Reverse Jackass

Nick tells Evelyn about a financially fragile chapter of his Los Angeles years, one exciting payday, and the small gas-station mistake that immediately ate a much larger portion of that paycheck than planned.

Evelyn responds with a university memory involving a terrifying piano professor, one of her best performances, and an increasingly impossible-to-ignore wardrobe situation that somehow became the most important thing in the room. 

Also discussed: gambling math, Bach, classical-music intimidation, and the eternal wisdom that sometimes the obvious thing really does need to be said. 

Democracy comes out stain-free, but only because somebody soaked it first.

TEXT US!...and we'll respond, because that's the kind of people we are.

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Evelyn tells Nick about the worst shower she has ever taken: an already uncomfortable guest-bathroom situation that became dramatically worse thanks to one bathroom, one urgent interruption, and one deeply misguided attempt at “freshening” the air.

Nick responds with a story about trying to explain an unfortunate accident and immediately recreating the problem he was trying to explain.

Also discussed: weak water pressure, quitting smoking, and why sometimes the best way to improve a bad situation is to stop touching things. 

Democracy survives, but only because someone eventually locked the bathroom door. 

TEXT US!...and we'll respond, because that's the kind of people we are.

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Nick tells Evelyn about the time he was invited along to a Honda dealership for moral support and instead witnessed a car salesman so hostile, so unhelpful, and so committed to not selling a car that he may have changed Nick’s relationship with Honda forever.

Evelyn responds with her own stories of unreasonable hostility, including one school parking-lot moment where bad signage, construction, grief, and patience all failed to merge safely and she lost her cool on a guy just doing his job. 

Also discussed: good old boys, one-way exits, Tim Hortons omelet bites, and whether every day gives us the sacred opportunity to be a dick or not be a dick.

Democracy survives, but only because somebody eventually decided to buy a Toyota (NOT A HONDA).

TEXT US!...and we'll respond, because that's the kind of people we are.

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Evelyn tells Nick about a Christmas gift from 2014, resulting in a beautiful homemade chocolate pie. Unfortunately, Canadian winter knocks on the door, and offered a deeply unorthodox (and unfortunate) method to let nature butt in on the cooling process.

Nick responds with his own stories of the natural world turning against him, including an extremely well-aimed bird and a beloved cat whose curiosity once led him somewhere he very much did not belong. 

Also discussed: listener feedback, feline audacity, smoking-era decision-making, and the enduring question of whether nature attacked first or was simply retaliating.

Democracy avoids the cat pee, but only because it's already supersaturated in pee at the moment.

TEXT US!...and we'll respond, because that's the kind of people we are.

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Nick tells Evelyn about the couples therapy dynamic that scares him most, and it is not the loud, angry pair most people might expect. For him, the real concern is the couple whose conflict has gone underground for so long that nobody knows where the pressure is building anymore.

Evelyn responds with professional fears from different chapters of her life, including piano recital memory lapses, classroom chaos, and the lifelong terror of being misunderstood. 

Also discussed: Curves versus gyms, Canadian lumberjack workouts, Brecht, and whether or not the term, “The Canadian Mouthful” should be censored here.

Democracy survives, but only because someone finally passed the salt. 

TEXT US!...and we'll respond, because that's the kind of people we are.

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Evelyn tells Nick story of the time a full teaching day, a birthday dinner, a rainy drive home, and one badly timed traffic moment combined into a personal emergency with lasting upholstery implications for a car she was leasing.

Nick responds with not one BUT TWO stories about pushing the human bladder past its recommended operating limits, including a terrifying roadside bathroom situation and a freeway standstill that forced some deeply undignified problem-solving. 

Also discussed: teacher bathroom logistics, questionable orchestral instrument uses, the danger of giant sodas, loving spouses, and why prevention may be worth several gallons of cure. 

Democracy survives, but only because there was no line for the washroom.

TEXT US!...and we'll respond, because that's the kind of people we are.

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Nick tells Evelyn about a niche skill from his theme-park past, the old-school art of winning claw-machine prizes, and the devastating modern discovery that the machines may no longer respect craftsmanship or true skill.

Evelyn responds by zoning in on the moment she realized teaching had quietly been keeping her current, and that without daily teenage exposure, slang, music, gym trends, and skincare routines have become increasingly mysterious. 

Also discussed: Beanie Baby glory, working out in sock-feet, a surprise call to Nick's wife Amber, and one family story that proves some questions are inside-thoughts and should always remain as such. 

Democracy survives, but only because Petaluma Peppercorn Featherstone Rodriguez exists.

TEXT US!...and we'll respond, because that's the kind of people we are.

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After discussing some listener feedback about the injustice of mandatory track and field day, Evelyn starts into a story about a recent visit with old friends, a beloved kid, and the painful discovery that she may no longer be the favourite adult in the room.

Nick responds with stories about memorable goodbyes: one messy, one hopeful, and one so perfectly summarized that it still lives rent-free in his head. 

Also discussed: Elementary-school athletic trauma, Canadian field-day grievances, Chicago, and why sometimes the only reasonable advice is to leave town.

Democracy's left bawling on the sidewalk, but only because somebody eventually snuck out the back door. 

TEXT US!...and we'll respond, because that's the kind of people we are.

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Nick discovers he is not the only Nick Bognar out there in the world. Apparently there is a Christian rapper named Nick Bognar, an award-winning chef named Nick Bognar, and one deeply unimpressed youth soccer organizer who really needed a completely different "Nick Bognar" to take the shin guards seriously for once.

Evelyn counters with her own name-based chaos: From the American disco singer Evelyn "Champagne" King from the 70s, to the other Evelyn Flanagan at her pharmacy, to a music festival volunteer who accidentally created her future pen name (#AbilinSlanigan). 

Also discussed: teacher report cards, Starbucks spelling crimes, mysterious obituaries, Jill’s postcard success, and the terrible burden of being recognized as Carol when your name's definitely not Carol. 

Democracy's wheezing at this point...but only because they haven't seen their 23andMe results yet.

TEXT US!...and we'll respond, because that's the kind of people we are.

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Want to get in touch with Nick & Evelyn? 

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Evelyn introduces Nick to the legend of the Fred Wedge: a high school phenomenon so powerful it created a new family phrase, a private reenactment tradition, and a lasting inquiry into the physics of fabric (like, there were just SO MANY LAYERS CRAMMED UP IN THERE YOU GUYS...).

Nick responds with tight-space stories of his own, including a band trip to England where he was packed into a car like a piece of luggage, and a childhood storm drain adventure that now seems less “fun neighborhood exploring” and more “wow, where were the adults?” 

Also discussed: Massey Hall seating...it's not for the ample-bottomed.

Democracy's standing tall...only because there are too many shirts stuffed in its butt crack to sit down properly.

TEXT US!...and we'll respond, because that's the kind of people we are.

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Want to get in touch with Nick & Evelyn? 

Email them at [email protected]