Says Who?

On a dark day in American politics, we go FULL BORE POSITIVE with a friendly alien named Jonny Sun.

Dan has an idea for a sitcom. Maureen talks about puppets and wall cheese. There's a man with rocks in his head. All of this, improbably, has to do with the news of the last two weeks, somehow.

Bonus: PODCAST DANCING! You can see it, but it's happening. It's all happening. None of this is brought to you by Blue Apron, which won't even come up.

Says Who: because we all need a buddy comedy right about now.

SHOW NOTES:

Meet Jonny!

And get his book!

"I have rocks in my head."

Mr. Trump's Strange, Strange Interview.

The announcement for HOW I RESIST!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

It hasn't been an easy two weeks. Dan has been going through some serious stuff, which means he has been away from the news. Maureen has been keeping up, but she was also attacked by a fish, a cough, and a dog leash. Both try to parse the many feelings and sensations this news cycle brings about.

To help bring clarity and actual INFORMATION, Radiotopia's Roman Mars and Constitutional law professor Elizabeth Joh come by to explain things like collision, obstruction of justice, the 25th Amendment, and lupus. (That last one, they do not explain, actually. But it comes up.)

Also, there's an exciting new SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITY. Is Blue Apron in for some competition?

Class is in session, SaysWhovians. Take a seat.

SHOW NOTES:

Listen to What Trump Can Teach Us About Con Law with Roman Mars and Elizabeth Joh

The Preamble from Schoolhouse Rock.

Here's the piece in which details NASA's denial that it has a child slave colony on Mars.

Donald Trump is unclear whether wrestling is real

Don't get this.

All the times it wasn't Lupis.

See Maureen live on stage with Mark and Hal at the Philadelphia Podcast Festival on July 21!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

It's time for an old-fashioned dose of your friends Dan and Maureen losing their minds in real time! Dan has had a legitimately terrible few weeks, so its just no guests, mics on, and GO.

It's time to talk coping, healthcare, fake Time Magazine covers, rubbing your school bus driver's shoulders as you careen down a hill, the latest scandals at Disney's Hall of Presidents (complete with EXCLUSIVE SAYS WHO SOURCES)--you know all the stuff you'd expect in this, the darkest timeline.

Plus, Maureen thinks up a new revenue stream because Blue Apron never called, Dan has trouble with his Alexa, and WHAT IS LURKING IN MITCH MCCONNELL'S CHIMNEY???

It's just you, the moon, and Says Who. We're all in this together.

SHOW NOTES:

Read an excerpt from Truly Devious, Maureen's new book, coming January 16, 2018

See Maureen live on stage with Mark and Hal at the Philadelphia Podcast Festival on July 21!

Trump's watch strap situation is truly horrific

Dat ass

Disney denies reports of trouble at the Hall of Presidents. Our sources say otherwise!

Robot Obama has something inspiring to tell you

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

It's been a long two weeks and Dan is done. It's all just gotten to be too much. Maureen is ready to talk about Comey and sentient banjo Jeff Sessions but Dan cannot do it any more. How can we save Dan Sinker before he is sunk? Maureen has an idea: A FULL-ON DISNEY SPECTACULAR with podcast superstars (and Disney superfans) Hal Lublin and Mark Gagliardi!

We've long promised that when Trump leaves office--by resignation, impeachment, massive constipation from too much beef--we are off to Disney World. Well today we decide that a wish is a dream your heart makes and so we have to FOLLOW OUR DREAMS, Sayswhovians. Even if it takes us to a theme park in central Florida.

What happens if you drop in the Tower of Terror 35 times a day for a month--does it better prepare you for life under Trump? What's going on inside the Hall of Presidents? If Trump went to Epcot's World Showcase, would he think it was real? And how could we trap him there? Is Trump's plane powered by his butt? How has Maureen's personality been influenced by a haunted painting? Will Blue Apron become a sponsor? When Trump leaves offices, what's the first ride YOU ride?

This Says Who only happens if you truly believe. Clap! Clap! No, seriously. CLAP.

SHOW NOTES:

Special guests Hal Lublin and Mark Gagliardi of We Got This!

See Maureen live on stage with Mark and Hal at the Philadelphia Podcast Festival on July 21!

Walt Disney World is a theme park located in greater Orlando Florida.

