While tidying up after some Airbnb guests, a gay man discovered a vibrator left under the pillow. Should he message the couple and offer to send it back, or would that be too embarrassing?

One year ago, a woman called the show about her boyfriend, and Dan advised her to break up with him. But they are still together today, and the woman wonders if she should tell her boyfriend about the episode.

On the Magnum, Dan chats with Melissa Febos- bestselling author of "The Dry Season: A Memoir of Pleasure in a Year Without Sex." Febos pressed pause on her promiscuous life and abstained from sex for a year. She and Dan talk about the ways our sexuality defines us, and how we broadcast our desire.

A trans man is in love with his girlfriend. The sex is good but not great, because the caller can't bear to indulge his kinky side with his beloved. How can he get out of his head and get nasty with her?

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Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From anal sex to asexuality, weddings to webcamming and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.

A woman's boyfriend wants her to drug him, have her way with him and share him with her friends. He did this before with an ex, and loved it. She's intrigued, but cautious. Should she do it?

A straight man is miffed when women act like they want to meet for a second time, but then disappear. Aren't women violating the consent culture contract when they do this?

On the Magnum, Dan speaks with Arielle Domb- the intrepid journalist who visited a sex toy brothel in Berlin. Hear about her adventures into the future. Also, they take a call from a sex worker who worries that she and her co-workers are betraying women by faking orgasms for men's pleasure.

A woman is VERY supportive of her trans son. He explained that he doesn't masturbate because his vagina gives him dysphoria. Is there a sex toy she could buy him? How involved should she get here?

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Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, world traveller and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From foreplay to freysexuals, premature ejaculation to pegging and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, in this wicked, wicked world.

The woman in a married couple that does not want children accidentally got pregnant. This happened once before, and she learned that her husband is against abortion on religious grounds. Should she tell him she will end this pregnancy, or keep it secret from him?

Do accidents happen in BDSM? They sure do! Hear the harrowing tale of one man's consequential mistake. Dan brings on Australian kink educator "The Funny Dom" to talk this one through.

On the Magnum, a woman's husband is recovering from an accident that left him wheelchair-bound. Now they are wondering how to develop a sex life when he can't feel below the waist. Dan brings on queer disability activist/writer Andrew Gurza, to talk about disability grief, sex with disabilities and how the queer community has work to do in supporting access rights.

And, a man in an open relationship is miffed that his wife hates to give him oral sex, but LOVES to give it to her boyfriend. What is going on here?

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This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From anal sex to asexuality, weddings to webcamming and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.

A queer woman has a non-binary, AFAB spouse. Her partner can mime the action of cunnilingus with their tongue, flicking and teasing across the dinner table, like a horny lizard. The caller wishes she could do the same, but her tongue just doesn't work that way. She also gets low marks on her oral technique, and couldn't play the clarinet very well in school. Does she just have a bad tongue? Are there exercises she could do?

A 52 year-old straight man was welcomed into a new friend group through his girlfriend. The group has a charismatic "queen bee" leader. When he started seeing a 20 year-old woman, and told the queen bee about it, he was summarily ejected from the group. Now no one will talk to him. What did he do to deserve this?

On the Magnum, a woman sometimes cries when she has an orgasm. It feels fine to her, and she's had no sexual abuse in her past. But her friends insist she must have repressed trauma. Dan brings on Jena Martin, host and creator of the Memory Hole Podcast, a series that looks back at the recovered memory movement and how false memories are still commonly accepted. Are memories "etched into our physiology?" Well, no actually.

And, a 40 year-old woman came out as queer and pan one year ago. But she has never dated women, and her experience with women is limited to some hazy, drunken college nights. Now, she wants to try women again, but finds them too soft and tender. What she really likes, is when the dude she's seeing rails her. So is she even queer?

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This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of pillows, shapes and furniture for new exciting sex. Go to Liberator.com/Savage or type “Savage” into the search bar for private VIP access to deals that are too good to announce on this podcast!

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From breaking up to barebacking, cuckolding to cunnilingus and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, and you damn well know it.

A woman in her late 40s is struggling to process a relationship she had when she was in college. She slept with a former professor of hers but then got rejected by him. After she moved away, she arranged a visit with him, and got rejected again. Now, over 20 years later, she's wondering if his actions were unethical or inappropriate.

We've gotten some tricky parenting questions in the past, but this one is extra-special. The caller is a new mother, and the 24/7 dom in a clothed female/naked male relationship. She treats her service sub roughly and her pet name for him is "slut." It's all well and good while the child is an infant, but how can they maintain their relationship style when the kid is older and asking questions like "Why isn't daddy allowed to sit on the furniture?" Dan brings on Lina Dune from the Ask A Sub podcast to advise.

On the Magnum, welcome to the world of competitive masturbation. Meet Colby Jaxxx, a professional gooner content creator and winner of the second season of The Great BateWorld BateOff™! Dan and Colby talk about this niche gig, poppers in gooning culture, the unique challenges when gooners date each other, and the presence of "girlie gooners."

And, a polite gay man endowed with a high volume of come wonders if he should warn his lovers that they are about to be blasted. Or should it be a big surprise?

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This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

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Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From 24/7 Dom/sub relationships to abstinence, gooning to ghosting and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity.

Her boyfriend of one year is perfect in every way! Except...he is stoned literally all the time. But he's a great lover, communicates well, and truly loves the caller. So is this really a problem? Will it be eventually?

A gay man was raised Mormon, and got the hell out. Now he's living his best gay life, with a boyfriend he loves. But he never had a slutty phase, and worries that the only way to truly exorcise the Mormon mentality is to break free.

