Sometimes, SayWhovia, it’s important to think about balance. Work and life balance. Physical balance. Bank balance. The balance of an overladen van teetering on the edge of a cliff. This is the balance episode, where all of these things will come up. Dan’s work and life balance is a little off again. Maureen is learning physical balance! Trump has a low bank balance. And off of us are living out the end sequence of the 1967 classic film, the Italian Job.

This episode makes more sense than most, which is saying a lot considering it’s 2024.

Nobody move, SayWhovia. This whole thing could go over.

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It’s Super Tuesday, SaysWhovia! How are YOU celebrating? A party? A casual gathering? A quiet cry in the closet? All of these are valid! And who will win? No one knows! Except, everyone!

Meanwhile, Maureen reveals the joys of living in New York City once again, Dan gets a new fencepost, and COVID is over! More importantly, plans for Disney on Election Day are being finalized. It’s really happening. Dan and Maureen are going to ride the Haunted Mansion as the results come in, and then Says Whovia will…go on forever. And ever. And ever.

Get in the Doom Buggy, SaysWhovia! It’s all really happening!

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This week, Maureen spends a lot of time convincing Dan it’s time to get serious about making Disney plans for the election while Dan falls gently to pieces. 

It’s that time. Get in line with us, SaysWhovia.

Note: this episode contains a brief discussion of the death of Aaron Bushnell. There is no detailed discussion of physical events, but the significance is discussed for a short time.
 

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Brrrr. Shut the door! There’s a cold winter wind blowing. All is snug and safe here in the Says Who fort. 

Dan’s son is recovering from COVID and has had adventures in a hotel room. Mauren wants to get right to the news! 2024 is ramping up! Trump is making shiny shoes because he owes SO MUCH MONEY. So much money! Surely these shiny sneakers will fix everything. Seriously, though—he owes all the money. Does he have it? How will he get it? How many shiny shoes will be sell? And what’s with the perfume?

Somehow this becomes Dan and Maureen’s Composition 101 workshop, which should probably be a thing.

Pencils down, SayWhovia, and hand your papers to the front.

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It’s 2024, SaysWhovia. Everything has changed. Dan has too many jobs. Maureen bought a planner. Trump is running against Biden and Biden is running against Trump.

Wait…

We’ve been on this ride, haven’t we? No matter. We’ll get in line again. And there are always new twists. For example, Dan’s new job is in the MORNING. Maureen’s new planner is DIFFERENT. Trump is threatening to KILL US ALL.

It’s still the same, isn't it? 

Come with us anyway, SayWhovia. We’ll hold your place in line.

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Maureen is in paradise; Dan is in Chicago. You can probably guess how this is going to go.

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It’s the first big political event of 2024, sort of! It’s the New Hampshire primary, and everyone is excited. Right? Is that excitement? Dan isn’t sure. 

Ron DeSantis has dropped out of the race, dragging Florida down with him into the swamp, where he will live with sewage and alligators. Trump continues to be on trial. So…is any of this news? Is it news if you knew it already? What to do with this zombie of a year?

Enter Maureen, with a plan. She has a plan, everyone. A good plan to fix it all.

Gather round, SaysWhovia. Listen to the plan!
 

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Come in! Take a seat her by the fire that Maureen and Dan have made sure to keep burnin’. Have some hot tea. Get a blanket. It’s cold! At least, it is at Dan’s house. For some reason, Maureen’s place is a thousand degrees, her feet are trapped in a footstool, and she can’t see right out of one eye. No matter. No one wants to come into 2024 being able to see all of it. Best to keep it in soft focus.

The Iowa caucus has happened! And…um. It happened! Exactly as everyone knew it would! There is literally nothing gained from this exercise! But Dan and Maureen are going to mine it for gems, and end up in a deep discussion about the ways 2024 will bend people psychologically. Maureen looks deep into the abyss. Dan watches, nervously. The fire crackles.

And then Maureen has a good idea that Dan may or may not be responding to sarcastically. She can’t tell.

Snuggle up, SaysWhovia. It’s a long ride through the snow. Let’s make it cozy!

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Oh hey! Dan and Maureen are swinging into the first week of 2024 with ease and style! Maureen has left behind her dead snake and gotten a fast car back to New York City because things got complicated. Dan dropped his son off at the airport to return to school and is definitely not still crying. But also, VAXXING. Because COVID is back for year four. And would you believe it, it’s infecting people in the SAME EXACT WAY it surges every year. Who would have known.

Meanwhile, Trump is in court in Washington DC to try to argue that being President gave him superpowers. It’s not going well. And actual New York City mayor Eric Adams is under fire for a recently unearthed 2009 book about school safety in which he tells the story of taking a loaded gun to school. Or did he? Take a gun to school? Or tell that story to a ghostwriter who got it wrong? Or have a ghostwriter? Or even make the book at all? It’s a study into whether or not books or writers are even real, and Maureen is INTO IT.

Also, Dan has to watch three Twilight movies. He can’t edit this out of the notes. These notes were written by a ghost.

Booooooo!

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Welcome to 2024, motherf****rs.

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