Rippin' on the Rock: A Rock N Lol Podcast

Rippin' on the Rock: A Rock N Lol Podcast

By Rippin' On The Rock: A Rock N LOL PodcastComedy
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Rippin' on the Rock: A Rock N Lol Podcast episodes

  • Ep. 007 - American Hi-Fi "Flavor of the Weak"
    Pop Punk The Aughts Episode 7: Flavor of the Weak
    After watching Jake Busey dunk on Frederick for a while, the boys got his autograph on a Starship Troopers poster Memphis always keeps folded up in his wallet.
    "Man I'm getting kinda hungry," Cameron said, lifting up his shirt and rubbing his exposed tummy. "You got anything to eat around here, Frederick?"
    Frederick was still sweating and breathing hard but he managed to raise a hand and point to a door labeled "The Flavor."
    The boys filed through the door and slammed it shut. Unbeknownst to them, the plate on the door fell off to reveal "The Flavour."
    Inside the door, John, Memphis and Cameron looked around as they found themselves in a giant ice cream parlor.
    "Holy shit! There's gotta be a hundred fucking flavors here," John yelled, pressing his face against the sneeze guard.
    Suddenly an impossibly old man dressed in a pink striped suit and paper hat appeared behind the counter. The light from the freezer encasing all the delicious ice cream made his sunken eyes seem all the more sullen.
    "Wut can I get ya, gents?" the man asked. His words were barely intelligible and dripping with a thick cockney accent.
    "You got that Superman flavor?" Cameron asked, his eyes scanning the case greedily.
    "For you, of course," he said reaching for an ice cream scoop. "The ole Superman for a proper lad. It weren't always called that though. Used to be it was called Leprechaun Sick and folks didn't find that too appealin'. Then one day I noticed it had colors right similar to that Superman fellow so I's start calling it that. It's been popular ever since."
    "Taking you a long time to fill that cone huh?" John said impatiently.
    "Wait a minute. Do you guys smell whiskey and cigarettes and like 40 years of groupies?" Memphis said.
    "Now that you say that. This dude does look kind of familiar…" Cameron said slowly.
    The man finished sculpting Cameron's cone and held it out to him.
    "You all can just call me Keef and leave it at that," the man said with a smile that made the boys feel uneasy.
    "What's that flavor down there? The one that's like glowing and shit." Memphis said, pointing to the far end of the counter.
    "Oh you boys don't want that flavor," Keef sai, his smile disappearing. "That be the Flavour of the Weak and weren't no bloke who tried that ever felt himself quite again."
    Will the boys try the Flavor of the Weak?
    Stay tuned.
    Highlights include: Butterscotch Root Beer; Gratefully dead; 10 Things I Hate About Ledger; Willy Wonka kills kids; Drummer Boi; Radventure Awaits; Named by Keef; Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-Bob Rock; Ice Cream Semen; Cyrus the Virus; Matchbox 20 Money; Virtual Fidelity; Rolling on Sprewells; Heavy Beating in Parking Lot; Blast from the Past; HER BOYFRIEND; The People vs. Stacy Jones; I Just Married My Boss's Daughter
    1 hr 34 min
  • Ep. 006 - The Offspring "Original Prankster"
    Pop Punk the Aughts Episode 6: Original Prankster
    After taking turns vomiting in the bar bathroom, Cameron, Memphis and John headed to the exit as the bartender cackled behind them.
    "Holy fuck, that Malort was nasty," John said, wiping his tongue off with his sock. "This actually tastes slightly better."
    "Yeah, I think I've had enough of Chicago." Memphis said. "I'm craving that SoCal vibe."
    "Wasn't the knob on the other side?" Cameron asked with his face screwed up in confusion. "I don't think this is the same door."
    The boys looked at each other and shrugged and opened the door. Instead of the colorful hallway, they entered a spacious although dimly-lit gymnasium and were met with the echoes of a basketball dribble.
    "The fuck? Hey wait isn't that Mug--I mean Frederick over there shooting free throws?" Cameron said, pointing.
    John and Memphis followed his gaze to the other end of the court where they saw Frederick in full Charlotte Hornets garb. They watched him miss shot after shot and each time he missed he yelled "AWW BUTT!"
    The boys approached Frederick and he spun around when he heard their footsteps. He looked embarrassed.
    "He-hey guys! Just getting some practice in." Frederick said with an uneasy smile. "You all enjoying yourselves?"
    "Not really," John said, staring hungrily at the ball in Frederick's hands. "Also you should really move your elbows in when you shoot. Trust me. I played basketball. Here let me show you."
    Frederick backed away. "No, that's okay." He laughed uncomfortably. "I'm just having an off day."
    "Do you have any ACTUAL pop punk bands here?" Memphis asked. "Like maybe...oh I don't know... THE OFFSPRING?"
    "What a coincidence!" Frederick exclaimed. "Dexter Holland is actually on his way here for a one-on-one match. In fact, I think I hear him."
