What if the thing you’ve been calling boredom in sobriety…

is actually a lack of expression?

In this episode, I sit down with Susi Glenna Milne to talk about creativity not as a hobby—but as a lifeline in recovery.

We get into what happens after you stop drinking and realize… okay, now I actually have to feel my life.

And instead of numbing out, what if you created your way through it?

We talk about how creativity in sobriety and recovery:

• brings you back online when everything feels flat
• gives you language for emotions you didn’t even know you had
• rebuilds self-respect, not just self-control
• connects you to community in a way that actually sticks

Because recovery isn’t just about removing alcohol.

It’s about building a life that feels worth staying for.

And let’s be clear about something—

Art is not reserved for a select, tortured, gallery-approved few.

It’s accessible. It’s human. It’s yours.

Everyone is an artist.

Not in a cheesy “everyone gets a gold star” way—

but in a real, grounded, you have something inside of you that needs expression kind of way.

We talk about breaking down gatekeeping and elitism in the art world, and why creativity in sobriety and recovery isn’t about being good…

It’s about being honest.

We also go there on bigger cultural conversations—

Like why women have historically been left out of the arts, had to fight harder for recognition, and are still reclaiming space in creative leadership.

We talk about Maria Grazia Chiuri, the first female creative director at Dior, and her documentary Her Dior—and why that matters more than people think.

We get into feminist punk energy, rebellion, and why creating—especially as a woman in recovery—is a quiet (and sometimes loud) act of resistance.

Yes, even against the current cultural climate that can feel… let’s just say icky.

And we talk about something that changed both of our lives:

The community we found through She Recovers Foundation.

A space where sobriety and recovery aren’t about shame or labels—

but about strength, voice, and rebuilding self-esteem from the inside out.

That kind of community doesn’t just support recovery.

It restores identity.

This episode is for you if:

• you’re sober or in recovery and feel flat, lost, or disconnected
• you’re tired of white-knuckling and want to actually feel alive
• you’ve told yourself “I’m not creative” (we’re calling bullshit on that)
• you’re craving connection, expression, and something that feels real

• Sobriety gives you your life back—but creativity shows you how to live it
• Numbing shuts you down. Creating brings you back online
• You don’t need talent—you need willingness
• Expression is how we process emotion in recovery
• Community is where self-esteem gets rebuilt
• Art is not elite—it’s accessible, and it belongs to everyone

If you’re in that in-between space—

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

Guest Info: Susi Milne

@susimilne777artwork

@susimilneartist777

My solid guess is this: You didn’t drink because you were weak.

You drank because your brain adapted.

In this episode, we’re breaking down one of the biggest lies in recovery culture: that shame will somehow motivate you into becoming a better version of yourself.

Spoiler: it won’t.

In fact, it does the opposite.

Using both neuroscience and real-life, messy-human examples, Kate is walking you through why shame keeps you stuck in the exact patterns you’re trying to escape—and what actually creates lasting change instead.

We’re talking about:

• Why alcohol “worked” (and what it was actually doing for you)
• The internal war that starts for many women in sobriety
• The difference between eliminating parts of yourself vs. integrating them
• What shame does to your brain (hello, survival mode)
• Why your prefrontal cortex basically clocks out when you’re in self-attack
• How safety—not punishment—is the key to rewiring your brain
• The real difference between suppressing behavior and actually changing it
• Why encouragement works (and why punishment backfires)
• How to interrupt the shame spiral in real time

This isn’t about letting yourself off the hook.

It’s about finally using a strategy that actually works.

Because:

You cannot hate yourself into a new identity.

But you can understand yourself into one.

If you’ve been stuck in the cycle of:

Trigger → shame → escape → repeat

This episode will show you how to shift into:

Trigger → awareness → safety → choice → change

And yeah… we’re also calling out the very human tendency to try and fix your life by bullying yourself into submission.

(How’s that been working for you?)

• Your brain is not moral—it’s efficient
• Shame activates survival mode, not growth
• Safety is what allows real change to happen
• Encouragement reinforces behavior; punishment suppresses it
• The part of you that drank was trying to help—not destroy you
• Integration > elimination, every time

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

What if the way you introduce yourself…

is keeping you stuck?

