Russell Howard’s Five Brilliant Things

How did the F1 anchor cope when David Coulthard was so hungover he’s got a bucket between his legs just out of shot? When he was hosting the football, how badly was Jake reprimanded for jeering at the Ipswich fans from the commentary box?

Jake Humphrey from the High Performance podcast (and formerly of CBBC) is in the studio with Russell to wax lyrical about his Brilliant Things including the mud in Norfolk, Greylag Geese, his terrible A-level results and more and more and more. 

Jake’s podcast is the one you’ve most likely heard about - the super-successful High Performance podcast where he talks to people about their extraordinary achievements and lives and how they get to those places. Have a listen at https://www.thehighperformancepodcast.com

✨ Aaaand if you like all this that we do, then you can get it unemcumbered by advertisements, and get an extra show every week for a small monthly cost. Find out what an insane bargain it is by clicking here. ✨ 

End of message. Please don’t drop litter, and yes that means putting it in a hedge. Hedges have feelings too. Also if you’ve got a dog and you can’t pick up its poo, get it a nappy. It’s a small price to pay for clean streets and a funny stupid looking dog. 

Producer: Dan Atkinson

Line Producer: Daisy Knight

Exec Producer: James Taylor

Composer: Fat Lady Music

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Adam Buxton, the OG, the Podfather, king of all things Pod is here and he’s not just brought Five Brilliant Things - he’s also brought a load of nearly-ran Brilliant Things! 

Fascinating and funny as always, Adam takes us through why dinner is so important, how he’s unable to invent bedtime stories and which bird has a song like EDM. 

It’s just great! An hour with Adam just flies by and you will come out amused, invigorated and fresh, like a shower if it was funny.

📚 Adam has got a new book out! It’s called I love you Byeee and it’s all about his time making the Adam and Joe show and (this is a quote) ‘the drug hell that led me to nearly dying in the arms of a comedy legend’…

It’s the follow up to his Ramble Book, it will be excellent and you should get a copy now from this link here!  📚

📻 And of course, Adam does his weekly podcast which you can and should get in all your podcasts places. Here’s a link for the lazy-fingered amongst you. 📻 

✨ Aaaand if you like all this that we do, then you can get it unemcumbered by advertisements, and get an extra show every week for a small monthly cost. Find out what an insane bargain it is by clicking here. ✨ 

And that is all that nonsense. If you are still with me, congratulations, you are one of about four people in the world who stick to the end of the blurbs. It’s a real badge of honour and those other quitters don’t know what they are missing. It’s just us down here, me cranking out wordage and you, somehow addicted to this but at the same time wondering if it’s all a waste of time. Well it isn’t. Here, just for you hardy perennials, is a fun fact: Ketchup was originally sold as medicine.

There you go. Your reward for reading to the end. Bye!

Producer: Dan Atkinson

Line Producer: Daisy Knight

Exec Producer: James Taylor

Composer: Fat Lady Music

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From Rizzle Kicks it’s the fabulous Jordan Stephens, and his brilliant things are brilliantly wide-ranging. 

What’s the greatest ever TV show intro theme? The answer is in here, as well as some mind-expanding discussions about the profundity of vegetables. 🥦 Hell yeah. 

💿 Rizzle Kicks have recorded and released a new album which is called ‘Competition is for Losers’ and you can preview it or buy a copy here.  💿

🎤 They’ve also got some live shows coming up in 2025 and 2026 so to find out where they are playing and experience one of their incredible live gigs, check it all out here.  🎤

✍️ And as promised, here's also a link to Jordan's substack which is a great dose of weekly ideas - give it a go.

And in our extra show just for our Patreon crew, you asked some phenomenal questions that led to finding out more about Rizzle Kicks break up and reforming, and a fascinating insight into what it’s like to be an actor on the set of a huge Star Wars film (Jordan was!). It’s not all fun fun fun…

Click this link to join or find out more:

patreon.com/RussellHoward  

Thanks for being part of this blurb, I feel like we did this together, you and I. I mean I did most of the heavy lifting, typing away, thinking up new things for you to enjoy and you just made your eyes move slightly and then made sense of these squiggly lines we call letters and had your brain transform them into ideas and pictures…actually that’s pretty impressive when you think of it. Imagine describing that process to a slug it would have its slimy mind blown. Well done you. 

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Jeff, AKA Racist Grandad by the internet, is in the studio and his Five Brilliant Things are a wonderful trip across a rich and colourful life.

In case you’re not aware, Jeff is one of the UK comedy circuit’s top acts but for decades was unknown outside the clubs. Now, after all that time, he has become Insta-famous.

