Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

By The Irish Times

The weekly Ross o'Carroll-Kelly column in audio, read by Paul Howard.

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· Comedy

4.8

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FAQs about Ross O'Carroll-Kelly:

How many episodes does Ross O'Carroll-Kelly have?

The podcast currently has 555 episodes available.

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly episodes:

August 15, 2025 ‘I think you should have a conversation with Honor about her drinking,’ Sorcha goes
So – yeah, no – we’re in the cor, on the way to the airport, to collect Honor, who’s coming home from her Leaving Cert holiday in, believe it or not, Magaluf.
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6min
August 08, 2025 ‘I got thrun out of Amedica,’ Ronan goes. ‘Me visa was revoked’
So I’m walking around town with Ronan and – yeah, no – we’re playing a game we used to play when he was, like, eight years old: when we pass a shop or restaurant, he tells me whether it’s a real business or a money-laundering front.
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8min
August 01, 2025 When Honor drops the news, I sit there with my mouth open like someone from Roscommon seeing escalators for the first time
Sorcha tells Honor that she’s leaving it very late.

Honor’s like, “What are you talking about?”

And Sorcha goes, “I’m talking about the debs, Honor.”

Honor’s there, “Not this again,” and she’s right because her old is like a dog with a chew toy.
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6min
July 25, 2025 The old dear made a seating plan for her own funeral. She didn’t want ugly people in the first three pews
Sorcha says I can’t wear those.

And I’m like, “My Dubes? What’s wrong with my Dubes?”

She goes, “You can’t wear Dubes to a funeral, Ross. Put a pair of actual shoes on.”
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7min
July 18, 2025 I get this sudden flashback to when I was six or seven and I’d hold the wheel steady for the old dear while she drove home, half-cut
“Okay,” the old man goes, “here’s another one you, Kicker!” because – yeah, no – he’s written a book of his Fifty Years of Letters to The Irish Times, which Honor has helped pull together for him. “Listen to this one! Dear Madam. Whilst sorting through the vegetable tower in the kitchen the other morning, I discovered an oval-shaped tuber with a pale yellow flesh. Is this a record?”

No one laughs – except him, of course?
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7min
July 11, 2025 The old dear goes, ‘Sorcha? I don’t know anyone of that name. Is she one of your tarts, Ross?’
The room is absolutely rammers and through the door I spot so many faces from the past. We’re talking Angela and Dermot from the campaign to move Funderland to the northside. We’re talking Ida and Clem from the campaign to stop the Luas from coming to Foxrock. We’re talking Lucy and Aednat from the campaign to stop poor people being allowed into the National Gallery.
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7min
July 04, 2025 Oisinn goes, ‘Dude, you’re saying goodbye. You do realise that? You’re saying goodbye to your old dear’
“What the fock?” Oisinn goes. “Are you serious?”

I’m there, “Oh, I’m serious all right. I’m as serious as – well, you know what.”

He goes, “A living funeral? Where did this idea even come from?"
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6min
June 27, 2025 Brett goes, ‘She’s close to the end, Ross. I was thinking we should arrange a living funeral for her’
“He must have been in a fight last night,” Sorcha goes.

And – yeah, no – she’s talking about my brother slash half-brother, Brett.

I’m there, “Why do you say he was in a fight?”

And she goes, “Oh my God, didn’t you see the bruises on his neck when he came home this morning?”

Seriously, sometimes it’s like she was never young at all.
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7min
June 20, 2025 I’m always telling Sorcha to tone down the southside when we come out to Bray but she never listens
I’m like, “Bray?”

And Sorcha’s there, “Yes, Ross – Bray!”

I’m like, “But why do we have to go to Bray?” sounding like a spoiled child – in other words, one of ours.

irishtimes.com
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7min
June 13, 2025 ‘I haven’t really been living before now,’ Brett tells his wife. ‘Ross has slept with more than 800 women’
So it’s, like, ridiculous o’clock on a Saturday morning – we’re talking nine, ten, something like that – and I hear a ring on the front doorbell, followed, a short time later, by the sound of a woman’s voice going, “Is this the home of Ross O’Carroll-Kelly?”

irishtimes.com
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7min

FAQs about Ross O'Carroll-Kelly:

How many episodes does Ross O'Carroll-Kelly have?

The podcast currently has 555 episodes available.