The nuns execution painting Maureen describes in this episode? It is so real.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Summer arrives at Says Who and Maureen and Dan dream of bobbing in the dappled sunshine off the Florida coast.

But they're not the only ones setting their sights on a little summertime outing. The president went off to see the world and, thanks to world leaders accommodating his beefy dietary needs, possibly spent 10 days without pooping. But he did get to have a friendly visit with the Pope, touch a glow orb, see Saudi Arabian country superstar Toby Keith (wait, that's not right), and have his tiny hands crushed a few dozen times in handshake wars. Plus, we all got a vacation from his Twitter account for a week or so. Felt great, didn't it?

In addition, this episode really does step on to a boat and moors it right outside Mar a Lago when Jeff Larson, Surya Mattu, and Julia Angwin of ProPublica and Gizmodo join to discuss their watery investigation into the Trump Organization's cyber security. This interview is even more delightful than that sounds.

So ahoy there matey, it's time to walk the plank.

SHOW NOTES:

Go read the article we discussed in our interview spot: Any Half-Decent Hacker Could Break Into Mar-a-Lago it is amazing.

We were joined today by Jeff Larson, Surya Mattu, and Julia Angwin. They are all great.

Pay for journalism.

The article where Trump talks about Melania's amazing imagination by making meat sauce for spaghetti is Golf, Business, and Meatloaf

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Well that escalated quickly.

Maureen and Dan play catch up with the events surrounding the sudden firing of FBI Director James Comey. Sure, he didn't do well by Clinton's emails, but all indications are he was leading pretty deep investigations into all this Trump Russia stuff.

Aaand, now he's not. That's convenient.

Oh, and the Russia stuff? Now they're in the Oval Office too. Sure, why not.

We also learn about Trump's dessert preferences, what he likes on his salad (surprisingly, not Russian Dressing), and Maureen begins to build a Stranger Things-inspired Spicer Light Wall to get readings from the Sean Spicer stuck in the upside down.

There's a lot of smoke, there's a lot of fire, there's a lot of truth and a lot of fiction too. To help them wrap their heads around it all, Maureen and Dan are joined by Mother Jones' Editor in Chief Clara Jeffery as well.

SHOW NOTES:

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Happy 100 days of Trump! And what a hundred days they have been, full of...wait. Forget all that. Maureen has an important salad report. She's gone back to 1972 and brought back something green. Green and fluffy.

But it's not all salad. Maureen and Dan are joined by Buzzfeed's Tarini Parti to talk about about the creeps and hustlers in orbit around Trump. How did the local bars around Mar-a-lago suddenly become a nexus of political gossip, scams, and all around strange happenings?

Back in the hundred days... why hasn't anyone looked into the Civil War? How did that happen? Didn't anyone ask Andrew Jackson? Why does Trump only sleep four hours a night? What's in the new health care bill? Does anyone even care? It's questions like this that have kept Dan from sleeping. He's been spinning tales of imaginary clowns hiding outside of his house and building programs to track Trump's plane. Maureen revisits the past again, talking of paranoid relatives and counting dirty coins in a cloud of smoke.

But there are victories too! Some villains have been defeated. The Resistance has risen. Congratulations, everyone. We've made it this far.

100 days. It's harder than we thought!

Show Notes:

Tarini Parti covers Capitol Hill and the White House for BuzzFeed News.

Read her amazing article "the House Mother and the Fraudster ".

Make a Watergate salad! It's green and fluffy!

Find out more about Watergate and All the President's Men.

We've got good things going on on the Says Who Pinterest boards

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

In two weeks, we've seen: an egg roll, the continued drip drip drip on the shady characters in the Trump-Russia story, a family feud between a white supremacist and a rich son-in-law, the ongoing shredding of rights and infrastructure, Sean Spicer coining the stomach-churning term "Holocaust centers," and the start of two armed conflicts by a man who's finally undone the child lock on the boom-boom room...oh, and a possible nuclear war with North Korea because of Twitter.

So let's talk about what Trump eats.

What?

Yes! It means more than you think. Dan and Maureen are joined by Helen Rosner from Eater. We drill deep into the strange story of food and the role it's played in the election and the aftermath. This is a President who owns restaurants, who makes foreign leaders eat in them. This is a man who remembers his chocolate cake but not what country he just bombed. The clues are everywhere, and we're putting it together. It's a whole new conspiracy wall! And wait until we get to the meatloaf.