In this episode, we’re diving into something that’s deeply normalized in recovery spaces—but rarely questioned:

The words you use to describe who you are.

Because when you repeatedly say:

“I am an alcoholic”

“I am broken”

“This is just who I am”

Your brain listens.

Not emotionally.

Neurologically.

And it starts wiring your identity around those words.

But what if there’s another way?

As a SHE RECOVERS coach I love their guiding principle:

We lead with our strengths, not our defects.

Not denial.

Not bypassing.

Not pretending the past didn’t happen.

But choosing to orient your identity toward:

• what’s working
• what’s true about your resilience
• who you are becoming

Because that’s how people actually change.

• Why identity language in recovery matters more than you think
• The neuroscience behind repetition, language, and neuroplasticity
• “Neurons that fire together wire together” (and how your words reinforce patterns)
• Why your brain doesn’t fact-check you—it patterns you
• The difference between a fixed identity vs. an evolving one
• How leading with your “wound” can keep you looping in it
• The power of the spoken word (science + something deeper)
• Why some recovery language helps—and some quietly limits growth
• How to shift your identity without denying your past

• You’ve ever felt stuck in a label that no longer fits
• You’re sober… but still identifying with your lowest point
• You want to rebuild your identity—not just remove alcohol
• You’re ready to think for yourself instead of blindly following recovery scripts

• Your brain wires what you repeat—not what is objectively true
• Identity is not fixed—it’s built through language and behavior
• Leading with your strengths creates expansion, not denial
• You can honor your past without living in it
• The way you speak about yourself directly shapes your future

Work with Kate:

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

Every year, the first Monday in May, the world watches the Met Gala—a spectacle of fashion, identity, and storytelling through art.

And this year?

I’m not on that carpet.

But I am building something that matters a hell of a lot more.

Because the version of me who used to drink herself into invisibility…

is now creating a life out loud.

In this episode, I’m taking you inside the real plot twist of sobriety—what happens when you don’t just quit drinking… you actually start living.

We’re talking about:

• Why sobriety is not small, safe, or boring (it’s actually disruptive in the best way)
• How rock bottom can strip you down and make you unexpectedly fearless
• The identity shift that happens when you stop numbing and start noticing everything
• Midlife power, body neutrality, and the freedom of no longer performing for approval
• The psychology of fashion, creativity, and self-expression in recovery
• Why “escaping” doesn’t go away—you just start escaping into things that expand you
• The stigma around addiction and what happens when you tell the truth out loud
• What it’s like to exist in spaces (like fashion) where sobriety “doesn’t belong”… until it does
• How following small “breadcrumbs” led to building something bigger than I ever planned
• The vision behind the Vitela Runway Project—fashion, recovery, creativity, and community

Because here’s the truth no one tells you:

Sobriety doesn’t shrink your life.

It expands it.

And yeah—it’s inconvenient.

Because now you actually have to show up for it.

This episode is for the woman who:

• Quit drinking and is now thinking… “okay, but now what?”
• Feels more alive, more curious, and slightly overwhelmed by it
• Is ready to stop playing small and start experimenting with who she actually is
• Wants more than just “not drinking”—she wants a life

You don’t need a perfect plan.

You need a breadcrumb.

• Sobriety doesn’t remove desire—it brings it back online
• Rock bottom can create grounded fearlessness
• Midlife can be your most powerful era—not your decline
• Creativity is a powerful replacement for numbing and suppression
• Internal validation > external approval
• You don’t need clarity—you need curiosity and action

If you’re in that space—

you’ve quit drinking, but you’re not interested in a small, controlled life—

Come sit with us.

Inside Rewired Sober, we don’t just talk about not drinking.

We talk about building something with your life.

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

Mama- You’re not too angry.

You’re finally paying attention.

In this episode, we’re talking about something that gets misunderstood, minimized, and straight-up pathologized—especially in women:

Rage.

Not surface-level irritation.

Not “I need a bubble bath.”

I’m talking about the kind of anger that makes you look at your life and go:

“Are you kidding me?”

This isn’t a “calm down and regulate” conversation.

This is about sacred rage—what happens when you stop suppressing yourself, stop numbing out, and start seeing things clearly.

