Laura is headed to Cannes and may or may not accidentally end up in White Lotus season 4, the Solidcore guy somehow gets even weirder, and the JP Morgan “cannons” lawsuit continues to spiral into one of the funniest workplace scandals on the internet.

This week, we get into:

• Men paying for fake cauliflower ear surgery
• Robert Pattinson getting ghosted by his own stalker
• Elon Musk losing his OpenAI lawsuit
• The scientifically hottest male dance moves
• Catholic school “mixers”
• A law associate asking if hanging an original Picasso in his office is too obnoxious
• Whispering Angel rosé discourse
• Why women absolutely do NOT want fake cage fighter ears

Plus: ringworm in the Bahamas, White Lotus filming chaos, and the return of “leave room for Jesus.”