On this week's show, Dan interviews Sacha Coward- a historian and writer specializing in LGBTQ+ history. His book "Queer as Folklore" makes perfect June reading. He and Dan talked about The Little Mermaid as trans allegory, how pornographic unicorns are, and the perverse straightness of the Nosferatu re-make. A little is on the Micro, all of it is on the Magnum.

And, a gay man has been hooking up with a gentleman he suspects to be chronic liar. Is it wrong to ghost such a man?

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Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, queer dude, podcaster, homosexual, author, gay man, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From blowjobs to breaking up, erectile dysfunction to ethical non-monogamy and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since waaaay before Stonewall.

We start the show with two calls concerning the "post nut" state of mind. One man hates that he becomes selfish and unresponsive so much that he chooses not to come at all. Another wonders if we should start calling it "post-nut confusion."

Just in time for Pride, it's a new After-Action Report! Hear the tale of Ian- a straight man who gave a man head for the first time. What were the circumstances of this premier dick-sucking? Would he do it again? Listen in, and find out.

On the Magnum, while poor Dan was holed up with the Covid, he reached out to his TV expert pal Ashley Ray (of the hit podcast "TV I say,") for a rundown of the best shows out there right now.

And, a straight ally is disturbed at the site of drunken revelry at Pride events. "Are you guys ok?" he seems to ask.

Send us your questions and comments!

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Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, homosexual, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From condoms to conservative Christians, camming to the Campsite Rule and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since 1991, actually.

When she was in high school, she surprised herself and delighted her boyfriend by squirting all over his face. But the incident alarmed her enough to set off a neurotic need to pee before every sexual encounter. How can she get out of her head about it, and allow for spontaneity in her current, awesome sex life?

A woman is in an in a polyamorous, fantastic, committed relationship full of compersion. Sounds great right? The problem? When they get "activated" he tells her he needs to be with someone who is more intellectually aligned with him. Because you see, he has a Phd in engineering, and she has a mere bachelor in fine arts. When he says things like this, is it just an "avoidant deactivation tactic?"

Let's move on. We are so excited about our guest this week! Nico Carney is a Brooklyn based comedian whose stand-up covers his experiences as a trans man from the South. He and Dan talk about how using humor works so much better than scolding to bring people in to understanding of trans experiences. They talk about genital preferences, and the benefits of interrogating your desires. And, FYI, after coming out in college, Nico still bagged hot chicks. Not a problem. A little is on the Micro, and all of it is on the Magnum.

And, do you have problems? Serious ones? This gal's problem is that her boyfriend loses her lighter sometimes.

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This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of pillows, shapes and furniture for new exciting sex. Go to Liberator.com/Savage or type “Savage” into the search bar for private VIP access to deals that are too good to announce on this podcast!

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, animal lover, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From squirting, to sexting, kissing to kink and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since you were a little, bitty baby.

A married woman in a poly relationship is planning to visit a boyfriend who lives in a different city for a month. But since they made these plans, she started seeing yet another man. Should she tell the guy she plans to visit about the new guy? Should she do it before the trip so he can pull the rip cord if he needs to?

Can you peg your dom? She is a switch, so she knows both sides of the dom/sub dynamic. Her dom wants her to peg him, but she worries she'll slip into dom mode. Dan coaches her on how to stay submissive in her head.

Our guest this week is Jeremy Alder. The former fundamentalist Christian pastor made a U-turn and became a comedian instead. Their loss is our gain- Alder is dryly funny, sweet and bold in the face unkind, hypocritical Christianity. He and Dan talk about the disaster of homeschooling, buying guns for loved ones, and having a slutty phase after leaving the church.

And, a gay man has been getting together with a guy for 10 years in a casual, friends-with-benefits style arrangement. Nobody in his life knows about this relationship. But after 10 years, the guy is suddenly not responding to any of the caller's texts. Is this a cruel, cowardly break-up? Or much worse?

[email protected]. 206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.

Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage

This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp.com: Making professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient – so anyone who struggles with life’s challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. For 10% your first month, go to Betterhelp.com/savage.

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, psychic cartographer, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From rosebudding, to watersports, hankie codes to harnesses and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity for a long, long time.

A man in Nashville keeps having great dates, but then they reject him afterwards. Is it because he's a liberal Jew?

A woman is in a new, fun, casual relationship, just like she wanted. But he will be moving away in a few months, so there's a clear end date. How can they enjoy themselves knowing the end is nigh?

On the Magnum, put on your pink glasses...it's Randy Rainbow! Rainbow's political, musical theater-based parodies are what the world needs now, more than ever. He and Dan talk about his children's book ("Randy Rainbow and the Marvelously Magical Pink Glasses,") as well as being Randy Rainbow in a world full of haters, the special relationship between gay men and their grandmothers and how to have noisy sex without infuriating your uptight neighbor. This interview basically kicks off gay pride this year, so it's required listening.

And, a woman and her husband are going to try a sex party for the first time. Besides all the conversations around expectations and boundaries, she wants to know: What are the fashion do's and fashion don'ts?

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This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by Skims Men- find super comfortable, super sexy underwear, socks, t-shirts leggings and more at Skims.com.

This episode is brought to you by OneSkin, the world’s first skin longevity company. Keep your skin looking and acting younger for longer with OneSkin’s topical supplements. Get 15% off at OneSkin.co with code LOVECAST.

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, trickster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From pegging to polyamory, BDSM to abstinence and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.