Sacrilegious Discourse - Bible Study for Atheists

Mordecai's Greatness.

This chapter is exactly three sentences long, and yep, it merely reiterates the fact that Mordecai is one bodacious humdinger of a man. Is this fact not written on the back of a Denny's menu? Probably.

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The Jews Destroy Their Enemies / The Feast of Purim.

The Avengers Assemble and kill like eleventy-krillion people across the nation. Then they go out for dinner to celebrate all the murdery vengeance. This holiday is still celebrated several centuries later because God loves a good retribution story dripping in needless bloodshed.

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Bible Study for Atheists Weekly is a collection of last week's episodes by Sacrilegious Discourse with Husband and Wife. This week's collection includes Esther Chapters 4 - 8, with Q&A.

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Husband and Wife cover questions about Esther the star-myrtle-river and her cousin-uncle-daddy-husband Mordecai. She was so beautiful that even the angels were compelled to give her a hand. A celestial being made the king's scepter become erect and then that angel pushed Haman's face right into Esther's crotch.

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The Jews Authorized to Resist.

Mordecai gains Haman's estate, as well as the king's precious ring. Xerxes authorizes Mordecai to delete his last Facebook post about killing all the Jews. Special fasty-fast horsies carry the message to all the towns, which scares a ton of folks into converting.

What do you call a horse who lives next door? A neeeeeighbor!

YOU'RE WELCOME.

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Haman Hanged.

In a surprising turn of fate, Esther finally makes her request — and throws Haman under the bus to give Xerxes an out. Kingy is all too happy for the chance to save face and obliges his wife's petition. Haman is so screwed, and we ain't even mad about it.

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Haman Forced to Honor Mordecai.

Xerxes is trying to go night-night, so his babysitter brings him his favorite teddy bear and some warm milk, then tucks him in under his baby blankee and reads him a bedtime story. That's how the kingy-dumplin learns that Mordecai saved his ass. Haman is super disappointed that he doesn't get to impale Mordecai after all. Wonder what's gonna happen at Esther's next shindig?

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Esther Invites the King and Haman to a Banquet.

Esther touches "just the tip" and gets to do The Big Ask. But it really feels like she is just procrastinating by throwing these guys some parties, which places Mordecai in even more hot water as Haman contemplates impaling my guy before dinner.

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Esther Promises to Intercede for Her People.

Mordecai begs Esther to intercede with the king on behalf of the Jewish people, but she's like, "Are you kidding me right now? He ain't gonna listen to ME!" To which Mordecai replies, "Did you see what he did to the LAST queen? And she wasn't even Jewish! You're not exactly safe, so you might as well die a martyr." Esther thinks this is a fair point and decides to beg for their lives or die trying. It's another nail-biter!

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Bible Study for Atheists Weekly is a collection of last week's episodes by Sacrilegious Discourse with Husband and Wife. This week's collection includes Nehemiah Wrap Up and Contradictions episodes. We also cover Esther chapters 1 - 3 and our weekly Q&A as well as the Sacrilegious Book Club!

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