Do you know how to have a relationship that isn't a power struggle? Most of us don’t. Looking back at the past is a great opportunity to see how you have shown up in your relationships. I have, and it is easy to see where it all had to be MY WAY. I didn't think so at the time, but in being so busy people pleasing and being perfect, I had no idea I was trying to manipulate to get my way! I also didn’t think I had expectation; I was just doing what I thought was right. Expectations meant disappointment, but I had no idea how limiting that was for me. Expectations are limiting to all of us and they’re based on old beliefs. Not even our own beliefs... more often the beliefs of others.

Were your parents or other adult figures always in a power struggle? Are you in one with yourself? They litter the landscape of our lives. You want things outside to match the fear that if life doesn’t deliver, perhaps you have no value or you are no good (or whatever it is for you).

Stop and look at your past disappointments. What were your expectations? What was it you were trying to get? And frankly is it so horrible that those disappointments happened? Was there anything you learned from them? If you can see your part of the struggle—you can see how you helped create your problems.