Relax with Meditation

 You wake up in the morning and think about your work or study. You switch on your TV, prepare your breakfast, hear and see TV simultaneously… Try one new thing that will make a huge difference in your life…. Switch off the TV…Now you can focus to make your breakfast, hear the cutting noise of your knife and even taste the food with full awareness.And you have time to talk a little bit to your partner and to see him/her in their eyes. What for a huge difference instead to use the TV as a distraction. Maybe you feel love for your partner… Your noisy life becomes more remote.  Without the TV you maybe miss the distraction or you maybe encounter some emptiness or void feeling.Never the less life becomes more vivid and you slow down.  Next step, get rid of your TV… And then there is more time for love, for the children and to relax without distraction. It is proved that families without TV are living happier. Why don’t you want that too? My Video: How to change easily with less? https://youtu.be/ddb8qaYE0lkMy Audio: https://divinesuccess.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/Podcast.B/How-to-change-easily-with-less.mp3

Do these exercises, start with exercise 1 and then at the end with exercise 4 First exercise: to relax the lower back, hips… Lay down on the back, lift up the thighs vertically to 90 degrees and the lower legs again 90 degrees, and put under the lower legs a support, like a chair, bench, bed… And relax. Do this for 5 to 10 minutes. Second exercise: Yoga Cat-cow stretchImagine a cat or dog and…Kneel with your knees on the ground and put your hand palms with straight arms on the ground… so that you look like a cat…Then you breathe slowly, deeply in, and while doing so you bend the back a little bit down and the head up. When you breathe out you press the back up like doing a cat hump and the head you bend to your breast.This you do for 5 minutes very slowly… The back will relax… 3 Exercise: Rotating your hips and thighs while lying down on your back.You lay down on your back, lift your thighs vertical upward, and lower legs touching your thighs. And then you rotate your thighs in big and small circuits and with this, your pelvis is rotating too. That will relax again your back and pelvis. We want also to stretch. We bend the thighs to the left and right side so that your thighs are touching the ground and have a 90-degree angle to your body.  4. Exercise: Do a half-somersault. You lay down on your back lift up your thighs vertically, let your lower legs touch your thighs, and press with your arms your thighs slowly down so that your knees touch your shoulders… Remain in this position while breathing slowly in and out for some time. Then you bend your back, release your arms, put the arms backward, and press with your straight arms on the ground so that you can touch with your knees the ground behind your shoulders… Then you swing your body backward so that your body is in a sitting position. Do that half somersault again and again as I have described before.  My Video: Best exercises for back pain https://youtu.be/7QDL1igKDuk My Audio: https://divinesuccess.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/Podcast2/Best-exercises-for-back-pain.mp3  

  In Animals, we find the solution for our anger. The animals are getting angry to protect themselves…  We all know the freeze and fly reflex from the animals to escape from that dangerous situation and that means fear.  If our mind/ego experiences a dangerous situation we can try to escape, cry or to defense us with anger. What is the best? For the psychologists is anger the best. Because we remain in control of the situation and can find a solution. We need anger to change a situation! How can we change a devastating situation when we are not motivated or when we are depressed?  With Anger, we can transform a devastating situation because we have the power. When we are happy or angry we can take much more risk to get what we want. Instead to wait to get the things done.  I use my anger for things, that I have to do and have been too lazy. For instance, I make the garden. What should we do when we are angry? 1.) We should be aware why we are angry and most of the time we even don’t know it… Because we have gathered inside of us frustration from many different situations and then we burst into anger. Or memories of our childhood or past facing and trigger our anger. What was actually the reason for our anger? If we don’t know it, then who cares?  2.) When we are overwhelmed by our anger, we need to make body exercise to get our anger under control… And to do somebody exercise is good. Even under anger, we can make our best sports achievements. And that should be good, or! 3.) We breathe for some time deep in our anger to get more calmness and to identify our anger. Maybe we have understood each other wrong as usual. Or maybe the other person has a different agenda.  4.) When we are in an angry dispute we look in the eyes of our offender and if it is possible we get in touch with that person,-  held their hands. Anger disappears. Because we feel compassion for our victim. My Video: The Secret to Using Anger in a Positive Way https://youtu.be/U4dKa4tCJQIMy Audio: https://divinesuccess.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/Podcast.B/The-Secret-to-Using-Anger-in-a-Positive-Way.mp3

