RelationshipAlkemy

Especially in America, women are expected to have a strong masculine side: they’re expected to be high achievers, have a successful career, and be perfect parents, all while looking like fashion models and having out of this world pleasure in their sex life!

But pleasure and intimacy can become elusive. There’s no action plan to figure out how to surrender into the Feminine. It’s quite the opposite.

Tune in to this episode where Jordan shares her journey with orgasms and childbirth, and how she learned how to surrender into the Feminine.

Often when people want to place a boundary, they become rigid, forceful or detached. In other words, they withdraw their love. It sends out this message: “if you don’t behave the way I want you to behave, I don’t love you anymore.” That is not compassionate, it’s manipulative.

There is a way to share your truth and protect your needs without force or withdrawing your love. While still loving the other unconditionally, you can place firm boundaries on behaviors that don’t work for you.

Follow our 7 step formula to express your boundaries firmly, without rejecting the other.

Our free handout is available for download here as you listen in: https://relationshipalkemy.com/free-downloads/

Nobody likes to be triggered. Most people run away from them, or blame others for their triggers.

Yet, there’s a deeper truth about our triggers. You can get triggered at work, in your intimate relationship, or with family members.

When you feel triggered, do you feel disconnected, hopeless, angry or resentful?

There is an alternative. Triggers can be a chance to learn about ourselves and each other, lean in, and feel more connected!

In this episode, discover a simple method that you can learn to do just that.

Our free handout is available for download here as you listen in: https://relationshipalkemy.com/free-downloads/

Can Trauma Healing save your relationship? We think so!

When we fall in love, it’s easy to appreciate everything about our special person. But soon enough, the inevitable differences arise, we poke at each other's trauma, and we get triggered.

A couple came to therapy recently wanting to improve their communication skills. We soon realized that even though they were triggering each others, it was not really about the other person. 90% of their triggers were about past trauma.

Definition of Trauma or Shadow: “A belief system that arises from an early core wound, that I still use to cope with the world.”

1. A belief system: “People are trying to take advantage of me. Life is fragile. I don’t deserve to be loved. Everybody ends up leaving me. People don’t change.”

2. An early core wound (aka trauma): A trauma can be a single, clearly defined event. Like being raped or emotionally overpowered. Or it could spread over the span of many years. My grandmother never brutalized me. But her incessant judgments over 15 years left me scared.

3. Coping with the world: This belief system has helped you cope with a difficult situation that happened when you were young and vulnerable. When similar situations present themselves into adult life, you still unconsciously use the same outdated strategies that you developed as a child.

In this episode, you'll learn about:

1. The 2 types of trauma.
2. The therapy modalities that woks and those that don't.
3. How to dissolve Trauma and your negative beliefs.

Recommended book: No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model, by Richard Schwartz Ph.D.

Why is sexual intimacy sometimes so elusive? Television and social media show women how to look sexy and men how to appear successful. But when they meet in the bedroom, the feeling of intimacy and soul-nurturing connection can be elusive. What is the disconnect? And what can we do to reconnect?

Sequoia Stafford is a sex and tantra educator, coach and therapist. She is the embodiment of a women over 50 with a thriving sexual drive.

She’s on a mission to take the pain and suffering out of love and sex. She’s the bestselling author of It’s Hard!: Sexual Satisfaction Secrets to Beat ED and I'm Not Jealous: The Ethical Non-Monogamist's Guide to Free Love Relationships Without Suffering. In her Santa Cruz, CA temple, she guides couples to find reverence in moments of intimacy and challenges them in order to open doors for sacred partnerships. 

Sequoia is a master healer with over 20 years of experience training coaches and individuals to reconnect with their bodies, relationships, and sexualities. A lifetime of study has allowed her to weave together the best bits from a huge range of modalities and practices, including Neuroscience, Tantra, Shamanism, and Evolutionary Psychology.

Get her books for free at https://www.freelovemodel.com as well as her Top 12 Tips for Women Who WANT To Have Sex Again!

7 Healthy Habits for Better Intimacy

How can you complain and authentically express your emotions and your truth, without creating disconnection, abandonment or defensiveness?

In this episode, we explore 5 formulas you can use right away to improve your communication and create connection, even through difficult conversations.

Our free handout is available for download here as you listen in: https://relationshipalkemy.com/free-downloads/

What is empathy? What is it not?

Empathy is the way we can feel connected, heard, seen, understood, valued, and accepted for who we are. But Empathy can be counter-intuitive…

Our mirror neurons are our superpower for empathy. Yet they can also betray us! We feel uncomfortable when we feel what others are feeling. Most people will try to repress those feelings, or to change how the other is feeling, in order to feel better. 

A common confusion generated by the English language is our use of the word “feel” without actually expressing a feeling. And the word “need” without actually expressing a need. 

Learn in this episode how society has prevented us from learning how to express Empathy in a satisfying way, and how you can learn this the right way.

Listen in to discover the secret, powerful formula to authentic empathy.

Our free handout is available for download as you listen in: https://relationshipalkemy.com/free-downloads/

Book mentioned: The Art of Empathy by Karla McLaren

How would you like to feel connected, heard, seen, understood, valued, accepted for who you are?

But, when we don’t use Conscious Communication, chances are we’re going to push away the very connection we crave. It’s not enough to have the best of intentions, it needs to translate into the right words. When people perceive judgements, they often only see two options: either submit or rebel. This maintains a cycle of power struggles.

The purpose of Conscious Communication is to express yourself in the most direct, authentic, and accurate way in order to be heard clearly and understood quickly. It’s an invitation for the other to meet your needs willingly, not from pressure or guilt. Everybody wins!

But it can be very counter intuitive. Conscious Communication can be very hard to learn and to apply to real life situations. It’s truly like learning a new language. The confusing part is that we use English words, but in a very different way. It demands a true paradigm shift, and the learning curve can be hard and frustrating.

In this enlightening episode, you will learn the #1 secret to bring connection sustainably into the relationships that matter the most to you.

Our free handout is available for download here as you listen in: https://relationshipalkemy.com/free-downloads/

You’re on your way to your intimacy paradise. This Island is filled with an abundance of love, warm, everything you could ever want! Let’s unload the cargo and get settled in.

How is this exciting new place going to keep from becoming like the old place? What did you bring to your new partnership? 

Join us in this episode as we identify the stowaway that is fatal to your loving comforts. We talk about understanding and unlearning embedded habits to prevent sabotaging the happiness in connections.

Our free handout is available for download here as you listen in: https://relationshipalkemy.com/free-downloads/