What if success wasn’t just about showing up—but actually feeling good while doing it?
In this episode of Safely Divergent, Kirstie and Eleanor break down the massive shift from deficit-based models (like the medical model) to strength-based approaches rooted in the neurodiversity paradigm. They get personal about what it actually feels like to mask your needs just to meet made-up "normal" standards—and how it drains our nervous systems.

You'll hear real-life examples of goal-writing gone wrong, why “normal” is a myth, and how accommodations can make the difference between surviving and thriving. Plus, they introduce the Neurodiversity Wheel as a visual tool to better understand your own strengths and support needs.

The second half gets delightfully scattered (as always) with a deep dive into time zones, daylight savings myths, and the utter chaos of living on a state border.

🕒 Timestamp:

• 00:01 – Viral iced coffee & today’s topic: strength-based support

• 01:25 – The problem with deficit-based thinking (aka the “what’s wrong?” model)

• 06:00 – Cognitive inflexibility example & goal-setting cringe

• 10:00 – What strength-based support actually looks like

• 14:00 – Intro to the Neurodiversity Wheel & how to use it

• 16:00 – Let’s get scattered: Time zones, myths & why the sun might not rise 'til 10am

  Resources & Mentions:

  • Follow us on Instagram @safelydivergent

  • Read the blog: ⁠safelydivergent.com⁠

  • Cover art: Honor Heindel

  • Music by Obey Grey

Do crossed arms mean you’re closed off? Can a resting face cause social chaos? And how close is too close when someone’s talking to you?

This week, we’re decoding nonverbal communication—body language, tone of voice, and proximity—and why your nervous system might be screaming even when no one’s said a word. Plus, Eleanor drops some bed bug facts that Kirstie definitely didn’t ask for.

Timestamps:

01:00 – What is nonverbal communication & why it matters03:26 – Body language: posture, movement, facial expressions15:56 – Tone of voice: how we say things vs. what we say20:40 – Proximity: personal space, cultural norms, and social comfort26:02 – Scattered Brain: Would You Rather (bed bug edition)

Resources & Mentions:

• Follow us on Instagram @safelydivergent

• Read the blog: safelydivergent.com

• Cover art: Honor Heindel

• Music by Obey Grey

Join us in this episode of Safely Divergent as we break down the concept of executive functioning and explore how it shapes our daily lives. Whether you're managing tasks at work, navigating social situations, or simply trying to stay organized, executive functioning is at the core of it all.We'll dive into six key categories of executive functioning:~Inhibition Control~Working Memory~Cognitive Flexibility~Planning/Organization~Self-Monitoring~ActivationThroughout the episode, we’ll share personal stories and offer practical strategies to help you manage and improve these areas. Understanding executive functioning can be a game-changer for both your personal and professional life, and we’ll highlight how it affects everything from decision-making to emotional regulation.Tune in for insights that could help you thrive in all aspects of life!

You know that moment when the room’s too bright, your shirt feels wrong, and someone dares to talk to you before caffeine? Yeah, that’s not a personality flaw—that’s stress.

This week, we’re diving into what’s really draining us (spoiler: it’s not always what you think) with help from the Self-Reg framework by Dr. Stuart Shanker.

Timestamps:00:00 – Intro silliness and fake-out ending

00:34 – Real intro: Welcome back to Safely Divergent!

01:12 – Who is Dr. Stuart Shanker and what is Self-Reg?

02:40 – What is stress actually? It’s not just “feeling overwhelmed.”
05:00 – Explaining the 5 domains of stress
06:55 – Biological domain: sensory, nutrition, sleep, and movement
09:45 – Emotional domain: recognizing and recovering from emotions
12:20 – Cognitive domain: mental load, executive functioning
15:05 – Social domain: the pressure of people-ing
18:10 – Prosocial domain: empathy fatigue and “being the helper” stress
20:35 – Real-life examples of subtle stress
24:50 – Why naming stressors changes everything
27:00 – How Self-Reg helps us pause judgment and get curious
30:15 – Wrap-up, quotes, and one last shoutout to Dr. Shanker

Resources & Mentions:

• Stuart Shanker’s Self-Reg website

• Dr. Shanker’s book: Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life

• Follow us on Instagram @safelydivergent

Join us as we unravel the complexities of sensory overwhelm. We start by defining it as the brain receiving more sensory input than it can process, leading to stress, anxiety, and disorientation. Through personal anecdotes, we illustrate the everyday challenges of living in a sensory-rich world. The constant bombardment of stimuli often leaves us craving moments of quiet to recharge. Together, we explore the many ways we navigate this overstimulating environment. We dive deep into sensory processing, unpacking the difference between hypersensitivity and hyposensitivity. You'll learn about the 8 senses — the five we’ve known since childhood (sight, smell, touch, taste, and hearing), and the three internal senses: interoception, proprioception, and the vestibular system. Understanding our sensory differences is the first step in accommodating our differing needs. Finally, we take a lighter turn with an exploration of the salad dressing market, touching on the rich history and modern-day popularity of packaged dressings, with a nod to ranch dressing's beloved status in the United States.

Welcome back to Safely Divergent!In this episode, we dive into the powerful concepts of internal vs external safety, and how our nervous system respond to perceived threats. The conversation explores how things like visible security measures, while intended to make us feel safe, can sometimes have the complete opposite effect. Pulling from Dr. Stephen Porges' groundbreaking work, we discuss how our culture tends to prioritize thoughts over feelings, often overlooking the signals our bodies send us. We focus on the importance of creating spaces that nurture true security.This leads us into a fascinating discussion about neuroception, the body’s innate ability to sense safety or threat, often without our conscious awareness. From there, we explore the intricacies of stress responses and how our brains are wired for survival. You’ll learn how neuroception shapes our reactions to different stimuli, influencing how we assess danger and respond emotionally. We talk about how stress shows up in different ways—whether as fight, flight, or freeze—and how these reactions affect not just our behavior but our relationships and communication. Through personal stories and expert insights, we offer practical strategies for recognizing and managing stress, and how to develop healthier coping mechanisms that improve both our inner well-being and our interactions with others.

this episode dives into what it means to be "safely divergent”—a space where authenticity and meeting your unique needs take center stage. we get real about the process of owning our differences.we explore neurodiversity, busting myths around labels, and stressing the importance of personal, tailored support.

oh, and an unexpected detour into the world of pigeons—once majestic, now misunderstood. whether it's the brain or birds, we’re all about fostering self-love and connection.join us as we embrace the freedom of becoming safely divergent!

Safely Divergent is almost here!

A podcast for brains that do their own thing and people building a life that actually works for them. The first episode drops April 3rd—hit follow so you don’t miss it!