This wonderful episode of the show takes in 60s reggae record hunting, working on a dog track and the dos and don’ts of wearing a dead man’s silk pyjamas. 

Jeff has recorded his latest special and it’s on Youtube for all to enjoy. He is best tasted live, of course; to watch his Special and find links to get to Jeff’s live shows including future tours, you need to keep your eyes on https://www.jeffinnocent.com

And in our extra show just for our Patreon crew, Jeff tells the most astonishing story about the wildest behaviour of his youth. It’s a bit more strong flavoured than the main show this week but a fascinating, utterly absorbing story that has to be heard to be believed…

Click this link to join or find out more:

patreon.com/RussellHoward  

And now the moment we’ve all been waiting for, the obligatory over-long indulgent sign-off. The business is completed, and now almost as a point of spite you have to wade through this unnecessary punishment of words. Here you still are, reading on, maybe in the hope that at the end there will be a reward for your continued presence, your efforts. You’ve got an inkling that it will fade to nothing but you’re still here. That stupid part of your brain that contains hope is urging you to continue without stopping to consider what even could the reward be? What would be worth all this waste of time? Is there anything?

Reader: there was nothing.

Until next time.

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What is the rudest thing a therapist can do during a session? Kae Kurd found out and tells a belter of a story in this episode all about it.

This quite brilliant Brilliant Things takes in perverts watching Panda sex, it covers the beauty of Rottweilers and there’s even a bit of perineum sunning in there for good measure. 

Kae Kurd is a fantastic British-Kurdish comedian and gives incredible insight into what it’s like gigging around the UK had how he weaves his fascinating cultural heritage into his comedy.

🎤 Kae is going on tour in 2025. Over September, November and October he’ll be all over the UK’s theatres with his brand-new show ‘What’s O’Kurd’. 

You can get tickets and find all the dates at kaekurd.com  🎤

At that same place you can watch his last two specials in full for free, and you can get hold of his weekly podcast too. It’s all there. As you’d hope.

💥 If you’re enjoying this podcastness and you want it even podcastier, as in no adverts,  an exclusive extra show every week that you help to make, and getting it all a day early… all for less than the cost of one sandwich a month… then click here to find out more.  💥

And so the podcast word scribe closed his antiquated typewriter and made sure the submarine was still on course, doing one last upload for the week. He stared out of the dirty portholes at the murky darkness, hoping to see a passing crab or lantern fish but still nothing. It would be another nine years until he would see the surface again, he contemplated, but it was worth it in order to keep pumping quality content across the internet on a weekly basis. He grabbed his 5 Brilliant Things branded duvet, shuffled over to his bunk and slept a good long sleep.

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Russell gets his tarot reading live on the podcast! The guest this week is Emma Gannon, the the Sunday Times bestselling author judge for the prestigious 2025 Women's Prize. Between 2016-2023 she hosted Ctrl Alt Delete, one of Britain’s most successful industry podcasts. She is seen as many as the quintessential voice of the millennial generation.

Emma and Russell talk about fascinating areas of unlocking creativity, making time for all the things you want to do (can you have it all?) and singing nuns. A breezy brilliant hour of chat for you to enjoy while you’re walking in this glorious sunshine. If you’re reading this when it’s raining then just pretend. 

🍽️ Emma’s new novel ‘Table for One’ (which was discussed in the podcast) has just come out, and you can get that from all the best independent book places. You could go to a local bookshop, or just click here and order it now! 🍽️

⌨️ Emma’s hugely popular Substack newsletter ‘The Hyphen’ is a weekly dose of everything fascinating in Emma’s life and you can check that out here. ⌨️

✨ And if you’re finding that this is one of your regular podcast listens, then it makes sense to subscribe to our Patreon; not only do you get it without adverts, you also get an extra show with our guest where you, the listeners, set the questions. It’s a lot of fun. 

Also it’s only the price of one packet sandwich a month.

Click here to find out more. ✨

And with that, our unstoppable force meets the immovable object of the end of this week’s descriptions. What fun we had. The first paragraph was a trip, then we moved through some factual information, and ended up here at a sort of dribbling arse-end of a sign-off. Next week will be better, I promise you that. Something epic. See you here at the end, again, next time, for a real little treat for you my curious little blurb reader. 

TTFN

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Did Tom Kerridge save a chef’s life by putting him in a gigantic fridge? It’s quite possible. But why? It’s all in today’s culinary chinwag. 

Tom Kerridge brings his Five Brilliant Things, and as you might expect from a chef it takes in some of life’s extremes. There’s an incredible retelling of what it’s like to be on a racing car grid, and Tom’s tales of his old drinking days are the stuff of legend. Please do enjoy. 