We’re getting into:

• Why anger often explodes in early sobriety (and why that’s normal)
• The difference between anger and resentment (one moves, one traps you)
• How women are conditioned to suppress anger—and why that’s not accidental
• Why “look at your part” can actually backfire for women
• What anger is really protecting (hint: it’s not just anger)
• How triggers aren’t problems—they’re information
• The connection between rage, grief, shame, and heartbreak
• Why humor might be one of your most underrated tools in recovery
• How to actually work with your anger instead of bypassing it

Because here’s the truth:

Anger isn’t dysfunction.

It’s data.

And when you stop trying to eliminate it—and start understanding it—it becomes something else entirely:

Clarity. Power. Direction.

This episode is for the woman who:

• Feels more intense since getting sober
• Is tired of being told to “just let it go”
• Knows something isn’t right—but hasn’t fully trusted herself yet
• Is done being agreeable, quiet, and easy to manage

You don’t need to become unbothered to heal.

You need to become honest.

• Anger is activating and truth-telling; resentment is looping and draining
• Women’s anger has been historically minimized to maintain control
• Early sobriety removes the buffer—so emotions come back louder
• Anger is often a secondary emotion (underneath = grief, shame, hurt)
• Triggers reveal unmet needs, not personal flaws
• You can feel rage and still be grounded, self-aware, and in control

If this episode hit a nerve—good.

That’s not a problem. That’s information.

And if you’re ready to stop suppressing, bypassing, or second-guessing yourself…

and actually learn how to work with your mind, your body, and your emotions in a way that builds self-trust—

Come sit with me inside Rewired Sober.

We're not numbing it out.

We're not bypassing it.

We ARE learning how to use it.

Begin.

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

What if the problem wasn’t just alcohol…

but the way you were taught to stop thinking for yourself?

In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on something bigger than recovery culture.

Deprogramming from AA dogma forced me to confront a deeper pattern—cult mentality—and how it shows up everywhere: sobriety spaces, religion, spiritual healing circles, coaching communities, friendships, and even romantic relationships.

We’re not talking about extreme, fringe groups.

We’re talking about everyday environments that:

• reward obedience
• punish questioning
• use fear, shame, or belonging to keep you in line
• slowly disconnect you from your own voice

I break down the actual psychological characteristics of cult-like systems, including:

• thought reform and control dynamics
• loaded language and black-and-white thinking
• why questioning gets labeled as “resistance” or “ego”
• how doctrine can override your lived experience
• and how self-trust quietly erodes over time

We also go deep into something that doesn’t get talked about enough:

spiritualized gaslighting.

You know the vibe:

• “you’re not manifesting hard enough”
• “your energy is off”
• “you’re low vibe”
• “you’re blocked”

When everything becomes your fault, even your pain.

I share honestly about why I was vulnerable to this—early sobriety, early business, high school (yikes), and relationships where I needed validation because underneath it all, I didn’t trust myself.

This is not about blaming groups or shaming people.

It’s about understanding how smart, capable women lose themselves in systems that promise healing, certainty, and belonging.

And more importantly—how we get ourselves back.

If you’ve ever:

• felt afraid to question something you were told was “the answer”
• noticed your mental health decline in a space that was supposed to help you
• felt like you had to perform, comply, or stay quiet to belong
• or realized you were outsourcing your identity, intuition, or worth

This episode is for you.

Because recovery isn’t about following the leader.

It’s about learning how to trust yourself again.

⬇️ READY TO GO DEEPER?

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

Deprogramming AA Tools w/ Kirsten: https://www.sobrietybestie.com/

⬇️ READY TO GO DEEPER?

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

Everyone is talking about nervous system regulation—but what does that actually look like in real life?

In this episode, Kate sits down with nurse coach Amyee to talk about emotional numbness, why so many women feel disconnected from themselves, and what’s really happening in the body after years of stress, trauma, and dysregulation.

They explore the idea of numbness as a “black hole”—something many women avoid through coping behaviors like drinking, scrolling, shopping, overeating, and overworking. But what if those behaviors aren’t failures… and are actually attempts to regulate an overwhelmed nervous system?

