Gaines is hitting the market up this morning now that bitcoin is plunging. Is bitcoin for white people? Christmas Eve is on a Sunday so there's lots of church involved. Nobody flops around on the floor at white church. Travis likes it when the plate gets sent around because the guy with the stick makes him feel self conscious. If we tithed we could be on the Convy show. Seven button purple suits appear to be in vogue. Getting lit at Christmas can make it more fun. Giamatti pregamed church because he's super South City. Chris is surprised that Yale did something funny at a comedy show. Jeff would wear a Mardi Gras suit to black church. Does Jeff go to Kwanzaa parties? Gaines absolutely insists that none of us are invited to his Christmas party. Travis got his dog a Christmas present. Travis felt it would be best to allow women to feel equality by ghosting them. Gaines is gonna work on getting his 5K times in order as we get excited for the WALies. Gucci Mane dropped a mix tape. Dave Chapelle's new stuff is pretty great. Where did Ray King go? Gaines insists that nobody wants to come to his family gatherings because people on the Hill like Bob Romanik. Trump is going to sign the tax bill and hopefully some GIFs come out of it. Steve Bannon looks like a pizza. Travis thinks it's unfair to have fine ass police ladies. We're doing the black bowtie protest if the Cardinals don't add 5 WAR or do add Mike Moustakas. Travis tries to transition to the gun buyback program. Otis O'Neill is bringing in some guns to be traded in. Today is amnesty day to drive around with all your guns. Bo might not be hanging out with the Obamas anymore. Barack really is living his best life right now. Dubya is doing exactly what we thought he would do. Trump has been great for the Dubya brand. Secret Service was way too slow to react to the thrown shoes. For the first time ever, Naughty Or Nice closes the show. 

Chris and Travis were a little bit tardy so Gaines is holding Travis accountable before he comes into the studio. We might be the Michael Gaines show today. Gaines insists that he didn't watch the SLU game while drinking. The new format for the show will be everyone doing their own hour. Wyatt Cenac isn't really excited about Jon Stewart's Herman Cain voice. Chris picked up Travis this morning and Travis might have carjacked him. Gaines is really unhappy with the Title IX investigation at SLU. The process is lengthy but it may be the best one we currently have to deal with gender discrimination claims on campus. How old does a person have to be before they're responsible for their actions? There are consensual things that are still very stupid. Joined by Brandon Lang (@realbrandonlang) to handicap the universe. The Michael Bennett thing went away pretty quick. Run away from active shooters! The Bennett actions in Jacksonville have nothing to do with what he did or didn't do in Vegas. The NFL was probably afraid to suspend Michael Bennett because of his activism. Players who are used to winning may not react to losing well. 

James Gunn and Jenna Fischer could have been the first couple of St. Louis. Travis wants to share a bath bomb with a lady. Dan Le Batard held Rob Manfred accountable for fibbing about the Marlins yesterday. Manfred tried to lawyer his way out of answering straight but Le Batard had him dead to rights. If Warren Buffett buys something you probably weren't supposed to sell it. Jeter got rid of the sculpture which seems like a bad decision. Le Batard was perfectly justified in taking the tactics he did but for the most part they get giant softball interviews. The South Florida fan base is actually pretty good, but MLB is doing a bad job of tapping in to it. Not all parts of Miami are super glamorous. Teams are profitable even if no fans show up and they never win a single game. Will Jeter still own the Marlins in five years? If the NFL situation didn't happen, the MLS would probably have a franchise here. Something stinks with the Blues building of a practice facility and the land transfers in Maryland Heights. Eddie DeBartolo wants back in the club and now all of the sudden Oakland is an open market. Travis will allow for 90 seconds of Blues talk. Jeff pretty much nails it and plows through all the problems with the Blues. Travis tries to talk about the Lakers but it becomes Ball talk in a hurry. LaVar is figuring out how turn a shoe company from a scam into a business opportunity. Gaines wants to be the CFO of the Big Baller Brand. Le Batard and Ball and McAfee really does make this a Gaines morning. Travis wants Diddy to get into the shoe game. What happened to Brother Love? Everyone gave up on Snoop Lion too. Jeff thinks the SEC is bad at basketball and they aren't, but he doesn't think he should be made fun of for watching the Captials. Travis had dreads before he learned about the NCAA. 

