're not." [5:05]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0
10 min - Steps You Should Take to Deal With Disrespectful In-Laws | Relationship Theory
In-laws can be one of the most difficult factors about your relationship or marriage. They can be overbearing, intrusive, and outright disrespectful and unsupportive of you. What do you do when these moments of disrespect happen and how can you refrain from escalating the situation while still supporting your partner? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Lisa and Tom Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore the best ways to handle your disrespectful in-laws who just aren't showing support for your relationship. They discuss how to stay supportive of your partner and not direct your anger at them, ways to spend time with your in-laws without escalating the situation, why you shouldn't dramatically change for your in-law's sake, and why other's behavior shouldn't determine yours.
SHOW NOTES:
In-Laws | Lisa and Tom discuss what to do when your in-laws aren't supporting you. [0:40]
Staying Yourself | Lisa shares her experience with her family when marrying Tom. [4:20]
Advice | Lisa shares what to do to work through a situation with difficult in-laws. [7:29]
Behavior | Tom discusses why you shouldn't let predictable behavior upset you. [11:05]
Reality | Tom and Lisa discuss the real world situation of being in escalating situations. [12:01]
QUOTES:
"…you have to be united. You cannot have other people's, outsider's, or your partner's parent's influence the affection and the relationship between the two of you." [7:52]
"Behavior that's predictable should not upset you." [11:43]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0
18 min - What to Focus on When Going Through a Breakup | Relationship Theory
Breaks, breakups, and taking time apart. Are you wondering if you should get back together and fight for the relationship or instead work on yourself? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Tom and Lisa Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore what to focus on when taking a break in your relationship.They discuss the importance of taking time to work on yourself, how absence can twist your mind into falsely missing things about your partner, and why you should take time to properly reflect on your relationship.
SHOW NOTES:
Work On Yourself | Tom shares the power of setting aside time for yourself during a break. [0:24]
Absence | Lisa shares how absence from your partner can misconstrue your perspective. [2:49]
Reflect | Lisa reveals the power of truly taking time to deeply reflect on your relationship. [4:56]
QUOTES:
"I think when people are in a relationship that is volatile like that, they're clinging onto something that isn't actually real." [2:13]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0
6 min - How to Pursue Your Career Goals While in a Relationship | Relationship Theory
Entrepreneurship, hustling for your goals, and love. How can we balance all three without sacrificing one for another? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Tom and Lisa Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore how to pursue your dreams while balancing a relationship. They discuss why you need to prioritize, the importance of setting ground rules, and why being yourself from the beginning is crucial.
SHOW NOTES:
Entrepreneurship | Tom shares how he would prioritize business with a relationship. [0:24]
Ground Rules | Lisa shares the importance of letting your partner know where you stand. [2:41]
Be Yourself | Tom and Lisa share the importance of being 100% yourself from the get-go. [5:25]
QUOTES:
"There is no 'should,' but you need to be very clear about what you want, construct your life around that to make sure that it's taking you to where you want to go." [2:34]
"…if it's a new relationship, I think you're in a perfect place to put those demands, rules, expectations in place from the get-go." [4:43]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0
8 min - Why You Need to Focus on Your Relationship and Not on Your Insecurities | Relationship Theory
Have you been comparing yourself to your partner's exes? Are you finding yourself dealing with insecurity and lack of self-esteem and don't know how to overcome them? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Tom and Lisa Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore what to do when you're comparing yourself to your partner's exes. They discuss how insecurity may be the root cause of the problem, what really matters in your relationship, how to avoid jealousy, and the importance of fully understanding your emotions.
SHOW NOTES:
Comparing | Lisa and Tom discuss constantly comparing yourself to your partner's ex. [0:17]
Insecurity | Tom discusses why you shouldn't give in to your insecurities. [2:21]
What Matters | Tom shares the only thing that should matter in any relationship. [3:21]
I Wonder Why? | Lisa shares the importance of knowing your feelings. [7:00]
QUOTES:
"What moves you towards your goal? And if your goal is to have a thriving relationship, then comparing yourself endlessly to the exes is not a good look." [2:10]
"The only thing that lasts in a relationship is, "How do you make me feel about myself when I'm with you?" Do I feel better about myself when I'm with you?…" [3:21]
"Jealousy doesn't serve me. Jealousy doesn't serve our relationship. It's never going to bring us closer." [9:37]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0
12 min - How to Shake Off Your Insecurities and Walk With Confidence | Relationship Theory
Do you struggle with low confidence when talking to a potential love interest? Do you find yourself wallowing in your insecurities, telling yourself that you're not good enough for them? Well, now is the time to stop. You need to suck it up, own your insecurities, and shift you focus towards positivity and confidence so that you can develop a happy and healthy relationship. On this episode of Relationship Theory, Tom and Lisa Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore the importance of confidence in any relationship and how you can move away from a place of insecurity and towards a place of positivity. They discuss how to talk to women when lacking confidence, ways to develop confidence, how all of us have insecurities and ways to overcome them, why you shouldn't obsess over your insecurities, and how to shift your focus onto productive and positive thoughts.
SHOW NOTES:
Talking | Tom and Lisa discuss the best skills needed when talking to a future partner. [0:13]
Confidence | Tom and Lisa reveal the importance of confidence when talking to women. [1:55]
Insecurities | Tom and Lisa discuss insecurities and why you shouldn't obsess over them. [4:02]
Fine Lines | Tom shares the differences between owning and obsessing over insecurities. [5:55]
Emotions | Lisa shares a story of when emotions began taking hold of her insecurities. [10:31]
Focus | Tom discusses the importance of shifting your focus towards positive thoughts. [12:46]
QUOTES:
"It is okay, be insecure about that thing. Don't wallow in it and take action about it." [7:14]
"Absolutely no good behavior comes from obsessively thinking about something that you're insecure about it. So do something to address or move on." [10:23]
"Don't approach things to want to get the compliment by putting yourself down." [12:04]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0
15 min - Why You Shouldn't Give a Sh*t About Gender Roles and Expectations with Chores | Relationship Theory
Chores, responsibilities around the house, and gender roles. Combine them all and you'll have a delicate subject that can make for a very difficult conversation to have with your partner. Yet, we must ask ourselves, "How much should gender norms really play in a relationship, who should be doing what around the house, and how can we begin acting out of love?" On this episode of Relationship Theory, Tom and Lisa Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore expectations surrounding traditional gender roles and how to effectively determine who should be doing what around the house when it comes to chores and responsibilities. They discuss the importance of knowing what your values are in a relationship, the power of writing down expectations and needs, why you should do tasks out of love and not out of responsibility, why you should stay authentically yourself and not bend to fit gender roles, and why hiring help around the house is absolutely okay.
SHOW NOTES:
Gender Norms | Lisa and Tom open today's episode about traditional gender roles. [0:20]
Values | Lisa and Tom share their differences between what they value regarding chores. [1:08]
Responsibility | Tom and Lisa discuss the importance of contributing no matter what. [3:13]
Agreeing | Tom and Lisa discuss the importance of agreeing on the same values. [3:38]
Discuss | Lisa and Tom share why you have to discuss the expectations for chores. [5:25]
Because of Love | Tom and Lisa reveal why you should do chores simply out of love. [6:04]
Be You | Tom and Lisa discuss why you should aggressively be your authentic self. [9:50]
Time vs Intensity | Lisa and Tom discuss individual expectations in a relationship. [11:04]
Help | Lisa and Tom discuss a simple approach to paying for help around the house. [12:45]
QUOTES:
"Don't make the mistake of thinking that because you make more money that means you have less responsibilities." [3:13]
"Be aggressively who you are." [9:50]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0
14 min - Crucial Questions to Ask That Will Align You and Your Partner's Values | Relationship Theory
Are you and your partner on the same page when it comes to values in your relationship? Do you wonder how you can be more aligned and have a shared 'mission' for your life together? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Tom and Lisa Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore ways you and your partner can get on the same page and have a full understanding of your relationships values and goals. They discuss how to lead by example in a relationship, the power of sharing your values with your partner, why you should write down the reasoning behind your values, and why you need to be aligned with your partner when it comes to values in the first place.
SHOW NOTES:
Leading | Lisa and Tom share how to get your partner to also lead with a growth mindset. [0:21]
Values | Lisa and Tom discuss the importance of being on the same page as your partner. [2:45]
Reasons | Lisa and Tom discuss the power of writing down your values in a relationship. [4:30]
Aligning | Lisa and Tom share how they would align their values to be on the same page. [5:48]
QUOTES:
"We're not on the same page, but we're committed to getting on the same page, but we're going to be really raw, honest, and truthful about how far apart we are right now. Not lie or bullshit, what's the actual bit of common ground?" [2:17]
"I think so many people take things for granted. They think that it's just truth…" [3:12]
FOLLOW TOM:
Instagram: http://bit.ly/2s9lU90
YouTube: http://bit.ly/2KWanAC
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2xEloFL
FOLLOW LISA:
Instagram: https://bit.ly/2TIsoKh
YouTube: https://bit.ly/2IAbTcH
Podcast: https://spoti.fi/2IEajGW0
8 min
About Relationship Theory
From the publisher's feed
Join power couple Tom and Lisa Bilyeu as they answer your relationship questions and share how they've created a successful marriage for nearly 20 years. No holds barred. No B.S.