This conversation breaks down:

• why numbness happens
• how the nervous system drives coping behaviors
• the difference between mindset work and somatic work
• why proper training matters in somatic coaching
• and how to start reconnecting with your body in practical, real-life ways

If you’ve ever felt checked out, flat, or like you’re just going through the motions—this episode will help you understand why… and what to do next.

• Nervous system regulation in everyday life
• Emotional numbness and disconnection
• Trauma, chronic stress, and dysregulation
• The “black hole” of avoided emotions
• Why women numb out (alcohol, scrolling, food, shopping, overworking)
• Somatic work vs. mindset work
• The importance of training and expertise in somatic coaching
• Practical tools for grounding and staying present

Numbness Isn’t Random

Why feeling flat, disconnected, or “off” is often the result of a chronically overwhelmed nervous system—not a personal failure.

The Black Hole

The uncomfortable truth: many women avoid deeper pain, grief, or unresolved emotions by staying busy, distracted, or numbed out—and what it takes to actually face that space.

Coping Isn’t the Problem

Drinking, scrolling, eating, shopping, overworking—these aren’t just bad habits. They’re attempts to regulate stress when your system doesn’t feel safe.

Why Mindset Isn’t Enough

You can’t think your way into feeling safe. This episode explores why empowerment has to include the body—not just thoughts.

Somatic Work That Actually Helps

What real nervous system support looks like (and why training matters if someone is guiding others through this work).

Practical Regulation (Without Escaping Your Life)

Simple, realistic ways to stay grounded, aware, and connected to your body throughout the day.

Connect with the guest Amyee Oen:

www.amyeeoen.com

IG/FB @amyeeoen @findyourtruenorthcoaching

Connect with Kate at Rewired Sober on All Social Media Platforms

Book a Discovery Call with Kate: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Email the Podcast: [email protected]

In this solo episode, Kate shares what she can feel falling away in her life—and what she’s consciously choosing to embrace instead.

Inspired by a meditation on the goddess Kali from the work of Meggan Watterson and the spiritual teaching of choosing love over fear from A Course in Miracles, Kate reflects on the identities, beliefs, and systems she’s outgrowing.

From recovery dogma and online hustle culture to “good girl” conditioning, this episode explores what it looks like to stop shrinking—and start living with honesty, courage, creativity, and unapologetic feminist energy.

Kate reflects on a powerful question that emerged during a meditation inspired by the work of Meggan Watterson and her Divine Feminine oracle deck.

The card of the goddess Kali invites a confronting but liberating intention:

release all that doesn’t serve you and become the truth of who you are.

This episode explores what it means to consciously choose love over fear, a concept also central to the teachings of A Course in Miracles.

Kate shares several areas of life where she can feel old identities, beliefs, and structures naturally falling away—and what she is embracing instead.

This conversation is about honesty, growth, and the courage to outgrow what once felt necessary.

• Shedding the pressure of the online business “hustle culture” model and embracing authentic connection with real communities of women in recovery

• Letting go of recovery dogma, fear-based thinking, and outdated rhetoric while embracing neuroscience, feminism, soul work, and self-trust

• Releasing the “good girl” conditioning that keeps women quiet about politics, injustice, and women’s rights—and finding the courage to speak honestly

• Redefining fashion and creativity as personal expression rather than trend-chasing or external validation

• The spiritual practice of allowing old identities to fall away so a more authentic life can emerge

This episode is an invitation to ask yourself:

What in my life is an old skin?

What am I holding onto out of fear?

And what might happen if I chose love instead?

Early sobriety can feel confusing, emotional, and honestly… pretty weird. You quit drinking and everyone expects life to magically improve overnight. But the truth is, the early stages of sobriety often come with exhaustion, emotional whiplash, boredom, and a lot of questions about who you are without alcohol.

In this solo episode, Kate Vitela, RN, takes a no-nonsense, honest look at early sobriety—what’s actually happening in your brain, why emotions feel so intense, and why this phase can feel both awkward and transformative at the same time.

Kate breaks down the real challenges people face after quitting alcohol, from the neurological recalibration happening in your brain to the emotional and identity shifts that often follow. She also shares practical ways to stabilize your nervous system, rebuild routines, and navigate the messy middle of sobriety without shame.