  We all have done many mistakes and I hope we have learned from them. If we would start fresh with our lives what should we do? 1.) When we start to work or do anything.- Be humble and work your way up, instead to wait for your great chance. Maybe your great chance will never come … In the meantime, you could get experience, connection in the area where you like to be. 2.) Be flexible and adjust to that situation. We have to deal always with bad people, critical situations…. When we complain or want to change our environment for a better situation or better people we can’t. We are always at the right place at the right time, to learn the right things.Think this over! The grass is not greener in the neighbor garden. Try to accept the situation and do your best! 3.) Adapt to a healthy lifestyle. Health is our greatest asset. I have learned that quite early when I was so ill with 21… Today I am living total healthy and are total fit with 60 years old. Try to compete with me!!! 4.) Try to challenge your mind every day. Don’t be lazy learn every day. First, it is fun second, it keeps us mentally healthy. When I made my Yacht license with 55, the examiner said, now starts the journey of learning… And she was right. 5.) Chose to be happy with the things that you already have. Otherwise, you will be never happy. And be thankful for everything. 6.) Learn to save money, instead to be indulged in overspending. Life will be much easier. 7.) Learn to serve and please the people. Ego trips will never pay out! Try to entertain all kind of people. If you do so your life will be much easier! 8.) We all fail. So more we fail so better we get. Don’t give up. A failure is a person who gives up and is afraid of failing. Learn to fail without to punish yourself or other people. Learn to enjoy your failing, Life will be wonderful.  9.) Try to improve your habits every day and learn good habits. And make this your whole life… If you do the wrong, then just adjust to the right. We can not be right all the time! We will never be perfect. We focus to do better every day and that is enough. Don’t punish yourself for your mistakes!! Next time you do better!  My Video: How to start a good life?  https://youtu.be/BUTk5JF9XL4My Audio: https://divinesuccess.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/Podcast.B/How-to-start-a-good-life.mp3

The problem is if we believe that stress can harm us and can kill us it will do so. And if we believe stress will not harm us and will not kill us, stress will not be so dangerous and harmful, just a little bit. The anxiety that stress is harmful is the worst!  This is proved in a study of 30000 people…Those who believed that stress will kill them were  43% correct! And people who didn’t believe on the harmfulness of stress, even when living a very stressful life survived! Stress is not always our enemy or a risk factor for all kinds of diseases. What doesn't kill us makes us hard!  Stress is a paradox, is not what we choose… How can we change our mind to deal better with stress?Instead to have fear of stress? – That is a negative, unproductive mindset.   Stress makes you braver, and more resilient, … The concept of good and bad stress doesn’t work.Because we can’t choose our stress or how stressful our life, the world, our kid is…   If we label our stress to be negative and so will be our outcome! Think over, what is positive about stress? It is exciting because we don’t know the outcome.We feel more vivid and alive. We should learn new stress responses that fit us better than our previous stress responses. We think, life can be difficult and that is OK. We watch our stress response and we look:  How can we improve to act, feel, and think better when we are in a stressful situation? If we are in a stressful moment, we can introduce new ways like: Can we slow down? Can we do our workout? Or endurance training. Or interval training.Or Weight lifting.Or Dancing.Or Boxing. 1. Can we do that 4 minutes method to reset stress from W. Hof? Read my previous blog: How to reset stress in 4 minutes?With the Wim Hof method. 2. Breath deep in and out slowly and focus on your navel chakra. 3. To bring our hands in the prayer position. Both hand palms should have full contact with every part of the opposite hand and keep that position for at least 10 minutes. Read my blog: How to dissolve anxiety with Yoga?  4. Deborah Patel, a former Broadway star, today speaker coach, taught us this technique to calm down before going on the stage, and we can even do this exercise on a toilet. Simply imagine that you are freaking out and then jump/step on the ground like crazy with your feet, box/ beat with your fist in all directions, and make animal sounds with your mouth, let your tongue hang out, and make it as mad as possible. If you can't express your voice, remain mute and still express your feelings...  Ignoring everything else and just focusing and acting only on the solution for the stressful situation would be the best.   So the more we focus on a negative outcome of that situation, for instance, I am overwhelmed, stressed out… so worse the situation is going.  If we are afraid of losing… We do make a list of what we can lose, what is our worst outcome, and then we prioritize the worst-case scenario… then the Anxiety is done. Can we ask for help? If we feel lonely or depressed as we fight against our friends, colleagues…Then just connect with them with things that we have in common with them. Reach out to your enemies, and friends and speak about your problems. …  My Video: Think about stress as your friend. https://youtu.be/tt5mGksYYCsMy Audio: https://divinesuccess.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/Podcast2/Think-about-stress-as-your-friend.mp3

