The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker line up for the Adjudication Panel. This week's agenda includes: the latest overblown Sky Sports punditry, Roberto Carlos finds himself in a Shropshire village pub, reviewing the debut crime thriller by Mesut Ozil's agent and, of course, Keys & Gray Corner.

Meanwhile, the panel establish the parameters for a team's goal to be "living a charmed life", disagree about bicycle kicks and undertake some forensic analysis of some historical Premier League olé-ing.