This conversation is especially relevant for midlife women who have spent years carrying responsibilities, performing strength, and using alcohol as a socially acceptable coping tool. When alcohol leaves the picture, many women begin reclaiming clarity, boundaries, creativity, and self-trust.

Early sobriety may feel uncomfortable at times—but it’s also where something powerful begins. It’s where you start rebuilding a life that no longer revolves around coping.

If you’re newly sober or questioning your relationship with alcohol, this episode offers a grounded reminder: nothing is wrong with you. Your brain and nervous system are recalibrating, and with time, support, and honesty, a new kind of confidence and clarity can emerge.

• Why early sobriety can feel emotionally intense and disorienting
• What’s actually happening in your brain after you stop drinking
• The emotional whiplash many people experience in the early stages of sobriety
• Why boredom is one of the most common and surprising challenges
• How sobriety can shift relationships and social dynamics
• The identity questions that often arise after alcohol is removed
• Practical strategies that help stabilize the nervous system during early recovery
• Why midlife sobriety can become a powerful turning point for women
• How rebuilding self-trust becomes one of the biggest rewards of sobriety

• Creating structure through sleep, meals, and daily routines
• Moving your body to regulate stress and restore dopamine balance
• Stabilizing blood sugar with consistent nutrition
• Building new rituals to replace drinking habits
• Learning emotional literacy and how to name what you’re feeling
• Reducing unnecessary chaos and protecting your energy
• Staying curious about your experience instead of judging it
• Finding honest conversations and supportive connection

Early sobriety isn’t just about removing alcohol. It’s about rebuilding your nervous system, your identity, and your life. The process can feel awkward and uncomfortable at times—but on the other side of that rebuild is something many people never experienced while drinking: real clarity, self-trust, and freedom.

Work With Kate: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Email The Podcast: [email protected]

⬇️ READY TO GO DEEPER?

https://linktr.ee/KateVitela

If you’re a midlife woman questioning your relationship with alcohol or figuring out what comes next in sobriety, I’ve created resources to help you move forward with clarity and confidence.

Nurses spend their careers taking care of everyone else. But what happens when the caregiver is the one who needs help?

In this episode, Kate sits down with Stephanie, an ICU nurse with 26 years of experience, a mother of three, and a powerful advocate for honesty and compassion in the conversation around addiction and recovery in healthcare.

Stephanie brings both clinical insight and lived experience to a topic that many nurses know exists—but rarely talk about openly: monitoring programs for healthcare professionals struggling with substance use.

After Kate came across one of Stephanie’s social media posts about receiving a random UA, it sparked a deeper conversation about the realities many nurses face behind the scenes. It also brought Kate back to the origin of her own podcast journey—when the show was first called “You’ve Been Selected,” a phrase that captures what it can feel like to suddenly find yourself navigating recovery systems you never expected to enter.

Together they explore the complex intersection of burnout, stigma, accountability, recovery, and motherhood, and ask a bigger question about healthcare culture:

Are the systems designed to help struggling professionals actually supporting healing—or simply monitoring behavior?

This conversation is not about avoiding responsibility. Patient safety and accountability matter. But so does compassion for the caregivers working in one of the most demanding professions on the planet.

This episode opens an honest discussion about what it looks like to fall, take responsibility, rebuild trust, and find your way forward as both a nurse and a human being.

In this episode we discuss:

• The intense pressures nurses face in high-acuity environments like the ICU

• The connection between burnout, substance use, and mental health in healthcare

• What it’s really like to enter a professional monitoring program

• The fear and stigma many nurses face when asking for help

• Accountability, recovery, and rebuilding a career after crisis

• Navigating motherhood and professional identity during recovery

• How healthcare systems can better support nurses before things reach a breaking point

If you’re a nurse—or anyone working in a high-pressure helping profession—this conversation offers an honest look at the human side of healthcare.

You are not the only one who has struggled, and there is a path forward.

Listen, reflect, and share this episode with a nurse who might need to hear it.

Connect With Kate: https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Guest Info: Stephanie Kelley https://www.instagram.com/sober_steph_mom_nurse/