    Just then the opening to "Original Prankster" began blaring over the loudspeakers. There was a loud CHUNK as all the gym lights turned on at once and the boys turned to see a figure walking out of the locker room in a Toon Squad jersey.
    "Holy shit! That IS Dexter" Memphis yelled.
    "I don't know...he looks kinda weird." John said, his eyes darting from the figure to the basketball.
    "Wait a minute...is that fucking Jake Busey?!" Cameron yelled.
    What will happen next? Stay tuned.
    Highlights include: Shasta La Vista; Those breadsticks though; Noodles Ca-booze-les; Vincent Priceless; WCW Nitro; Spanish for Dummies; Taking a Napster; Dexter's Lab; Hot Sauce for Sissies; Flying without dying; OP not OG; Shit eaters; Reno 411; Rob Schneider is...a gimmick; Wait, Redman smokes weed?; Serious lyrics; The tip smells like shit; Chocolate diaper
    1 hr 26 min
  • ROTR Presents: J-Dogggg's Christmas Special!
    It's a J-Dogggg Christmas Special! Come join Memphis Raines and John Milton as they are actively tortured by J-Dogggg's presence while he asks them about their favorite Christmas movies and songs and gifts and such. Also Santa shows up!
    33 min
  • Ep. 005 - Fall Out Boy "Sugar We're Goin Down"
    Pop Punk the Aughts Episode 5: Sugar, We’re Going Down
    “Well THAT was fucking awful,” John announced loudly as the boys emerged from a very loud room into a long brightly colored hallway.
    Frederick had led them to what they thought was a live performance of Simple Plan featuring Jeff but instead it was just Simple Flan, a Simple Plan cover band that dressed up like the dessert.
    “Yeah, pretty bad,” Cameron agreed. “I’m fucking parched. Is there anything to drink around here?”
    As soon as Cameron spoke, a door appeared further down the hallway. It had “BAR” written on it gold lettering.
    “Sweet. I’m gonna get me a kraft brew!” Memphis exclaimed, taking off ahead of Cameron and John.
    The two chased after and followed him through the door. The boys stood in a dimly lit bar. A neon sign proclaiming “CHICAGO BABY!” buzzed on the wall behind a not-too-cheery looking bartender. There were no other customers.
    “What’ll it be?” the bartender asked, looking annoyed.
    “I’ll have a…hmm…lot to choose from…” Memphis said, eyeing the extensive beer listing.
    “I SAID WHAT’LL IT BE I AINT GOT ALL FUCKIN DAY,” the barkeep growled, slamming his fist on the counter.
    John began to slowly roll up the sleeve of his punching arm but stopped when Cameron waved him off and approached the bar amicably.
    “You seem to be having a long day, pal.” Cameron said, putting on his fakest and cheesiest smile as he laid a $20 down on the bar. “Don’t worry. We tip well. Go ahead and give us three of whatever your favorite drink is.”
    “That’d be Malort,” the bartender said gruffly, setting up three shot glasses.
    “Malort? Never heard of it,” John said. “But it can’t be THAT bad,right?”
    What happens next? Stay tuned.
    Highlights include: Malibu’s Most Malort-ed; Neurosis Nerd; STDs; Chicago-Style Baby!; Noodle Fuel; Billy Ray Haircut; King Pete; Ashleeeee; Goin to the Movies: Allstar-ed on Ativan; Hit me up on G-mail; Hot Take!; Sweet cover; What’s a bedpost?; Amazing chicken joke; Trapped in a closet; Parent Pranks
    1 hr 48 min
  • Ep. 004 - Simple Plan "Addicted"
    Pop Punk The Aughts Episode 4: Addicted
    The man in the suit climbed to his feet sans stilts and pants and he stood before the boys in boxer shorts with dollar signs on them.
    "Whoa. I don't remember Muggsy being THIS short," exclaimed Cameron.
    "I'm not him, asshole!" The man yelled. "He's just my hero. That's why I wear his jersey. My name's Frederick McCormick and this here's my circus."
    "We were told you had some pop punk acts here. Is it just the bears or…" Memphis trailed off.
    "Oh those are just for the tourists," Frederick said, dusting himself off.
    He walked over to the nearby wall, slid back a panel and pressed a button to an intercom.
    "Hey Jerry, can I get a new pair of pants?" Frederick spoke into the speaker. "Regular-size pleased. Oh and have somebody reset the bears. We're doing something different with our guests."
    A garbled "Right away, Boss" came back through the speaker.
    "Now, how do you boys feel about Simple Plan?" Frederick said with an eerie smile.
    "Oh, fuck me. Not again." John grumbled as he finished tying his shoes.
    "Are they here? We heard that Jeff guy is pretty cool," Cameron said.
    "Right this way, gentleman" Frederick said with a bow.
    It was soon interrupted by a man in a panda suit appearing from a hidden door. He handed Frederick a pair of dress pants.
    "Goddammit, Jerry. Not while I'm being dramatic."
    What happens next? Stay tuned.
    Highlights: Deja Vu; Green Water; More Dumb Names; To The Face; It's Always Winter in Hockey; Open Mouth, Insert Dong; Such a Great Joke; Wrestling is back!; Dino Don Vito Bravo; You Motherfucker; JCVD BVDs; Shrinky Dinx; Resting Mah Chin; Scooby Dude; Spying On Kids!; TV Smashers; Red Peters; Welcome to My Life; Fan Pop Facts; Jeff!; So Drunk; Fwins
    1 hr 19 min
  • Ep. 003 - Good Charlotte "Little Things"