  Don’t be a people pleaser because of your low self-esteem or lack of confidence. In the end, you harm yourself and the others and can’t live a fulfilled life. Because the people pleaser becomes over time more and more unsatisfied and frustrated and much later cannot fulfill the desires of others. He ends up with an unhealthy lifestyle and drugs. In our Childhood, we have learned to please our parents.We learned to say “Yes” to help other people, to step back from our desires… And that was right for our childhood because as a kid we have enough time. The results are, that we are anxious to be ourselves and don’t demand what we really want.  Today we have not the time to help everybody and we need also that our kids are doing what we want.  What is for saying “No”? Warren Buffet said: The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say “No” to almost everything.”  We should learn to say “Yes” only when it is necessary. Don’t waste your time on minor problems.  For Oprah Winfrey was one of the most important lessons in her life to say “No”. She learned it on the hard way when she was struggling to say “No”. “I finally got to this question: What do I want?” If we are overloaded with too many jobs, we have to decide what we want and to use our time efficiently.  How can we learn to say “No” even it feels better to say “Yes”?  We start to say “No” to not so important things. We learn in baby steps to say “No” to everything that is not necessary for our life. When or how to say “No”? 1.) When you feel obligated to help. Ask yourself, Why should I help? Are you afraid of a negative feedback if you put yourself at first? If we have the time, I think we should help. Why not? If we are forced to help instead to decide freely, and if there is not a must, Say always “No”.  Because the people learn so that blackmailing or giving you are bad consciousness is not working for you.  2.) Resist the fear of missing out. That is similar to any obligation to help because we are afraid of negative consequences. Ask yourself, do I miss out on my life if I can use my time for myself, instead to help? If helping makes you happier, then help!If you afraid of negative consequences when you don’t help, try out not to help.   3.) When you immediately should help without looking what else you want to do. Wait, look what you had planned previously and then decide. Often, I have agreed with too many things and forgot my own agenda. 4.) Learn to say “No”, in a confident and kindly way, without hurting anybody… Give a clear, brief description, why you can’t help. Don’t lie! 5.) Be open for a “No” or a “Yes”. Say, I don’t know if I have the time to help, we will see later. You remain kind and don’t put yourself under pressure. My Video: Learn to say “NO” https://youtu.be/Nn4stFpVCmUMy Audio: https://divinesuccess.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/Podcast.B/Learn-to-say-NO.mp3

