A pineapple a day keeps the Sunday scaries at bay!

Today's topics include a face in the chili, walking on tables and eating off the floor, green apples, vigilantism, eating pork rinds and wisecracking, a quick click-around, Noam Chomski, bottled watered, I Am Unga Bunga, and second rate Nemo.

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One more time, we're at the DMV. Oh yeah, alright, don't stop doing paperwork. You know I'm just feeling, lots of paperwork, tonight, don't register too late, mmm, no, we're gunna do paperwork. The DMV's got me feeling the need.

Today's topics include kids with fruit for heads, old commercials, animatronics with human flesh, drinking champagne on an airplane, super Christian censor boxes, the long biker of the apocalypse, The Batman, the Ohio version of Seinfeld, and True Reviewer Power.

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It's a flash joke. Get it?

Today's topics include plastic coconuts, bomb pops, a little stretch in the net, Toadsworth, demented activity, bird watchers, cornflakes in a glass of water, Gobbaloons, and bad cotton candy.

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Like that scene from Ratatouille except instead of remembering a beautiful moment from your childhood after taking a bite, you just fall into Heffalump Hell with Winnie the Pooh, except instead of Winnie the Pooh its Freddy Krueger. So now you have yourself Heffalumps AND a guy in a tacky sweater messing with you. Not worth that bite of cotton candy at all, huh?

Today's topics include subliminal satanic messaging, the most dangerous game, strong boys, Gomu Gomu techniques, eating the sun, rhythmic torture, and your little white chicken flesh belly.

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How many comedy podcasters do you think record naked? I bet way less than other genres, because of the jiggle factor. Comedians don't like to feel their own jiggle when they're in the zone, of course.

Today's topics include bat butts and bat nipples, feeding the monkey, dangling, double F's, the Haagen-Dazs Apocalypse, Dom DeLouise, warm jello, and a bunch of milkshake.

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You're never really alone, just check the seats next to you for cheek prints. More often than not, you'll find that the spirit of one of your progenitors was resting their rump right next to you, perhaps guiding you, perhaps enjoying a bit of your company, perhaps just resting their sweaty dumper for a moment on their journey through space and time.

Today's topics include seeing a Neanderthal in the mirror, Bender the robot, bait and switches, Diddy Kong, hot weenies, first-hand freakitude, Beast Wars, Sugar Free Gummi Bears AGAIN, and poor oyster dudes.

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There is a waterfowl on the water prowl. Don't meander with your gander or you could get an Anser you don't like. These are puns, people.

Today's topics include Mandy Moore encased in amber, mist monsters, Saving Private Ryan, facts, gains, fish sticks, the very nature of intelligence, pervert licenses, sugar free gummie bears, and scratchy blankets.

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There is like one dish that eggplant is the star of, and it’s eggplant parmesan. That is just like, diet lasagna. Lasagna lite. Nah dawg, nah, I ain’t having NONE OF IT.

Today's topics include cymbal banging monkey laughter, tasty cartoon apples, the Mario 64 loading screen, name brand zip lock bags, bamboo, grapefruit juice, birthday cake protein, powerful beef jerky crushing jaws, bamboo again, and marble runs.

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If tin cans in tasteful bathing wear is wrong, I don't want to be right!

Today's topics include: cannonballs, brussel sprouts, vitamins, unwanted aloe vera, wax helmets, the old people's realm, gack, Short Circuit, turkey legs, Tinder, a visceral series of stills, and a hot liter of cool cola.

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When were you at your cutest, your youngest, and your most availablest? The apex of those three variables hold the secret to your springboard into success with money, fame, and great relationships. To find out more, order my self help 8-track box set.

Today's topics include the Pizza Hut call center and the Pizza Beast, a Kwik Trip to the grave, yelling "Rangers!", resting pickle face, and "snapchat users".

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