Sima Zhao takes the emperor on a buddy road trip to put down another insurgence in a particularly troublesome part of the kingdom.

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Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 143.

Last time, Sima Zhao was secretly entertaining thoughts of usurping the throne, but that stirred up a rebellion in the southeastern corner of the kingdom of Wei, led by the general Zhuge Dan (4). Zhuge Dan (4) also asked for and received help from the kingdom of Wu, so now he set himself to preparing for a showdown against Sima Zhao.

Meanwhile, a memorial that Zhuge Dan had sent to the emperor arrived in the Wei capital. This memorial was a justification for Zhuge Dan’s rebellion, and it included a long laundry list of Sima Zhao’s offenses. Sima Zhao was naturally ticked off and wanted to go put down this upstart himself. But his adviser Jia Chong (1) said, “My lord, you have inherited your father and brother’s work, but your own virtue and kindness have yet to be felt throughout the realm. If you leave the capital and the emperor now, something might happen at court, and it will be too late for regrets. Why don’t you have the empress dowager and the emperor accompany you on your campaign. That will ensure nothing goes wrong.”

Now, it made sense to take the emperor along since, after all, he was the symbol of authority. But the empress dowager? Really? Well, remember how Sima Zhao’s own father seized power at court. While the then emperor was out of the capital, Sima Yi went to the empress dowager and basically forced her to give his coup her blessings. So Sima Zhao was not going to take any chances. He went and told the empress dowager, “Zhuge Dan is rebelling. Your servant and the other officials have discussed the matter and decided that we must ask you and his majesty to personally lead a campaign against the rebels.”

The empress dowager was of course afraid of Sima Zhao, so she had no choice but to tag along. The next day, Sima Zhao told the emperor Cao Mao (2) that he needed to come along for the campaign. Cao Mao said, “Regent-marshal, you command all of our troops and you may deploy them as you see fit. What need is there for me to go in person?”

“Not so,” Sima Zhao replied. “Our kingdom’s founding emperor Cao Cao marched across the realm. His successors Cao Pi and Cao Rui also possessed the will to defend the state and the ambition to conquer the entire realm. Whenever there was a strong enemy, they always personally led the campaign. Your majesty should follow their example and sweep clean the rebels instead of worrying about your own safety.”

Well, Cao Mao was very much worried about his own safety, not so much from rebels in the provinces but from his own regent-marshal. So he acquiesced. Sima Zhao now gave the order to mobilize 260,000 men. He appointed the general Wang Ji (1) as the vanguard and began marching south.

 

As Sima Zhao’s vanguard approached, he ran into the vanguard of the army that the kingdom of Wu had sent to help Zhuge Dan. The Wu vanguard general Zhu Yi (4) came out to take on the Wei vanguard general Wang Ji (1). After just three bouts, Zhu Yi (4) fell back in defeat. His lieutenant then tried his luck, and he also fell back in defeat after three bouts.

Oh look: Another Northern campaign by the kingdom of Shu. Yawn.

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Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 142.

Last time, Jiang Wei marched north once again with visions of conquering the kingdom of Wei. His first battle went exceedingly well. He routed Wang Jing (1), the imperial protector of Yong (1) Province, sending Wang Jing fleeing into the town of Didao (2,4). But as Jiang Wei prepared to advance, one of his generals, Zhang Yi (4), suggested that they should quit while they were ahead. As you can imagine, that did not sit well with Jiang Wei.

“In the past, even when we have lost, we still aimed to advance and march across the Heartlands,” he said. “Today, after our victory at the River Tao (2), the enemy has lost their nerve. In my estimation, the town of Didao (2,4) is ours for the taking. Stop discouraging yourself!”

Zhang Yi (4) tried time and again to advise against continuing the campaign, but Jiang Wei refused to listen and instead marched to Didao (2,4).

 

Meanwhile, the other leader of the Wei defenses in the area, the general Chen Tai (4), was just about to mobilize his troops to avenge Wang Jing’s defeat when he got a visitor. It was the general Deng Ai, the imperial protector of Yan (3) Province who had arrived with reinforcements on the orders of Sima Zhao.

Chen Tai asked Deng Ai if he had any ideas for how to do that, Deng Ai said, “After the enemy’s victory at the River Tao (2), if they had called on the Qiang tribes and contested the eastern part of the area, that would spell trouble for us. But right now, that’s not what they’re thinking. Instead, they are going after Didao (2,4). That town’s walls are strong and cannot be taken quickly. The enemy is wasting energy. I’m going to deploy my troops at Xiangling (4,2) and attack. That will defeat the enemy for sure.”

Chen Tai loved that plan, so he first sent out 20 squadrons of 50 men each. These men carried banners, drums, horns, and fire-starting materials. They traveled by the dark of the night and hid in the hills to the southeast of Didao (2,4). When the Shu forces approach, these men were to start beating their drums, blowing their horns, and if it’s at night, they were to light fires and set off explosives, all in a show designed to cause panic in the enemy. Chen Tai and Deng Ai then each set out with 20,000 men.

