First, Maureen wants to talk about the terrible and entirely predictable story of the missing submarine. Maureen has been thinking a lot about things that go in the water as she has spent the weekend in the Thousand Islands. She suggests that SaysWhovia resettle there. It is peaceful and lush, with clear water and nice people who commute on jet skis and eat ice cream all day. Dan likes this idea, but has other things on his mind.  In a move that he takes as a personal attack, Trump’s initial Florida trial date has been set for August, exactly when he has to take his son to college. It probably won’t happen then, but who knows. Also, something something Hunter Biden. All of this leads to a larger discussion of what 2024 is *really* going to be like. Tl;dr: really weird! All the time.

Then suddenly it’s all about whales who wear hats—and Maureen bursts into song.

All aboard, SayWhovia! Time to dive!

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Maureen insisted that Dan get off the airplane and record because a few things have happened since he left for Disney World.

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Greetings SaysWhovia! By the time you read this, Dan is already halfway up Big Thunder Mountain and Maureen is packing for beautiful checks notes Syracuse. Yes, it's summertime in SaysWhovia, and that means things are getting a little loose. 

But not so loose that Maureen and Dan miss the BIG NEWS, that the MAN THAT EVERYONE WANTED TO KILL, Mike Pence, has decided to run for president. And what better way to convince a lot of people that literally erected a gallows in your honor to vote for you than by appearing in the least authentic way possible? 

Vroom vroom, here he comes!

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This week, Maureen gets to the bottom of her notebook crisis. Dan has an emotional breakthrough at a barbecue. And Ron DeSantis enters the ring in the most SaysWhovian way possible.

Grab another Spicy Sizzler Sando, SaysWhovia! Because we’re not going anywhere!

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Welcome to this week’s Says Who, where… oh, Maureen’s already off the rails. She needs to tell you all about her gynecologist’s TV career and all of his bees. 

Dan tries to steer the car back on to the road to Florida, where Ron DeSantis continues tilting at windmills and Marco Rubio gets mad at a distant baseball game. But Maureen lunges for the wheel again. 

Since this week is about weird hobbies and grifters, why not bring it all home to the Says Who commune. Maureen has a plan to fund it. Dan likes it.

Put on these CBD pajamas, SayWhovia. It’s time to make some money.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Well, SaysWhovia, we begin this week with tales of Rudy Giuliani—terrible tales that Dan and Maureen go over in not great detail, because the details are not great. (For those worried about the more upsetting content, we skip this completely. We’ve got your back on this.) There are tales of pardons for sale and bags of phones. Which somehow leads Dan to a long discussion of the Most Dan Side Quest Ever, and the adventures of an imaginary Ron and fake Paul Stanley from KISS, a sinkhole, a suitcase full of money, and Gary. We’ve found it everyone. We’ve reached peak Dan! We did it!

This has to be heard to be believed. Maureen is still resting in a quiet room with a cool cloth on her temples, trying to take it all in.

We are the SaysWhovians, you know? And we’re back in town.

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In a SaysWho first, Dan and Maureen break into their own podcast with... another podcast. 

Literally the moment after they finished recording today's episode which was about the E Jean Carroll lawsuit against Donald Trump, the verdict came in. So, back to the microphones! Then, during that, George Santos is charged with…something? 

So, it's one of those easy days. Also Maureen may have a new boyfriend.

Hold on to your butts, SayWhovia. This one comes at you fast.

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Once again, Maureen is in Pennsylvania, surrounded by eagles, beavers, turtles, and floating sheds. Dan is in Chicago, marveling at the new adult human he has produced. And that’s it!

Well, until Dan goes pro and gets to the news. Trans rights and humanity are under attack, and Maureen…well, Maureen goes off.

(Content note: trans friends, this one should be a-okay to listen to because instead of hearing bad stuff with no pushback you get to listen to Maureen throwing f-bombs at a once-beloved wizard lady for about ten minutes.)

Get your waders on, SaysWhovia. We’re going in deep.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Maureen’s fresh off a plane from Los Angeles, full of tacos and weird vibes. Dan is in his workshop, full of ideas and news. So many things to talk about. There’s the Fox lawsuit settlement. There’s Tucker, and Dom, and Nate Silver, and the Pillow Guy.

But there’s also a very excited shoe, A very excited shoe. We’re about to do 2020 all over again. Low and slow.

Walk with us, SaysWhovia. We have a lot to discuss.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Does anyone have a pillow or blanket? Dan’s here, at least in body. He has just arrived back from LA and he has not slept. Maureen is worried.

Against medical advice, Dan proceeds to the news. It’s the next chapter in the Disney saga. DeSantis is taking things personally. Things are getting weird. Do you know how hard it is to be weird in Florida?

Meanwhile, Dan should really go to bed.

Get cozy, SaysWhovia. It’s time to curl up and listen to a man fall apart in real time.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho