Rich and Ally's Craven Newsround

8/10/26 Flea Glob - Rich and Ally (and Ziggy?) look at the upcoming new pandemic and the return of the plague and try to accentuate the positive. A brave reporter is over at the Russian plague lab now and will let the world know how close to extinction we are.

7/10/26 Penile System. It's a serious topic for today's Newsround - is it OK to kill a murderer or does that just make you a murderer too? Who better to work this out than a washed-up comedian, a 134 year-old ventriloquist dummy and a naked baby with a disembodied arm? No one that is who.

5/10/26 Randrew Andrew's No Can Do It's a new week on Newsround, but same old rubbish. Today Rich, Ally and channel-mandated co-host Ziggy look at Andrew Mountbattenburg-Iceburg-Lettuce-Withagladsomemind- Windsor-Peppapigland attempt to prosecute the police who dared arrest him when he's (apparently) done nothing wrong. With the interview that the lamestreamers would kill for Randrew Andrew himself.

2/10/26 - Richard E Grant the Traitor. Last Newsround of the week and there have been some changes in the line-up. Let us know who you'd like to present ideally. The team talk about something you won't see in the LSM, the new series of Traitors and the stupidity of one of Rich's sworn enemies. Will Richard (Herring) ever get his revenge. It's doubtful. Certainly not right now. Would you rather be on Traitors or Craven Newsround?

1/10/26 County Fair Merkin - Rich and Ally are back with a new co-host to talk about why being bald is masculine and why we have pubic hair. You won't get this in the lamestream media. Except in the Guardian.

29/9/26 - No Speculation. Rich and Ally cover a story that you won't have read about in LSM, some suspicious activity around RAF Fairford. Even if you've got wind of it then I don't think any of your news sources will have come at it from this angle. There will be no speculation in this one. Just cold hard facts based on stuff that we've heard from strangers on social media. Plus an on the spot report from... ooops nearly told you.

Friday 25th September 2026 - Beetroot Fairytale Palaces. Reporting the stories you won't see in the Lamestream media, Rich and Ally give a full report on this year's massive vegetable competition. With some warnings to those of you intending to make some cumpkins this year. I would write more but I need to pick my son up from school.

Thursday 24th September 2026 - News 101. The latest opinion polls are out and it's bad news for Nigel Farage, but not particularly good news for any of the parties, though Andy Burnham seems particularly happy. We visit Farage in his natural surroundings to find out how he feels about it all and Rich hedges his bets so he won't be first up against the wall if people fail to vote to keep him out.

23/9/26 Shrinkflaktion. After a brief personal spat, Rich and Ally look at Ebola and chocolate bars, but not at the same time. Has chocolate got smaller? Did it get bigger under Tony Blair's leadership? Why didn't Ally sing "Twix can only get bigger" at that point? Is brand curator a job that you can be proud of? And a special report from inside a chocolate factory, but by which character?

Craven Newsround Extra - The Man Behind The Mask. It's the weekend, which means that for some reason Hahayourbuttsmells is available for an interview. Who is this person? Is he a person? Why can't be appear on weekdays anymore? And is he surprisingly serious and sensitive in his day to day life. You can find out in today's episode. Also he keeps it to under 5 minutes so that's good.