 

Meanwhile, Jiang Wei had been laying siege to Didao (2,4) for days but could not take the city. He was getting concerned but also couldn’t come up with any ideas. One evening, around dusk, several urgent dispatches from his scouts reported that two armies, bearing the banners of the Wei generals Chen Tai and Deng Ai, were heading this way.

Jiang Wei was alarmed and consulted Xiahou Ba. Xiahou Ba said, “I’ve mentioned to you in the past that Deng Ai has been well-versed in military strategy since his youth and knows the terrain well. Now that he’s coming this way, he will be a tough opponent.”

Jiang Wei responded, “He has traveled a great distance to get here. I’m going to strike before he can catch his breath.”

So Jiang Wei left the general Zhang Yi in charge of continuing the siege on the town and ordered Xiahou Ba to go face Chen Tai, while he himself went to take on Deng Ai. But he had not gone two miles when suddenly, an explosive sounded from the southeast,

We say so long to the novel’s pivotal player and wonder if he was really the genius the book made him out to be.

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“You know, you two would’ve been nothing without me.”

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Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is a supplemental episode.

So this is a huge one. In this episode, we bid farewell to the novel’s most prominent character, Zhuge Liang, by examining the similarities and differences between the real-life man and his fictional counterpart.

So in the novel, when we are first introduced to Zhuge Liang, he was in his late 20s and had already taken up residence in the countryside of Jing Province, leading the life of a recluse. But what about his life before that? We’re not really told much about Zhuge Liang before his meeting with Liu Bei, so let’s delve into that pre-history right now.

According to the historical records, Zhuge Liang was a native of Xu (2) Province. He was born in the year 181, about three years before the outbreak of the Yellow Turban Rebellion, which marked the beginning of the novel. His father was a low-level county official in Yan (3) Province. So Zhuge Liang’s roots were in the territories that would eventually become part of the kingdom of Wei (4).

Zhuge Liang’s father died in the year 187, when Zhuge Liang was just 6 years old. Now, remember that Zhuge Liang was the middle son. He had two brothers and two sisters, and they all needed a caretaker now that their father was dead.

That caretaker turned out to be their uncle, who was in the service of Liu Biao (3), the imperial protector of Jing Province. This uncle moved to Xu Province to watch over Zhuge Liang and his siblings. A few years later, Cao Cao launched his invasion of Xu Province in search of vengeance after an officer under the imperial protector of that province had killed Cao Cao’s father. To flee the ravages of war, Zhuge Liang’s uncle packed up all his nieces and nephews and moved them South. All, that is, except for Zhuge Liang’s elder brother Zhuge Jin. Zhuge Jin was 7 years older than Zhuge Liang, and he was in his 20s at this point, so he struck out on his own, moving to the Southlands, where he became a key adviser for the ruling Sun family.

Zhuge Liang’s uncle was then recommended for the governorship of a city by the warlord Yuan Shu, and he served in that post for a short time before being replaced. After that, he returned to the service of Liu Biao, so he brought Zhuge Liang and his younger siblings to the Jing Province city of Xiangyang (1,2). Not long after that, in the year 197, this uncle died, so Zhuge Liang, now at the ripe old age of 16, became the de facto head of his household.

He moved the family to the nearby countryside, in the county of Nanyang (2,2), where he farmed by day, studied by night, and became good friends with some of the well-known scholars in the area. One of those acquaintances was Sima Hui (1), aka Master Water Mirror, the guy who in the novel was the first to hint to Liu Bei about the existence of a great talent in the area. Another acquaintance was Pang (2) Degong (2,1), the uncle of Young Phoenix, aka Pang Tong. A third literary friend was Huang (2) Chenyan (2,4), who would actually become Zhuge Liang’s father in law.

There’s actually a bit of a story about how Zhuge Liang came to take Huang (2) Chenyan’s (2,4) daughter as wife. So when Zhuge Liang decided that it was time to marry, he started looking at various potential matches. Huang Chenyan told him, “Hey,

A couple generals down South stir up trouble for Sima Shi. Now if only their forces knew the way to his camp ….

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Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 141.

Last time, Sima Shi had sniffed out a conspiracy to move against him and his brother, and he promptly purged all the officials involved, but he didn’t stop there. He also deposed the Wei emperor who authorized the plot, replacing him with a new puppet. Well, such actions were bound to have consequences, and one of those consequences was brewing in Yang (2) Province along the southeastern borders of the kingdom.

The commander of the troops in Yang Province, a man named Wu (2) Qiujiang (1,3), decided that he could not abide by Sima Shi’s actions. So he consulted with the imperial protector of the province, a man named Wen (2) Qin (1). He invited Wen Qin (1) to a banquet in his private quarters. As they were exchanging chit chat, Wu Qiujian (1,3) began weeping nonstop, prompting Wen Qin to ask what was up.

“Sima Shi has usurped power and deposed our lord,” Wu Qiujian said. “Heaven and earth have been turned upside down. How can I not be heartbroken?!”