    Pop Punk the Aughts Episode 3: Little Things

    The boys whirled around to see a man towering over them. He was at least 12 feet tall dressed in a neon green tuxedo with incredibly long pants. A top hat with a wide brim cast a shadow over his face and only his teeth shined in the light.

    “Whoa! This guy’s huge!” Cameron exclaimed.

    “I’m pretty sure he’s on stilts,” Memphis said, shouting above the music.

    “Are YOU the one who touched my ass?” John growled, rolling up the sleeve of his punching arm.

    The man raised a hand and the animatronic bears stopped playing at once.

    “I’m glad you could join me, gentlemen.” the man said. His voice was deep and gravelly. “Perhaps I could show you some--”

    The man was cut off as his hat was knocked off by a shoe. Cameron and Memphis turned to see John standing sock-footed with another shoe in hand.

    “Don’t mess with me, buddy. I played baseball,” John shouted.

    “Wait!” Cameron shouted, holding a hand up to John. “This guy looks familiar...are...are you Muggsy Bogues?”

    The man’s face filled with anger as he swung his massive cape around his face. Unfortunately, the cape also caught one of his stilt legs and he came crashing to the ground.

    “Uhhhhh! I got the wind knocked out of me! Uhhhh!” the man yelled, clutching at his chest.

    He ripped open his dress shirt to reveal a Charlotte Hornets jersey.

    “Holy shit!” the boys yelled in unison.

    What happens next? Stay tuned.

    Highlights include: All-star; Justin Tenorlake; Mr. Butterworth; Christmas Badass; Niche-talgia; Connections; Creepin on a Duff; Grenade Gloves; Richie Rich; Veepin; American Murder Crew; It’s a joke, fuck you; Anonymous; Benji adds a lot; Crankyankers

