Says Who?

We’re nine years old! We did it! Dan cannot believe it. He really, really can’t. 

He also can’t believe that someone ELSE tried to kill Trump. They were gonna kill that guy! But he didn’t. He was just your average weirdo with an AR-15 in a bush at a Florida golf course. And no one seems to care very much? Even Trump? It’s another normal day in America! Speaking of normal things and Trump, he’s also gotten into crypto! Neither Dan or Maureen can believe he’s taken this long to get involved. We are very close to the 2024 election and this is where we’re at.

But this week is about new starts as well. Will Maureen start a new planner? Will she learn to balance her life? Will she stop talking about Stanley cups? What is social media in 2024? And what happened that one time Dan tried to buy a car? YOU ARE NOT EXPECTING WHAT COMES NEXT.

Blow out the candles, Says Who! Here’s to nine more years!

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SaysWhovia,

Dan and Maureen stayed up late to debate the debate. Then Dan stayed up later to edit it. For stupid reasons, his mic sounds like shit. Sorry.

ZZZZzzzzZZzzzzZZZzzzzzzz

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

It’s September! Dan and Maureen are back! SCHOOL IS IN SESSION.

What did they do on their summer vacation? They certainly went many places. Mostly, though, they miss dangerous playgrounds. Ones with tall, metal slides and things that spin and vats of broken glass. Yay! What happened while they were traveling the world? Weird stuff! Really, really weird stuff! Trump brought NFTs back, RFK got a whale head, JD Vance tried to shake a human fist. Stuff like that!

Now that it’s fall, it’s time to prepare for next week’s debate, the last eight weeks of this weird, weird election, and a trip to Disney!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

It’s the height of summer! Dan’s on the road, coming in from a Colorado hotel room. Maureen is about to head out on the road on her (somewhat delayed) US tour and then a UK tour! It’s travel season! And it’s been three weeks since the 2024 Presidential race turned upside-down. And Trump is taking it maturely and well, and by that we mean that he has gone back to Twitter because no one is looking at him with the same googly-eyed stare that he used to get. And his crowd size is FINE. It’s GREAT. It’s the MOST THAT HAS EVER CROWDED. It’s not all he cares about, but it is about 99.9% of what he cares about.

He needs a coping strategy. We know of one.

Meanwhile, Biden is coasting in his last semester, so Maureen and Dan have ideas about what he could be doing to have a RAD SUMMER. Speaking of RAD SUMMERS, Says Who will be off for the next two weeks while Maureen and Dan go about their travels. But don’t worry. Nothing ever happens when they’re gone.

Nothing can go wrong now, SaysWhovia.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Look, we’re going to talk about Tim Walz, but Maureen has a book out and has COVID and is writing this notes.
 

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Maureen is sick, Dan is tired, but there's no stopping the vibe shift that has swept the nation with Biden dropping out and Kamala Harris speed-running her new candidacy. But most importantly, Democrats are finally saying the thing that Maureen and Dan have been saying all along: Trump and his goons are all deeply, deeply weird people.

Also, JD Vance f*cks a couch.

Welcome to the new presidential race, jump on in the water's warm.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

It's been one week.

One.

Week.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Maureen is overloaded with energy. She is crackling. She just set the rug on fire. Dan Dan bring her down to earth? Yes, yes he can. With his tales of self-care, being a dad, and…uh oh! Maureen touched a piece of paper and it also caught on fire. She cannot feel her hand. Help.

Luckily, it’s just a week of seismic electoral shifts. The UK unsticks the right-wing underbelly. France flushes the fascists. And the US…

What IS going on in the US? Is Biden running? Does anyone know?

Maureen has calmed down. She is sitting on a spiky mat. Come and try it, SaysWhova. It is very sharp. It will calm you.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

This week, Dan and Maureen…

…are trying. Look, you guys, they’re trying. 

Have you *seen* this week? That’s what they’re talking about.

SaysWhovia 2024: help us carry the body!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Hello SaysWhovia, 

Do you like a train wreck? Do you like your life flashing before your eyes? Do you like two octogenarians arguing about golf? Do you like to hear Maureen and Dan at the end of their ropes?

You're in luck. 

Everyone else, sorry.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho