The boys attempt to mediate a Pink Floyd peace treaty, hire a team of outside writers to stay relevant, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Ozzy’s Grammy winning title track, “Patient Number 9.”

The boys stubbornly refuse to discuss the 2023 Rock Hall nominations, offset cocaine induced hearing loss with reverb, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Prince’s 1984 sex fiend serenade, “Darling Nikki”

The boys offer unsolicited financial advice to rock stars, shame Phil Anselmo into taking an online cultural sensitivity course, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Butthole Surfers’ 1996 slacker rock hit, “Pepper.”

The boys share more bad news, make ridiculously unfounded claims about Dolly Parton, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Rammstein’s 1997 slab of German industrial metal, “Du Hast.”

The boys discuss the sudden losses of Jeff Beck and Lisa Marie Presley, prop Ozzy Osbourne up for an ill-conceived return to reality TV, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Huey Lewis and the News’ 1984 power pop rock anthem, “The Heart of Rock & Roll.”

The boys cancel their subscriptions to Rolling Stone, debate the intent of voluptuous voyeurism, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Queen’s 1978 rotund rock hit, “Fat Bottomed Girls.”

The boys pair red backwards baseball caps w/cheap rented tuxedos, attend The Poddys awards gala, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Limp Bizkit’s 2000 nu metal rap rock hit, “Rollin’ (Air Raid Vehicle).”

The boys light the holiday ham candle, celebrate the season by sharing a few of their favorite Christmas songs, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of AC/DC’s 1990 randy reindeer rocker, “Mistress for Christmas.”

The boys sexualize baking ingredients, get lap dances at the Back Bar, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Def Leppard’s 1987 pop rock hit, “Pour Some Sugar On Me.”

The boys count on one, extend 100,000 Years, & wax philosophic about Peter Criss, paradiddles, polyrhythms, Peart, & other percussive pontifications.