Friday 27th March 2026 - Roboteacher. Rich and Ally are back for the last Newsround of the week and judging by this one it's probably good they're taking a bit of time to take stock and get their heads together and sort out Richard's health issues. Two news stories covered today which you won't see in the lamestream media - zip lining benefit cheats and Melania's army of info-robots. Watch Bake Off at 7.40pm on Channel 4 on Sunday just to see how good Rich can be on lamestream TV.

Thursday March 26th 2026 - Very Old Dog. Rich and Ally are back to tell you all the main news to ever come out of Cheddar in Somerset. So it's quite a short bulletin.

Tuesday 24th March 2026 - Deuteronomy 22:23-24. Rich and Ally are back in Da House and today they are reporting on the most controversial thing that has ever happened regarding the BBC show The Repair Shop in which they almost repaired an old joke book with some old jokes in it, that they didn't need to read out, but which still mustn't be on TV even in closed book form. Newsround is the most unsexist show on TV or the internet, as long as that is what people still are against, and so only we can report on this without prejudice. Take note Lamestream media and celestial bodies that are trying to blind and silence us.

23rd March 2026 - Finger Hair. Rich and Ally are back to discuss Donald Trump RTing a SNLUK sketch and get an exclusive interview with the real PM to find out if SNLUK is as funny as it used to be.

Thursday 19th March 2026 - Bigfeet. Rich and Ally are back to give you all the news the lame stream media doesn't want you to see. Today they're looking at whether the very convincing 1967 footage of a Big Foot walking through a forest is a real Big Foot or just a man dressed up as a Big Foot. With special report from a forest somewhere.

Wednesday 18th March 2026: Receding Bums. Rich and Ally are back to talk about how many times a day you should be brushing your teeth and what might happen to you if you fail to hit that number. It's more of an intervention than a news programme. Still ignored by the lamestream media.

17th March 2026 - Banksy Uncovered. Rich and Ally are here with all the big news stories and today reveal the true identity of controversial artist Banksy (can you guess what Cocky Carrot calls him?). Journalism at its finest.

Monday 16th March 2026 - Dead as a Dodo. Rich and Ally are back for another week in the Newsround studio, despite really having too much to do. They are discussing plans to resurrect the dodo. I don't have time to write the blurb as I have to take my daughter to the train station.

Friday 13th March 2026 - Faeces and Thyme (Time). Rich and Ally are back after a brief break to bring you all the Roman poop news that you could want. Plus to take the piss out of some foreign academics for their dubious career choices. It's what the public want. Also a new reporter joins the team. It's the yeast we can do for you.

Wednesday 11th March - Crossing the Rubicon. Rich and Ally are back for the shoddiest Newsround yet, as they look at the worst person in the world, a man who cloned his beloved pet. Was it a waste of money when animals reproduce for free? Should you put all your eggs in one basket? What about a ventriloquist dummy/human hybrid? It's all utter nonsense today. They can't all be gold.