    1 hr 34 min
  • Ep. 002 - Sum 41 "Fat Lip"
    Cameron, Memphis and John entered the brightly-colored tent. When the flap fell back into place, the boys were met with total darkness.
    They walked forward fanning out left, right and center. Their footsteps were muffled by some sort of astroturf.
    "Do you guys hear that? It sounds like gears grinding," Memphis whispered.
    "Who just touched my ass?!" John yelled, swinging his fists wildly in the dark.
    Cameron took out his phone and attempted to switch on the flashlight but the screen remained black.
    "That's weird. My phone's not working. There must be some kind of jammer in here."
    "Yeah or your phone just sucks," Memphis scoffed, taking out his own phone. "Shit, mine's not working either."
    "Seriously, which one of you fucking touched my ass?" John yelled.
    Just then the vast room exploded with light and a familiar riff began.
    "Oh shit! Is that Fat Lip?" Cameron exclaimed as his eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness. " Is Sum 41 here?"
    "I don't think so," Memphis said slowly. His eyes were transfixed on the center of the room where a large stage arose.
    Atop the stage were animatronic bears dressed in 2000s pop-punk fashion. Dyed hair. Lip rings. Guyliner. The works.
    As the lead bear crudely mouthed "Storming through the party like my name was El Niño," the boys suddenly heard a voice behind them.
    "Welcome, gentleman."
    Who is this? Stay tuned.
    Highlights include: Dumb names; Raw Cones; Basically Jackass; Buzzy D draining threes; Greeeg; Great story; Infinite money; All American Pie; Gallagher Slammed; Hotdog Hot Water; Avril Levine: The Only Woman in Canada; Derryck's Drinking Failure; Marrying up; Return of the Mack; Dead Air; Great Cover; Skirmarkin up and down the block; High School Hero; Jiminy Cricket; Old Unreliable; Temple of Doom
    1 hr 38 min
  • Ep. 001 - Green Day "American Idiot"
    Pop Punk The Aughts Episode 1: American Idiot
    The boys eased the van into the parking lot and slowly got out. Cameron, John and Memphis stood before a towering bright green and orange circus tent. Scrawled in the banner above the entrance were the words "Punx Rawk!" with a little anarchy symbol in place of the A.
    "You sure this is the place?" John asked, looking around. "There aren't any people."
    "Yeah, this is the address Blink Stinkson gave us." Cameron replied, pulling out his phone. "I guess I could tex--whoa. You guys have service? My phone has negative four bars."
    Memphis, who had been examining the asphalt near the van, checked his phone as well.
    "Yeah, I got nothing. Does this look like blood to you guys?" Memphis asked, pointing at a large stain on the tarmac.
    Before either of the other two could answer, there was a loud boom followed by a swirl of smoke emerging from the tent entrance. A dark cackle beckoned them.
    "Step right up boys! We're only in town one night and one night only! This is your chance to see ALL the greatest pop-punk acts from 2000 to 2009 and the best part is: IT'S ALL FREE!"
    The voice trailed off into more laughter as the boys looked at each other.
    "This seems like a bad idea," John said.
    "Yeah, probably," Cameron replied, locking the van with the key fob. "But I didn't take the day off work to play it safe."
    The boys approached the tent and stepped inside. What awaits them? Stay tuned.
    Highlights include: Pop or Punk; Drop a Dook; Sherminator; Gilman Street Geeks; Steven Seagull; Sellouts; A Mighty Dick; Woodstock Ninety-Bore; Shootin' kids; Good Riddance to Bad Songs; Masters of the Screwed-niverse; Fear Factor ruined America; A Pipeline to Walmart; Broadway Bros; YEAH BABY: Sea bass; Jingoistic; SCUT; Kutcher'd
    1 hr 49 min
  • Pop Punk The Aughts Trailer
    Hey y'all! Are you ready to jump back into that way-back machine? This time we're taking you to the Golden Age of Pop-Punk! Nooo, not the mid 90s. We're talking 2000-2009. The Aughts baby. Back when the term pop-punk was heavily commercialized and slapped on whatever radio-friendly band had the teensiest amount of edge. In this nine-part series, we'll take you on a rollercoaster ride from veteran punkers turned soft to basically boy bands with guitars! Will we finally prove that age-old adage that Pop-Punk killed the Nu-Metal star? Stay tuned.
    3 min
  • ROTR Presents: Riffin' On The Rock Vol. 4
    It's Riffin' On the Rock Volume 4!! We promise a new series is on the way but until then enjoy us scoffing at Spin magazine's list of the 30 Best NüMetal songs! We also mention that Dan Sur guy who got gold chains implanted in his head. Super cool!
    54 min

About Rippin' on the Rock: A Rock N Lol Podcast

From the publisher's feed

We are a comedy podcast that pokes fun at popular rock music. A nostalgia trip of sorts, we focus on bands around the year 2000 (give or take a few years).