  If we can’t communicate openly about something we want we can’t get it! Zava (on-line medical service) has done a survive about sex with more than 1000 couples across the USA and Europe. The results are:  1.)Talking about sex leads to a better sex life! 2.) 54% improvements in sexual satisfaction once the communication has started regardless if the couple has been on a high level or low level of sexual satisfaction. It is proved since over 50 years when the sex or communication is down the relationship is also down. We need a good communication about our problems and we need also good sex. Both are equal. Why we can’t communicate about our sexual desires in front of our spouse? Zava survey found out: 1.)We are scared to hurt our partner when we talk about our sexual desires. 2.)We are embarrassed to communicate about sex with our partner. When we are scared to communicate about our problems with our partner, in any case, we hurt our relationship. We need trust for a good relationship and if we can’t speak about our feelings or sex we have a B.S. relationship.  Imagine, You have sex with your wife and your wife pretends always an orgasm, and didn’t have an orgasm with you. Even worse she used to have a great sex-life with her previous partner… How would you feel, if she would stop to have sex with you after some years?Do you think that both of you have missed out a great chance to bond together with a great sex life?  Is not communication about sex necessary at least for the females? What is if your partner loves different sex position and never communicate about that?  For instance, I came across that females in Latin America don’t like the missionary position because they are afraid to face God when they have sex! Even they like to have sex in the standing position. For me, this was totally weird.  What is if our partner loves to break taboos in sex and we don’t know it? We never can satisfy our loved one.  What about looking porno? There is a drastic difference between male and female.The top three categories women view are Lesbian, Gay (male) and Teen Porn.For men are: Teen, MILF, and Mature Porn. We have to make sure that both of us enjoying their sex-life even we have to break our taboos in sex.  How to communicate about sex? 1.)Let your partner know when he/she did it well for you. 2.)Write a note what you love about sex instead to speak it out. 3.)Check out some sex books and read it together as inspiration. 4.) Get visual and see a porno together. 5.) Go slowly in the direction you want with your sex and communicate about that.  My Video: How to get your sex-life as you want it? https://youtu.be/6d8pwSIZ_goMy Audio: https://divinesuccess.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/Podcast.B/How-to-get-your-sex-life-as-you-want-it.mp3

  If I know deep inside that I can do it, without that I can logically prove it … I believe. And that might be for other people fanaticism. So deeper my belief for a positive outcome so better. What is if I believe the doctor is right that I have for instance terminal cancer? Then this belief will kill me.  For instance, the doctors found out that the father in law from Antonie Robbins had a terminal brain tumor and would die soon. A. Robbins forbade the doctors to tell his father in law anything about his tumor. And so his father in law lived happily for years… After some years, a doctor told his father in law, he has a terminal brain tumor, the father in law died within 14 days.  In this case, the father had the fanaticism to believe in the doctors and so he died.  I had at least 6 times incurable diseases,- cured them all by myself. I was two times killed by doctors (clinical dad)…  If I believe that every disease can be cured with the help of God, regardless what any stupid doctor is telling me, the disease can be healed.  We need a good concept (how to cure our disease) in that we believe and with the faith in God we can cure every disease.  A belief is always positive and a fanaticism is always negative.  We need to believe in God and without demanding anything. So that God can choose (he will do it in any case). If we fanatic believe in God/Allah and sacrifice our life for the sake of a Religion leader we harm us, the believer in God, the society, and our family.   This never will work out. Fanaticism has always a negative outcome! What is if we believe in God; - that God knows it better for us and should decide for us. Through this belief in God, we get peace in our mind and don’t demand things we could not get, even we have done everything.  Because we can’t calculate any outcome. We depend on so many things, that we even can fail in any way. Still, we are thankful for any outcome. Because everything is in the hands of God. And God knows it better. Through that, we gain trust and faith in God and can live a positive life.  Even more, after some time we experience miracles because of our faith in God. And that discriminates a God believer from the rest of the world. Deep Faith in God is priceless and I think there exists nothing better.  Fanaticism has never a positive outcome. And still, everybody has such fanaticism inside of us, that harms us.   Discover your negative beliefs or fanaticism that are inside of you. My Video: Is Belief = Fanaticism? https://youtu.be/ji_C9AiXttg My Audio: https://divinesuccess.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/Podcast.B/Is-Belief-Fanaticism.mp3