Grab a fork! It's Says Who time!

Show Notes:

Helen Rosner is the executive editor of Eater, the national food and restaurant culture publication, and co-host of Eater's weekly interview podcast, the Eater Upsell. In 2014, she launched Eater's features department; its mix of long-form reported pieces, multimedia stories, personal essays, and special packages has brought in a slew of awards, including three James Beard Awards and two National Magazine Awards. Formerly an editor at Saveur and New York Magazine, and a founder of the short-lived but cultishly influential blog Eat Me Daily — and before all that, a book editor — her work has been published in places like Afar, the Awl, Racked, Departures, and Guernica, which published her Beard Award-winning essay "On Chicken Tenders." She tweets (too much, probably) at @hels.

Make your own Paul Ryan meatloaf!

Watch Donald Trump "make" a meatloaf! It's real weird.

Bonus: weird meatloaf sandwich.

Palate cleanser: the Eater guide to Surviving Disney World.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Organ music this week courtesy of Josh Kantor

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Dan and Maureen are back after a month of dealing with life, and the new Says Who is here! What is new? Well, they’re back with guests and a SCHEDULE! And there's certainly been a lot to catch up on.

We’ve had the first battle over health care. The President pretended to drive a big truck and golfed thirteen times. And then, Russia! Maureen attempts to create an audio flowchart of events and issues the first Says Who Crafting Challenge: make your own conspiracy wall! Dan busts in with critical info he’s been keeping from Maureen and issues the second Says Who Crafting Challenge: let’s put a billboard outside of Paul Ryan’s grocery store!

Then we turn to our guest--musician and all-round good guy Ted Leo--to talk about how he stays creative inside this awful Trump headspace. Turns out, he likes to read some really relaxing books. Then he drops a bombshell of an Action Park story that brings everything full circle and Maureen loses it a little.

Says Who is back in town--bigger and better than ever. Let’s ride the slide together while we’re all still insured. Wheeeeeee!

Show Notes:

Ted Leo has been playing music since the early 90s with a bunch of amazing bands, and has released nine records as a solo artist. He also collaborates on The Both with Aimee Mann. In addition, he just successfully Kickstarted his new record which will be out later this year. Ted does the work folks. Buy music.

Action Park, the New Jersey waterpark that Maureen and Ted talk about, boasts one of the more thorough Wikipedia entries about theme park safety you've ever seen, "Factors contributing to the park's safety record" along with the corresponding entry, "Fatalities"

Ringworm is not a worm, it is a fungus.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

We know a ton is going on right now, but some Life Stuff made it so we had to hit the pause button on new full-length episodes of Says Who for the time being. In fact, this will be the last episode of any size from Says Who for a couple more weeks.

BUT DON'T DESPAIR SAYSWHOVIANS because in this Minicast we do the one thing that you all have been asking for more than anything else: We make that theme park favorite, Dole Whip!

That's right, Dan steps into the Says Who Test Kitchen to whip up a batch of this tasty frozen treat. Plus, there's a special treat of a song by Neko Case for those that stay all the way through the end.

Grab your blender and follow along folks, It's a special Says Who Minicast!

Episode Notes:

You have asked and asked, and Dan made it live on this episode, so here's our recipe for knockoff Dole Whip.

You need:

Open your can of coconut milk and pour the contents into a bowl. It separates in the can, so you'll be scooping & pouring and need to mix that all back into one thick wonderful substance. Once you have (it can take a while), pour it into the blender along with about 1/3 of your pineapple juice. Then add half your frozen pineapple chunks and whir it up. Scrape down the sides, add more pineapple and a little more juice, and give it another whir. Keep doing this until you've got it the consistency of soft serve. If you've made a smoothie, you added too much juice.

OMG ENJOY THIS DELICIOUS TREAT (and please Disney, don't sue us--we like you a lot).

Also at the conclusion of this episode, Dan references the song "Ragtime" by Neko Case. It is a really great song. She gave us permission to play this episode out with this beautiful song, which sure was nice of her. So thanks Neko! And hey you, listener, support artists. Buy music.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho