Eating Crumpets with Emily Post. You know, you wouldn’t think a couple of guys like us thinks much about etiquette, but au contraire, we’re dedicated to getting along with most of the folks who are also dedicated to getting along with us, so we try to be considerate, polite even, and today we’re gonna try […]

Getting Exactly What We Deserve. We complain a lot about getting old and our bodies falling apart, but we have systematically avoided all the precautionary steps one might take to mitigate the aforementioned problems. We didn’t wear enough pads or helmets. We didn’t use ear plugs. We didn’t wear the braces we were supposed to. […]

Support This Podcast Formative Filmography. The ‘70s, ‘80s, and ‘90s were a time before streaming, when you had to mean to watch a movie. It didn’t just happen by accident. Back then, people could sit still for 2 whole hours at a time without checking their phones or hitting their vapes even once. We watched […]

Support This Podcast Doomsday Prepping. As long as humanity has been new boot goofin’ around Planet Earth, we’ve been preparing for the end. Will it be an asteroid strike? Alien attack? Or will we just do the species-level equivalent of falling asleep with a lit cigarette? Questions like these sharpen the mind and help you […]

Support This Podcast The Pros and Cons of Being Alive. We’ve both been alive for more than half-a-century now, and that means we know stuff. We know what’s good about it, and we know what’s less good about it. For example, we know that there’s alien life in the universe and that it too wonders […]

Lightning Strikes Thrice. We’ve been doing a bad job of getting to the topic each week, which leaves you without the deep and wise words that you come here for. Instead of correcting our behavior and getting to work earlier in the podcast, we’re just going to give in to the ADD and spend the […]

The Princesses and the Peas. Even on our best days we encounter annoyances, dumb little things that threaten to send us into a blind rage. A pebble in the shoe. An ingrown hair. Tax prep. The voices of other people. Dave Grohl in a documentary. If we could eliminate them all, would we just invent […]

Stars Going Supernova. Even the stars in the sky flame out. They say the 50s are the new 30s, but in our 30s we could sleep and injuries still healed. In our experience the 50s might be the new 80s, where stuff breaks spontaneously and we give it all up to watch daytime news and […]

Serving Size Equals None. The ‘80s represented a magical confluence of microwave cookery and our own voracious adolescences. Have you ever eaten a Subway 6” meatball sub in two bites? Have you ever eaten a sleeve of Thin Mints and noticed how much it leaves your mouth tasting like you just smoked a menthol cigarette? […]

The Unhelpful Remembance of Selves Past. We always say, “Comparison is the theft of joy.” Actually, apparently, Teddy Roosevelt said it first. He also famously once said, “Who farted? Was it you?” but that’s neither here nor there. The thing is, the person we compare ourselves most often and most unhelpfully is our past self, […]