RO-MANSPLAINING

Leslie adds to her notes for divorce court, there's a chair on the roof, Pizza Hut was kind of the best in the 80s, Harry Clearwater makes some good fish fry, the Spanish Inquisition is not a good comparison to a parent asking their daughter questions.

Adam's mustache adventures border on very un-PC, we wonder why Charlie never left Forks, we discuss Stephenie Meyer's follow-up catalogue, we contemplate the intentions of bouncing from Edward to the male manicurist, we are left wondering "what's going to happen with these vamps?" Adam begs for some undies.

You make my dreams come true, Leslie hates music, Kelsey's mom was single-handedly responsible for New Coke, Leslie listened to waaay too many episodes of David Dobrik and Jason Nash's podcast, we give ourselves sponsors, Leslie's mom created a dance move called the digger.

Adam continues to try to escape, we talk about hot cars in the 90s, the podcast takes a dark turn, Leslie shares her vegetarian-astrology theory, polyphasic sleeping can get you in trouble, Adam gives waaay TMI, we are approaching Adam's favorite part of the book--thunder feel the thunder!

Our Hall and Oates tangent continues, Leslie tries to pinpoint why she's not 100% attracted to Joseph Gordon-Levitt, we learn about how to sneak into a guy's bedroom window, Adam's sheltered upbringing made him into a kind person, Leslie gets a point, Bella makes another bad clothing choice, we kind of learn the history of the Church of England, Carlisle is an old vampire.

We make a time bargain to keep this episode under 20 minutes, we get to know about the other vampires, we wonder why vampires think it's a good idea to go to high school, Adam gets nit picky about Leslie's paraphrasing and tries to stop her from talking about the book, we do some laundry, Adam fails his way to the top of sound effect usage.

It is never a good idea to imitate Samuel T. Herring of Future Islands at the barber shop, Leslie pulls out a Louis Armstrong impression to impress, Adam continues to express how this book is really getting in the way of his good times, sometimes breath smells really good.

Edward's split personality continues to confuse, we announce a new podcast, we get a special guest in the studio who confirms that breath can smell good and Adam smells bad, we finally pass the halfway point.

We get a bad phone call, Adam continues to beg for reviews, the Pepsi challenge caused some tiffs, we plan to make a new soda, Adam makes another lucky guess, it turns out Adam hates a phrase, Edward goes rooting around in Bella's dirty laundry.

There is too much sniffing and laying, Rhonda ruins the fantasy, Leslie was a perfect, precious angel when Adam met her, we find a name for a potential adopted kid.

Leslie has gone through phases of punctuality, Ki-Jana Carter ordered a cheesesteak from Leslie, Adam is nice not noice, Edward and Bella are out kinda like Adam and Leslie when they starting dating, we discover an opportunity the filmmakers missed.

Camille would need a soaking tub of sunscreen if she lived in Arizona, Leslie's favorite extra plays prominently in this scene, Adam might be turning into Tony Clifton, Leslie might be Norman Wexler, we find out what it takes to become a vampire in the Twilight universe, dickies are not intimidating, Adam's office might have a gas leak that makes Leslie yawn, Adam gives us a titbit, another #boneralert, light as a feather stiff as a board, Adam was born and raised on the pond.

Adam is a feminist, we go deep into the thickness of air, Leslie discovers how to survive the DC summer soup, Ol' Ben Kenobi never really earned Luke's love, Leslie drops some love knowledge, Adam confesses his elaborate plan to stalk Leslie if she ever leaves him.

This chapter is dedicated to Edward avoiding insta-love, we meet Billy Black, there are three typos in Leslie's book, Leslie's lyme disease from tick removal escalated quickly, Adam describes his first trip on the DC Metro, Adam is a bandwagon Keanu fan.

Adam still doesn't understand premature ejaculation, Adam keeps his search history clear, Leslie loses a point, Adam claims he can rip trees from the earth, Adam's experience with the Twilight universe intersects with Office Space, Gram's need for cash takes us on a shirtless adventure that ends with some great advice, fake flowers adorn the meadow, Gram resurrects a plant with paint.

Adam might get Leslie banned from working from home on Fridays, Adam's obsession with Total Eclipse of the Heart continues to annoy everyone, drinking out of the carton is narsty, the technology of making sandwiches on cutting boards changes lives.

We wander off-track on a mononucleosis tangent that starts in Germany and ends at the drive-in, Leslie lays out her preferred future-scape, we have an episode of "Go outside," Twilight was a terrible mistake, Leslie's grandfather coins a family phrase, Adam has Leslie contractually bound to this relationship, Adam is picky about putting things in his mind palace, Cougar alert!