RO-MANSPLAINING

We reveal the truth about Sadie Hawkins and it's worse than we thought, the movie really starts to diverge from the book, Mike Newton is full of fiber, we learn more about Adam's Footloose high school and his sad senior banquet, sometimes non-regional dialects are in the eye of the beholder, Adam is giving free advertising, Adam protected Leslie from the worst part of Fishey's death, Leslie gets a new biological noise, we give Keanu a Sophie's choice, Edward summons his inner Fonz, and  Eddie Mecca is our Kevin Bacon.

We reveal the truth about Sadie Hawkins and it's worse than we thought, the movie really starts to diverge from the book, Mike Newton is full of fiber, we learn more about Adam's Footloose high school and his sad senior banquet, sometimes non-regional dialects are in the eye of the beholder, Adam is giving free advertising, Adam protected Leslie from the worst part of Fishey's death, Leslie gets a new biological noise, we give Keanu a Sophie's choice, Edward summons his inner Fonz, and  Eddie Mecca is our Kevin Bacon.

Adam doesn't know basic biology, we call on Dr. Dawn to weigh in, we unpack why women get excited over mystery and being ignored, Leslie was a weirdo trapped in a cheerleader body, Adam lists all of Leslie's friends by name, we go back in time to 19 years ago this week when Adam was wooing Leslie, we don't know who Sadie Hawkins is, we go on a Karate Kid tangent, men with self-control are very sexy, and Bella and Edward are going on a date.

Lexi Smelch brings some things to our attention, the history of "good enough for government work," Leslie does some math to find out Forks' actual diversity, La Croy or La Quah, we explore Adam's genes and his hatred of his name, Moe Welch would not be married to Leslie, we get a peek inside the terrorscape of Leslie's imagination, Leslie points out an issue with the timeline of the movie and discovers she should have been running ops for the CIA, Adam knows all the worst parts of the bible, Bella gets a new name, Adam gives Edward some good communication advice, we coin the phrase "face down in the muffin," and meet America's favorite family: Ken and Barbie Brown.

We have a special guest, this is one of Leslie's favorite chapters, Adam could easily stop a car with his obesity, Adam considered giving Paula Deen just the tip of his butter stick, we go deep into Mere's biggest regret from her modeling phase, Bella gets a spine, Adam shares his rapture freak out moments from his childhood, and we end on a Grateful Dead tangent.

Adam totally misinterprets what's in the little bottles that the Forks Santa gave away, the diversity in Forks comes into question, morbid obesity is all relative, Charlie goes for an early morning tire run, Bella is good at slipping on ice, being breathy is not good acting, Leslie is all about snuba when she's on the land, we discover a funny nuance in the background of a scene, there's a season 3 suggestion, and the movie says that girls can science good.

Adam doesn't remember the Moonlight Gambler, Leslie slips into her Toledo accent too many times, we go deep into step-dad talk which ends uncomfortably, Adam gets a point, Italians and Brits name their kids Gerald, we find out what it sounds like when middle aged authors use pop culture quotes from their own teen years, there really is a Thriftway in Forks, small towns really don't like strangers, Edward is back and his voice is musical, girls can't science, laughing at an almost-accident is a dick move.

Adam describes eyelet lace and has issues with his keyboard, we delve into problems with Bella's "adultness," getting details on dads, Adam educates us on how they modify cop cars, everyone has an "old truck with a hole in the floor" experience, we get some diversity, more car talk, we negotiate the rules about ugly people in movies, Edward and his velvet voice are introduced.