Roving Reporter Cracklin Jane broadcasts from the International Parade of Rhythm. Specialists from every corner of creation are lined up ready to march past for your aural inspection. We even visit one of those factories in which gigantic parade balloons are manufactured.

We are broadcasting today from the Bird Sanctuary on the grounds of the Round the World Castle. Get out your binoculars because we are going to take a close look not only at the birds that hang around here all year, but the ones we are welcoming back from their winter vacations.

We spend a diversionary evening at the Round the World Casino, featuring poker, dice, billiards, a numbers racket, and a free all-you-can-eat buffet. We also sneak into the secret back room to listen in on the personal travails of the Gambler’s Anonymous participants convened there. Now remember, to please keep the names of any of the Gambler’s Anonymous presenters a closely held secret.

We bring you, as a public service, the color Green, in the guise of the wonders of spring and summer in the mountains, fields and valleys; in the form of vitamin-packed green vegetables to fight Seasonal Affective Disorder; and we head into outer space where the moon itself turns green. We also ask our studio audience to go through their pockets to see who has the most unusual green object.

We have sent away for a Timebuster Rotary Telephone, which allows us to call anyone, alive or dead, as long as we have their phone number. We found the order blank in Castle Owner’s Quarterly. We invite you to eavesdrop on the ensuing conversations with deceased relatives and pets, with interregnums of 78 RPM splendor.

In which we embed with the Round the World Detective Agency – Missing Persons Division. We not only field calls from frantic family members, but assist in surveillance and apprehension, and get to the bottom of unexplained disappearances. All with our specially formulated 78 RPM Missing Persons Soundtrack.

We bring you today a Valentine garden party, taking place in the Rose Garden of the Round the World Castle. In addition to light beverages, delectable sandwiches and tiny biscuits, the waitstaff will roll out an ice cream buffet, and a marble chocolate fountain. We hope today’s festivity will serve as an adequate virtual substitute for Valentine’s Day this year. For your enjoyment we have 17 exotic Rose varieties, and each one will be exemplified by a fine musical selection.

We welcome you to the Round the World University of the Air. For your tuition-free intellectual stimulation, the musical matter we will be elucidating this hour is what is referred to as the Answer Song - a song written and recorded in answer to a previous song.

We have developed an answer song taxonomy and today’s lecture will offer glimpses into 8 different fascinating examples, in each case the original song, followed by an answer song which was developed later in response. So strap on your specially developed listening hats as we pour in knowledge related to this important matter.

From the Round the World news room, it’s time for some hard-hitting news, weather and sports. Among our top news stories this hour, we report on a train wreck, a case of stalking, and a barn burning down. We listen to our seasoned correspondents who are not afraid to ask the hard questions and report the real facts, bringing you Yesterday’s News - Today. We’ll get the weather and sports updates from a team of professionals and conclude with heart-warming good news human interest stories.

Is it time to turn our backs on the past, and look forward to the future with renewed hope for better days? Instead of sitting around hoping things get better, let’s take matters into our own hands by making some resolutions.

The past year has been especially challenging, so we asked you listeners to send in your new year’s resolutions, and we’ll also be listening to the new year’s sentiments of our celebrity panelists, who we have lined up in chronological order.