Do you want to be just as good as Tom is at cooking perfect barbecue food? Well as luck would have it you can do just that. His new BBQ book is out now, ready for you to practise a little before impressing all your friends at the garden party/beach rave/prison yard. 

🔥🍖 It’s simply called ‘The BBQ book’ and you can get hold of a copy HERE. 🍖🔥

Otherwise, if you can get a table, and you’ve got a special occasion, Tom’s pubs serve some of the very best food in Britain. It’s worth doing at least once if you can get the money together some time.

In this week’s Patreon show our Patreon team came up with some excellent questions for Tom (‘Do you ever get bored with being asked how to cook the perfect Roast Potato?’) and Tom reveals which country has the best cuisine, and it’s maybe a surprising answer?

Please join us at Patreon by following the link here:

patreon.com/RussellHoward 

It’s a really excellent community of people and it’s genuinely great fun to come up with the interview questions together. Come in, the water’s lovely!

That’s all for today. Don’t forget to water your house plants, especially that one in the bathroom you always forget.

Ciao baby.

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It’s the Taskmaster’s Assistant, Alex Horne! And he’s here to tell his Brilliant things and as you would probably expect it’s a complete delight. 

Did you think birdwatching was boring? Guess again! Failing to see the majesty of the French Horn? Let Alex enlighten your ass!

Alex brings an array of delights in an episode that will fly by and leave you with that cosy feeling in your guts. I probably should have used a more poetic word than guts. That description really tailed off at the end there. Guts can ruin anything. Just listen to the damn episode and enjoy yourself. 

📕 Alex’s novel The Last Pebble (as mentioned on the podcast) is available to pre-order now here. It’s for teens but to be honest I bet it’s an excellent read whatever age you are. 📕

🎭 And of course you can watch Taskmaster, episodes new and old either at Channel 4 or you can feast on the best bits here. 🎭

✨ And please don’t forget you can get this whole podcast advert-free forever, and get access to our second weekly show, and get it all a day before everyone else… and for a very small amount. Click here to find out more. ✨

Thanks for joining us, we appreciate you, especially you who reads to the end of the blurb. What are you doing here? There’s nobody here but me and a small family of friendly yet hungry cockroaches. Get back to the real world. We’ll be fine. 

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What’s it like to be hunted by the son of a murderous Libyan dictator? Spoiler: it’s not a Brilliant Thing, but it is an incredible story from this week’s guest Spencer Matthews. 

There are tales of desert marathons, growing up on an island paradise and what it’s like when reality TV thrusts you into fame before you’re necessarily ready for it… A fascinating chat that goes in many interesting directions.

🏋️‍♀️ You can hear more of Spencer on his new weekly podcast Untapped, which he co-hosts with Jake Quickenden. The podcast explores how far you can push the human body. Whether it’s embracing fitness challenges, mastering new productivity hacks, or exploring lifestyle changes, Spencer and Jake will try it all, and share what truly makes a difference in their lives. 🏋️‍♀️

🎤 And Russell’s about to embark on a mini-European tour including live dates in Porto, Gibraltar, Berlin, Athens, Sofia and more - check out russell-howard.co.uk for dates and tickets. 🎤

✨ And if you are enjoying the podcast but get fed up with the adverts, you can get the whole thing advert-free forever, and get access to our second weekly show, and get it all a day before everyone else… and for a very small amount. Click here to find out more. ✨

Thanks for being you, keep being you until you can you no more. Byeeee. 

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Nina Conti, ventriloquist supreme, her with the monkey, is in the studio (no monkey) and chooses some incredible brilliant things (the density of an atom’s nucleus! The orange of the inside of an eyelid!). It’s a privileged ramble through the brain of an artist. Please enjoy.

🐵 Ninaontour.com is where you can find out about Nina's extended tour dates for Autumn 2025 including five dates at the Duke of York’s Theatre in London from April 29th. Get your tickets! 🐵

As mentioned on the podcast, Nina’s directorial debut film Sunlight is doing the rounds at film festivals. To keep up with that and find out where you can see it next keep your eyes on Ninaconti.net 

🐎 And this is a link to the John Mulaney routine, that Russell mentioned, about a Horse in a Hospital. Worth a listen for sure. 🐎

📻 And please give some serious consideration to enjoying this podcast in its natural form. No adverts, an extra weekly show and access to a community of many other like minded excellent people. Click here to find out more. 📻

And that’s the end. Let’s all do our best to make the next seven days life-changing and unbeatable. Let’s change the world. See you back here in a week for a debrief.

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