Giamatti picks the music and we're stuck with Vertical Horizon but it turns out to be a pretty damn good jingle for Melissa Keyser. Jeff is pigging out on all the leftovers. Travis likes to keep up on his celebrity gossip. Eminem has been hitting up Grindr recently. We're the show of record when it comes to Grindr news. Chris thinks Eminem is probably messing with people. If the aliens come, does Trump get to meet them? Gaines wants Mike Pence to be probed. 2017 has been such a train wreck that we don't even notice when Eminem comes out and aliens show up. Black Twitter came after Chris for speaking out in support of The Interview. Chris is joining the war on the listeners. We spend time breaking down the photoshop of listeners as chicken wings. Jeff accidentally outs Peyton for having a nose ring. Travis is trying very hard to talk about Jesus on the air and Chris and Jeff won't let them. The church was responsible for a lot of really bad stuff and it was very bad to speak out in favor of Cardinal Law. Gaines is super in to the Jesuit Pope. How does a Pope just quit? The Michael Gaines Show comes back with Barstool talk. Carton and Rusillo are probably going to Barstool. How much money does Rusillo make anyway? The Skipper thing really came out of nowhere. Will Kane might be kind of like Skip Bayless. Jeff doesn't get how Skip can be gross but his brother is a really good chef. Maybe Skip Bayless is actually a nice guy. Travis likes to talk himself out of his own arguments all the time. Travis took his sisters shopping yesterday and went at 5 PM to the mall. The West County mall was outside of all of our reach when we were young. Travis is very impressed by the polite retail workers. The Cardinals were giving out free hot chocolate yesterday and it may be the reason the Cardinals can't trade for Machado. Gaines is really afraid the Cardinals are done now. We're organizing a black bow tie protest. Travis is holding Dunkirk accountable. A human statue Stan Musial taking a knee might result in a death. Ladue would block the highway if that happened. Giamatti airballs the intro but Fair Or Foul closes the show as always. 

The Blues lost in Calgary last night and now haven't scored an even strength goal in a week. Both the effort and the coaching were below expectations last night. After the roster freeze, it may be time to look seriously into some roster shakeups. Jeff gets Christmas presents in patterns for his niece and nephew which takes him off the hook shopping-wise. Evan Longoria became a Giant yesterday and it changes a lot about what the Cardinals may have been planning to do with their offseason. Jeff talks about a WaPo story which covers European NHL players getting their driver's licenses. It can be a struggle to adjust to life in North America and it's not one that gets a lot of notice very frequently. 

People are really bad at knowing what Born In The USA is about. SLU won and Mizzou signed some dudes. Drew Lock is likely returning to Mizzou next year. Maybe Mizzou can be rough and tumble next year but probably not. Jeff wants Tim Lincecum to come home to St. Louis. How much worse would Lincecum be than Adam Wainwright? Travis is trying to mack on listeners' wives. JBro has to give Travis a ride to lunch but he has to keep the car. Travis wants to talk about live musical broadcasts. Travis and Chris have to go to Christmas Eve church and Jeff is dipping out. Travis had to go to a hell of a lot of church as a kid. Caller JR is making his glorious return to the show. Jeter held a town hall meeting with Marlins fans last night and it did not go that great. Marlins Man wants to throw out a bunch of first pitches and is probably pretty whiny. The Marlins have as many championships in the last 20 years as the Cardinals do. We're anti-Cardinal Cowboy here. Chris thinks Marlins Man may be a greater American than Derek Jeter. Travis has declared that we're a pro-Jeter show. The Hall of Presidents is open again and Trump lives there now. They might have started to build a Hillary and turned it into Trump. Zach Britton ruptured his Achilles yesterday and it might be some Manny Machado news. It's possible that Stephen Piscotty went Tonya Harding on Zach Britton. It's Braggin Rights week! Get excited! The Pro Bowl is in Orlando now and it's pretty lame. Fair Or Foul closes the show as always. 

The Blues are in Calgary tonight and will be trying to scrape up goals anywhere they can find them. Tage Thompson is going to get every opportunity to spark the team at even strength as well as on the power play. The Jagr signing isn't working out all that well for Calgary. Jeff goes through the full 25 man roster for the Cardinals and discovers there are some big holes as you get deeper into the bullpen. Why do the Cardinals insist on going with 13 pitchers? John Gant may be asked to play a much bigger role. The Vegas Golden Knights may or may not be real, but the Vegas Flu definitely is. A team playing to stick together is a team that's likely to be dangerous as the year goes on. 

Chris and Jeff are here and they're a little lonely here in the morning. Jeff broke down the full Cardinals roster which is what you do when you need to fill some time. There's nowhere to stay in Vegas that's a good hotel that's not basically on the strip. MLB players have a much later schedule than hockey players. Jeff once yelled happily at Vladimir Tarasenko on the street. Should we have Patrico sit in? Jeff says he eats well but his diet yesterday was not very good. Shake Shack makes people feel cool. Dr. Ed comes in for his weekly visit. Dr. Ed is skeptical about letting the hounds loose to track down wild hogs. Jeff thought he was tracking wildlife patterns but instead he just saw a deer. Dr. Ed has some tips for going to meet your pet for the first time. Cats tend to have very stable personalities but dogs take a while to reveal themselves. Dr. Ed is largely pro-pit bull. Allergy issues have been really rough for dogs with the warm weather. Pits are dogs where you can tell where you stand with them very easily. Breed restrictions can be really hard to deal with sometimes. Travis makes an appearance to say hello to Dr. Ed. We go a little too far into the somewhat grizzly Washington Post story about the woman who got eaten by her dogs. You can make donations to the Alzheimer's Association in honor of Dr. Ed's father, who we talk about for a bit.

Chris is having a hard time with the word "billboard" this morning. Jeff has a game based on Christmas movie themes and it was pretty good. No one remembers who Faison Love is. Did Travis confuse Faison Love with Lavell Crawford? Travis likes to go to strip clubs on Christmas. What's the best holiday to go to the casino? Mizzou won last night and Travis is still trying to convince everyone that Stephen F. Austin is a good team. Should Illinois bring back the Chief? Probably not. Cuonzo went into the SFA locker room to tell them they're good. Jeff thinks it's condescending and he's probably wrong. Cuonzo Martin's genuine response helps people understand why he's been so effective at recruiting players. SFA actually gave Mizzou a little bit of a boost on the RPI front. Ian Bagg has come to the conclusion that the tax plan means the country is all over. Travis thinks the country is the same as the Rams relocating. Chris isn't a fan of both sides-ism. Jeff thinks there's a last gasp of power structures who don't want things to collapse and that's why it's a problem for now. Institutions matter. Chris is mad that patriotism brings side eye with it. Protest is the founding action of America so stop saying it's not patriotic. Selling off patriotism can be a profitable venture. Country music made a bunch of money off of 9/11. 

Tomorrow is an experimental day in college football with the early signing day. It'll be an important day to see if Mizzou is making headway in the places where they need to make improvements. James Brown had a little bit of a whoopsie with his Twitter account this weekend. It's important to make sure you don't hit the share button on a porn site. The listeners will all be sitting in for us on Friday. John Skipper is skipping his way on out of ESPN and is citing substance abuse as the reason. It's really hard for a guy like Skipper to have anyone who's able to truly challenge him. Travis isn't happy with Condi Rice but likes her a little more than Rex Tillerson. Jeff sneezed into the mic and the cough button doesn't work back here. Matt Damon is sticking his neck out right now and it's not a good look for him. Damon is a top tier guy so Travis would be very surprised if he hadn't heard these rumors before. Now is not the time for him to speak up because it's not like innocent people are really getting swept up in this. Hollywood has decades and decades of this behavior so Matt Damon probably needs to sit down now. Jeff is really mad at Dan Brown and hates how rich he is. It's really hard to see someone in a special that's really good. Kevin Hart gets people to laugh at his energy and not the jokes. It's hard to really draw inspiration from someone who isn't accessible or relatable. Rotten Tomatoes is mean to Jumanji. Disney is never going to stop their live action remakes. Panhandlers in Farmington face an angry reception. Fair or Foul closes the show as always.