  At the beginning of the relationship, we like to be our best, give our best to our darling… Because we love. Love makes us blind… Later we are looking, what we get out of this relationship and don’t like to invest anymore so much in our relationship… Because the love is over! And then we like to adjust to the circumstances, and ignore the problems in the relationship… So we go along with that .., no problem, we are tolerating the problems, put a blind eye on them… Instead of transforming or solving the problems…Because it is too much for us…  If you maintain your car, you have to change the engine oil,… then you have fewer problems with the car… If you don’t do so, it will hit you much harder, the engine is broken,… So we have constantly to invest in our car so we have to do it with our relationships… Instead, to wait until it is too late.  Whatever you are tolerating in the relationship, you make it okay and the relationship is getting worse. Stop to invest in the relationship and to ignore the negative signals …Day by day the relationship is going worse by tolerating the problems…  After some time, even the best relationship is broken. If we watch our problems in the relationship and are not dealing with them, again the relationship is over.  It is not enough, if only one person is investing in that relationship and hoping it will get better after some time. Or we try to manipulate our behavior with our partner… We have to speak out about our problems with our partner, otherwise, the relationship is over… The next strategy is to try our best to please our partner, to make our partner happy…  This will not work out either, because we can’t do so…It is not our job to make our partner happy! We should try to be authentic and accept fully our partner.If we can’t accept our partner, or our partner can’t accept us, we can’t build in any case a healthy relationship. This means also, it is okay if our partner is angry or even angry with us… We are 100% responsible for our emotions and we can’t blemish that our partner has made us angry!  If we are together and not trying to manipulate our partner but to accept our partner, communicate about our problems and solve in a healthy way our problems, then we are in a healthy relationship. That gives us the freedom to be authentic and to be in contact with our partner.  My Video: How to build a healthy relationship? https://youtu.be/m72CIaxlE3EMy Audio: https://divinesuccess.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/Podcast2/How-to-build-a-healthy-relationship.mp3

 The self-help gurus are saying we need 21 days or 30 days to form up a new habit. And that is wrong. There exist no magic number of repetition of a new habit or how long we need to build up a new habit. The University of London published that we need between 18 and 254 days or in average 76 days to change or form a habit. It is much easier to change a habit than to break a habit.  We should understand the process between to form a new habit and to get rid of an old habit.  It is easier to start doing something new than to stop doing something without any replacement.  For instance, if we want to stop smoking. We should replace the smoking with something better.  We are addicted to that nicotine and to that ritual of smoking.  Eating sweets to replace the smoking is easier than to remove the smoking without any replacement. And eating sweets is even worse than smoking.  How to change a Habit? We ask ourselves: 1.) Why do we have that bad habit? 2.) What is the worst outcome of our bad habit? 3.) What we desire when we overcome our bad habit? 4.) How we replace our bad habit with a new or better habit? 5.) How we reward us when we break our habit? For example Smoking 1.) Calms down. Socialized with smokers. 2.)Promotes cancer, heart and brain attack. Promotes cancer in people who are with us. Kissing of a smoker is disgusting is like kissing an ashtray. Body and cloth smell terrible. Yellow fingers. Wasting our money. Addiction. Blocks our body energy. Worsen our performance in sport. 3.) To be healthy. To live longer. Not to harm other people with smoking. To be a better lover, because we don’t smell so. To save the money of smoking for a great exciting vacation. To feel better. To become great in sport, when doing exercise.  4.) To breath deep in and out when we are getting scared, impatience, angry, frustrated or have the desire to smoke. To accept and love all of our feelings. To learn to relax. To start meditation. To replace our smoking friends. Smokers love that everybody smokes and so they like to tempt to smoke. They are really bad and disgusting people!!!! Get rid of them!!! Without changing our environment we can’t stop smoking! 5.) To make that vacation, that we deserve after a 1/2 year of nonsmoking. My Video: How to break a habit?  https://youtu.be/cQvs0dSVxlUMy Audio: https://divinesuccess.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/Podcast.B/How-to-break-a-habit.mp3