Well, he was talking to the right guy. This Wen Qin’s former master was Cao Shuang, the guy that Sima Shi’s father Sima Yi had executed on trumped-up treason charges in a power grab. So Wen Qin was all too happy for an opportunity to stick it to the Sima clan. He said to Wu Qiujian, “Commander, if you are going to wage war on the traitors in the name of honor, then I shall risk my life to help you. My middle son Wen Yang (1) has unrivaled valor and has often wanted to kill the Sima brothers to avenge Cao Shuang. He can serve as the vanguard.”

Delighted, Wu Qiujian swore an oath with Wen Qin. The two then concocted a justification for their uprising, claiming that the empress dowager had sent them a secret decree. With that excuse, they summoned all the officers in the region to Shouchun, the main city in the area. They erected an altar, where they slaughtered a white horse and swore an oath on its blood, declaring that Sima Shi was a traitor and that they were answering a secret decree from the empress dowager by mobilizing all the forces of the region to bring the traitors to justice. All those present swore their allegiance. Wu Qiujian then mobilized 60,000 men and occupied the city of Xiangcheng (4,2), while Wen Qin led a roaming army of 20,000 to serve as reinforcement. They also sent word to the surrounding counties, ordering them to send troops to help the cause.

 

Word of this rebellion soon reached the Wei capital Luoyang, and it came at a rather inopportune time for Sima Shi. He had developed a tumor in his left eye, and it would hurt off and on, so he consulted a physician and decided to have the tumor removed. After the surgery, they sealed up his left eye with medicine and he was recuperating at home when he got news of the rebellion. Sima Shi consulted with Wang (2) Su (4), the grand commandant.

Wang Su (4) said to Sima Shi, “Back when Guan Yu was at the height of his prowess, Sun Quan ordered Lü Meng to launch a sneak attack on Jing Province. Lü Meng treated the families of Guan Yu’s soldiers very well, and that caused Guan Yu’s army to dissolve. Right now, the families of the men in the rebel army are all in the Heartlands.

Jiang Wei’s Northern invasion meets the same fate as Zhuge Liang’s, while Sima Shi borrows a few pages from Cao Cao’s playbook for how to deal with imperial puppets who don’t know their place.

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Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 140.

Last time, Jiang Wei had launched another invasion of the North, and Sima Zhao was sent to stop him. Sima Zhao did a pretty bad job of it, losing his top general and getting himself trapped on Iron Cage Mountain, a tight spot with just one road down from the top, and that was being blocked by Jiang Wei. At the top of the mountain, Sima Zhao and his 6,000 men were relying a small spring for water, but that spring could only sustain about 100 people.

Seeing his men suffering from thirst and his only escape route blocked, Sima Zhao looked up to the heavens and sighed, “I am going to die here!”

One of his staffers now said, “Long ago, Geng (3) Gong (1), a great general of the Eastern Han, was trapped, but he prayed to a well, and a sweet spring flowed from it. Why not try that?”

Well, it’s not like Sima Zhao had any other ideas, so prayer it was. He went to the small spring at the top of the mountain and prayed:

“I came on imperial decree to repel the Shu forces. If it is destined that I should die, then let this spring dry up, and I will slit my own throat and allow my men to surrender. But if my allotted time is not yet up, then I pray that heaven will soon bless me with a sweet spring so that we can save all my men!”

As soon as he finished this prayer, water started spouting out from the spring nonstop. So, I guess heaven has other plans for Sima Zhao.

Meanwhile, at the foot of the mountain, Jiang Wei figured he had Sima Zhao right where he wanted. He told his officers, “One of my great regrets in life is that the late prime minister was not able to capture Sima Yi when he had him trapped at Shangfang (4,1) Gorge. But today, I am going to capture Sima Zhao for sure.”

But remember that Sima Zhao was not the only Wei contingent in the area. The general Guo Huai was also around, and when he got word that Sima Zhao had been trapped, he wanted to lead a relief force to Iron Cage Mountain. But his second-in-command, the general Chen Tai (4), said, “Jiang Wei formed an alliance with the Qiang tribes with an eye toward taking the city of Nan’an (2,1) first. The Qiang have arrived. If you redeploy your troops now, the Qiang would no doubt attack us from the rear. You should first send someone to pretend to defect to the Qiang and defeat them from within. Once that’s done, then we can go lift the siege at Iron Cage Mountain.”

Guo Huai agreed and sent Chen Tai at the head of 5,000 men to go carry out his own plan. So Chen Tai went to see the king of the Qiang people, whereupon he took off his armor, entered the king’s tent, and wept, saying, “Guo Huai is too full of himself and has often wanted to kill me, so I have come to surrender to you. I know everything about Guo Huai’s army. I am willing to lead a raid on his camp tonight. Success is guaranteed. When you and your army arrive at the Wei camp, I will be there to help you from the inside.”

The king of the Qiang was delighted and ordered his top commander to go with Chen Tai on this night ...