Why knowing the right choice doesn’t mean we’ll make it—self-sabotage, permission, and productivity guilt.

Support the pod:

BetterHelp:

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.

If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/

The Maca Team:

Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it.

http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy

promo code: bearcub for 10% off

Light Phone:

Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it.

https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn

promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III

______

Why do we avoid the things we know are good for us?

In this episode of Second Hand Therapy, we unpack the frustrating loop of knowing the right choice—and still doing the opposite. From routines, gym habits, food decisions, and productivity, to deeper conversations about permission, self-worth, and why “doing the task” isn’t the same as experiencing it.

We talk about:

All-or-nothing thinking and overwhelm

Why productivity becomes identity

Permission, avoidance, and self-sabotage

Therapy insights on routine, ADHD, and motivation

The difference between function and joy

Why caring for yourself feels harder than it should

This is a raw, funny, and uncomfortable conversation about self-discipline, self-compassion, and why taking care of yourself isn’t as simple as “just doing it.”

We’re not therapists. This is not professional advice.

BUSINESS INQUIRIES: [email protected]

Contact us:

Anxiety with no trigger, body image shame, food guilt, and the pressure of becoming your “higher self.”

Support the pod:

BetterHelp:

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.

If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/

The Maca Team:

Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it.

http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy

promo code: bearcub for 10% off

Light Phone:

Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it.

https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn

promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III

______

What does it mean when anxiety shows up with no trigger? In this episode of Second Hand Therapy, we talk about living with anxiety in the body, learning to stop fighting it, and the frustration of being told to “just calm down.”

We unpack vulnerability, validation, and why some people need their feelings acknowledged out loud—while others don’t. The conversation turns to body image, weight gain, food guilt, perfectionism, and why moderation feels impossible for some people.

We also explore parts work, routines vs survival mode, and the pressure of the “higher self” mindset—when motivation turns into self-shame.

This episode is an honest, funny, and uncomfortable look at anxiety, mental health, food, and learning how (and when) to show up for yourself.

BUSINESS INQUIRIES: [email protected]

Contact us:

People-pleasing, fear of failure, and how your mom’s voice became your inner critic.

Support the pod:

BetterHelp:

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.

If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/

The Maca Team:

Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it.

http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy

promo code: bearcub for 10% off

Light Phone:

Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it.

https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn

promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III

______

Why is it so hard to say “I don’t know”?

In this episode of Second Hand Therapy, we unpack people-pleasing, fear of failure, and the invisible ways our parents shape our inner critic. One host shares what therapy is revealing about his need to be “nice,” his terror of messing up, and how his relationship with his mother quietly programmed his fear of rejection.

We talk about:

People-pleasing as a trauma response

Fear of failure and perfectionism

Why being “nice” blocks real connection

Feelings vs facts (and the stories we tell ourselves)

Productivity as a substitute for self-worth

Learning to say no without guilt

Wanting your parent to be more — and turning that disappointment inward

This episode explores how abandonment fear, emotional control, and self-worth get tangled together — and what it looks like to start unlearning those patterns in real time.

We’re not therapists. We’re just two people in therapy, talking honestly about what we’re learning.

If you struggle with people-pleasing, approval-seeking, fear of being disliked, or feeling like you’re never enough, this episode will hit close to home.

BUSINESS INQUIRIES: [email protected]

Contact us:

When someone yells at your mom: anger, boundaries, emotional control, and doing the right thing.

______

-BetterHelp:

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.

If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/

-The Maca Team:

Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it.

http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy

promo code: bearcub for 10% off

-Light Phone:

Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it.

https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn

promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III

______

What do you do when you hear someone raise their voice at your mom — and everything in your body wants to explode?

Today, we unpack a tense holiday moment that forces a deeper conversation about anger, boundaries, family dynamics, and emotional regulation. Louie shares a confrontation with his mother’s partner, before reflecting on how rage, fear, and protection instincts show up — even after years of therapy.

We also talk about:

Navigating a complicated relationship with your mother

Why “doing the right thing” can still feel awful

Anger vs. self-control and what emotional maturity actually looks like

Loneliness during the holidays and the push-pull of wanting connection

Learning to validate yourself instead of tearing yourself apart

What it means to be proud of yourself for the first time

This episode is about breaking old patterns, choosing accountability over aggression, and learning how to sit with uncomfortable emotions instead of acting them out.

We’re not therapists. We’re just two people in therapy, talking through what we’re learning in real time.

If you’re struggling with family conflict, holiday depression, anger issues, or feeling behind in life, this one’s for you. Thanks for being here... Secondhand Therapy.

BUSINESS INQUIRIES: [email protected]

Contact us:

Lou still hates a mismatch as he struggles with his desire to be more vulnerable. Lou and Michael discuss what it means to ask for emotional support. Lou's therapist dropped a bombshell on where shame comes from, especially if you had emotionally immature parents or if your parents always fixed your mistakes for you. Lou takes care of everything and hates it and loves it. Lou and Michael talk about whether we are alone in life. Sidenote: you can hear the extreme winds that spread fire across Los Angeles, throughout the episode. We did our best with the audio.

