Sam's Army

An emotionally contained Tyler Terens and BIG RED himself Tim Parker join to discuss...

HEADLINES [6:00]: a "Keeping Up With the Icardashians" spin-off is in the works (zomg!), CCL changes and the Canadian men's NT go on a high-risk strike

WHAT IF [26:00]: O/U goals Messi would score in MLS right now? (Related: is Tim Parker a secret sharp?)

USMNT [29:00]: Morocco and Uruguay recaps, including status update on three "key" positions: who is GK1-GK3, ideal CB combo and best striker right now - plus what to expect from this week's Grenada and El Salvador Nations League games

REST OF WORLD [54:45]: best thing about Ukraine getting tripped up by "bad guy" Wales plus (unbiased) thoughts on USMNT's Group B draw

STOPPAGE TIME [1:04:20]: Best Bets and GOAWs -- f/t in depth debate about Pulisic's postgame comments about the American crowd support vs Morocco in Cincinnati last week

HEADLINES [6:00]: Aaronson to Leeds, Lewandowski burning Bayern bridges and Saint-Etienne's next level pitch invasion d-baggery

WWI [20:15]: winning UCL vs signing Mbappe for three years?

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE [24:45]: wtf happened outside the stadium, reaction to game itself and Real Madrid's ridiculous path, plus knee-jerk reaction to Sadio Mane's exit

REST OF WORLD [53:15]: Hit-It-N-Quit-It MLS Minute

USMNT [57:00]: who starts in Morocco and Uruguay friendlies plus what guys are we most interested in getting looks at

STOPPAGE TIME [1:08:25]: Best Bets and GOAWs

Next up [1:22:30], Ryan Brandell (aka Barstool Chief) – fresh off a flight from London – discusses his path to becoming a Nottingham Forest dieheard, the stars aligning for both him and the club this season, what it was like sharing a once-in-a-lifetime experience at Wembley this weekend and favorite Forest chants.

Larry Nance Jr and TJ McConnell join Tyler Terens and lone Tweedle rep Tommy McGunner this week in discussing...

HEADLINES: uncertain future of pitch invasions, downside of Mbappe's PSG deal and where will/should Pulisic play next season

WWI [37:00]: where would USMNT finish if they played in the Premier League?

PREMIER LEAGUE [43:15]: final day drama at top and bottom of the table plus 2021-22 awards (POY, coach of year, best signing and biggest disappointment)

REST OF WORLD [1:29:20]: Champions League final preview and predictions plus Hit-It-N-Quit-It-MLS-Minute

STOPPAGE TIME [1:38:50]: Best Bets and GOAWs

HEADLINES: if/when Messi to Inter Miami is happening, MLS salary dump day, USMNT dual nationals "exploring options" and Jake Daniels coming out.

WWI [25:30]: Sam's galaxy brain conspiracy theory about Roman Abramovich "selling" Chelsea...

PREMIER LEAGUE [30:45]: TJ and Larry's bet on the FA Cup final plus Arsenal's dual implosions in NLD and vs Newcastle, and what to watch this weekend in the title race, top 4 battle and relegation fight.

REST OF WORLD [59:10]: Championship and League One scenario planning, wild final weekend in Germany and abbreviated hit-it-n-quit-it MLS minute.

STOPPAGE TIME [1:03:00]: Best Bets & GOAWs

INTERVIEW [1:12:30]: Erik Palmer-Brown discusses a rollercoaster season starting with a failed transfer to Venezia and ending with Troyes escaping Ligue 1 relegation, playing vs PSG's Messi/Mbappe/Neymar this month, how he got back on Berhalter's radar and what playing Mexico in the Azteca for all the marbles felt like, what USMNT's best CB duo is right now in light of Miles Robinson's injury and, finally, if he is #TeamHank.

HEADLINES: City cements Evil Empire status by signing Haaland and what Miles Robinson's injury means for USMNT at CB.

WWI [23:20]: you could go back in time and change the result of ONE game...

PREMIER LEAGUE [30:15]: Spurs ruining everything, Klopp butthurting, United's joke of a performance vs Brighton, the bleak road forward for Leeds and preview/predictions for North London Daerby (why in the world is Sam so confident?!?)

REST OF WORLD [1:04:20]: "Hit It N Quit It MLS Minute", US Open Cup shoutouts & SUNDERLAND (Haway!)

STOPPAGE TIME [1:10:50]: Best Bets & GOAWs

INTERVIEW [1:18:50]: Sounders' Kelyn Rowe on not expecting to dress for Concacaf Champions League final, why he did anyway, whether he pooped his pants (just a little) being subbed on after 10' in front of 70000 people, thoughts on 16yo Obed Vargas, his Macklemore-inspired but Macklemore-less celly, semi-nude postgame interviews, partying on a Wednesday night in Seattle and the key to turning things around after a slow start to the MLS season. Also, one of the best "Kelyn explains wine to Sam" episodes yet.

TJ McConnell joins this week thus adding his name to the 2023 contenders for NBA's biggest futbolista. HEADLINES [7:30]: debating Mino Raiola's legacy and Mark Pulisic's twitter bomb. WHAT IF [21:00]: The Babyjesus leaves, where is the best landing spot? PREMIER LEAGUE [27:00]: Chelsea's capitulation vs Everton, Burnley raining on America's parade, Power Tops/Bottoms and what games we are most interested in this week. REST OF WORLD [1:09:45]: Hit It N Quit It MLS Minute, Champions League preview. STOPPAGE TIME [1:21:00]: Best Bets and GOAWs.

Next up Forrest Lasso [1:34:30] hops on again to discuss the complex calculus of deciding whether to jump overseas, how Sweden solved the culture (bathroom) war, how the Allsvenskan's level of play compares vs USL-C, weirdest thing he's eaten over there, poop box problems and Zlatan stories.

HEADLINES [5:00]: UK gov't wants "soccer regulator", more FIFA fuckery & big news about MLS All-Star Game. WWI [19:30]: what if Ronny had signed with Man City. PREMIER LEAGUE [24:10]: Alisson shithousery, Arsenal snatches control of top 4 race from Spurs, Pulisic overcomes Tommy The Terrorist to save Chelsea, Burnley proving us all wrong & Power Tops/Bottoms [43:00]. REST OF WORLD [1:02:10]: "Hit It N Quit It MLS Minute" and Champions League predictions. STOPPAGE TIME [1:12:20]: Best Bets and GOAWs.

Next up [1:21:30], good friend of the program Julian Gressel stops by to give us the inside scoop on what led to Hernan Losada's sudden dismissal, the ex-HC's relationship with players, he grades Chad Ashton's first pregame speech ahead of Saturday's win over New England plus Julian admits to insider info on the Bayern Munich friendly and he calls out (future teammate??) Gareth Bale.

HEADLINES: tragic Ronny news and Haaland chatter. WWI [9:00]: one-time switch preference. PREMIER LEAGUE [13:20]: FA Cup results and fallout f/t where Zack Steffen and USMNT goalkeeping competition go from here, if Burnley [34:45] was shrewd or stupid to fire Sean Dyche and Power Tops/Bottoms. REST OF WORLD [55:55]: oh no Barça and MLS "Hit It N Quit It Minute". STOPPAGE TIME [1:03:10]: acrimonious Best Bets and GOAWs.

HEADLINES: pencil pushers latest attempt to defile the beautiful game and Ronny's postgame assault of Everton fan. WWI: pick a soccer foursome to play 18 holes with. PREMIER LEAGUE: thots on City vs Liverpool and what upcoming games will decide the title, is Jesse Marsch getting credit he deserves, what dead weight does United need to cut this summer plus Power Tops/Bottoms and weekend preview (ft another Liverpool/City). REST OF WORLD: hit-it-n-quit-it MLS minute. STOPPAGE TIME: Best Bets and GOAWs.

Next, Katie Stengel discusses her globetrotting career that has taken her to Bayern Munich, Australia, NWSL, Norway and now Liverpool where she hit the ground running with 8 goals in 15 games - plus a championship to boot. We chat about partying with Jurgen Klopp, differences in the standards on and off the field in the leagues she has played in, and her brushes with controversy thanks to an unfiltered social media presence.

HEADLINES: breakdown of USMNT's Group B draw for WC22, including serious concerns about FIFA's handling of situation (gasp!), as well as debate on Group of Death and which favorite is most likely to crash out at the group stage. WWI: which game at WC22 would your #1 choice to attend. PREMIER LEAGUE [30:00]: are Chelsea's top 4 hopes in jeopardy, are United's top 4 hopes dead, and impact of Arsenal/Spurs results on North London top 4 daerby; Power Rankings and preview of this week's massive City/Liverpool and Burnley/Everton fixtures. REST OF WORLD [1:05:15]: Champions League primer. STOPPAGE TIME [1:08:45]: Best Bets and GOAWs.

Next up Cody Laurendi [1:16:40] discusses his transition from GK at Oklahoma City Energy in USL-C to soccer agent, what a day in his life is like, how cut-throat player recruitment is, biggest misnomers about the industry and shadiest dealings he has experienced thus far.