______

-BetterHelp:

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.

If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/

-The Maca Team:

Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it.

http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy

promo code: bearcub for 10% off

-Light Phone:

Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it.

https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn

promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III

______

BUSINESS INQUIRIES: [email protected]

Contact us:

We welcome Jenny Zigrino to discuss loss, coping, addictive behaviors, and disordered eating—and what real recovery looks like when you stop avoiding the pain underneath it all.

An honest conversation about grief, relapse, shame, emotional regulation, and learning healthier ways to cope when life feels overwhelming.

______

-BetterHelp:

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.

If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/

-The Maca Team:

Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it.

http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy

promo code: bearcub for 10% off

-Light Phone:

Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it.

https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn

promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III

______

In this episode, we have an honest, unfiltered conversation about grief, coping mechanisms, addiction, recovery, and eating disorders—and how deeply connected they often are. We explore how unresolved grief can fuel addictive behaviors, disordered eating, emotional avoidance, and unhealthy coping strategies, and what recovery actually looks like beyond surface-level fixes.

We talk about substance addiction, behavioral addiction, food addiction, binge eating, restriction, relapse, emotional regulation, trauma responses, and shame, and how these patterns show up in everyday life and relationships. The conversation also touches on mental health recovery, therapy, self-awareness, harm reduction, relapse prevention, and building healthier coping tools when life feels overwhelming.

This episode is for anyone navigating loss, grief, addiction recovery, eating disorder recovery, mental health struggles, or the long, nonlinear process of healing. It’s raw, compassionate, and focused on understanding—not judgment.

BUSINESS INQUIRIES: [email protected]

Contact us:

Michael starts off dissecting his newfound daddy issues and how validation and disappointment plays into his life before getting into his younger self. Lou and Michael get into their individual desires to express more gratitude. Lou explores the dichotomy of having a great life but not feeling great all the time before discussing EMDR.

______

-BetterHelp:

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.

If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/

-The Maca Team:

Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it.

http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy

promo code: bearcub for 10% off

-Light Phone:

Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it.

https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn

promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III

______

BUSINESS INQUIRIES: [email protected]

Contact us:

Louie’s therapist tells him his “direct communication” is actually defensiveness — and it sends him into an identity spiral. We talk about fear, softness, control, relationship triggers, autism traits, wanting to be chosen, and why saying “I’m scared and sad” feels like death.

______

-BetterHelp:

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.

If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/

-The Maca Team:

Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it.

http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy

promo code: bearcub for 10% off

-Light Phone:

Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it.

https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn

promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III

______

We dig into the messy reality of defensiveness, vulnerability, emotional expression, fear, control, and communication patterns inside relationships. Louie shares how his therapist told him that his “direct communication” is actually a defense mechanism, and the conversation spirals into emotional avoidance, softness, and why saying “I’m scared and sad” feels impossible.

We break down:

Why “direct communication” can actually be emotional defensiveness

How vulnerability gets blocked by masculinity, shame & fear

Autism traits, miscommunication, and not hearing what isn’t said

Wanting to be chosen, fear of losing connection, and relationship insecurity

Control vs. fear: trying to protect connection vs. micromanaging outcomes

How delivery affects emotional safety (soft vs. blunt communication)

Why asking for comfort feels like weakness

Emotional funks, depression cycles, ADHD patterns & medication fears

Relationship honesty, lying, guilt, and the messy ethics of confession

It’s raw, chaotic, vulnerable, funny, and painfully relatable — the perfect mix for a mental health, relationships, therapy talk podcast.

BUSINESS INQUIRIES: [email protected]

Contact us:

Michael talks about shutting down over Thanksgiving, emotional numbness, and the messy reality of grief. Louie breaks down triggers, embarrassment, childhood patterns, and why certain moments feel like personal attacks.

______

-BetterHelp:

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.

If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/

-The Maca Team:

Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it.

http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy

promo code: bearcub for 10% off

-Light Phone:

Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it.

https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn

promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III

______

In this week’s episode of Secondhand Therapy, we unpack the complicated mix of grief, emotional numbness, triggers, anger, and childhood conditioning that still shapes adult reactions. Michael opens up about spending Thanksgiving in bed, feeling emotionally shut down, and exploring why certain moments hit harder than others. Louie challenges him on avoidance, grief processing, and the stories we tell ourselves when intense emotions show up.

We also dive into:

Why holiday grief hits unexpectedly

Emotional numbness vs. dissociation

Organizing grief so it stops overwhelming everything

How embarrassment and shame block emotional release

Anger, frustration, and “pretending” to be healed

Nervous system triggers and why they feel like aggression

Childhood patterns around attention and how they show up in adulthood

Customer service, disappointment, and why small moments can activate big wounds

This is a raw, honest conversation about grief, emotional regulation, inner child responses, triggers, vulnerability, self-awareness, and healing,.

BUSINESS INQUIRIES: [email protected]

Contact us:

Louie shares a dream about his late partner that cracks open a huge conversation about grief, avoidance, triggers, and what it means to actually move forward. Michael challenges him, things get tense, and it turns into one of our most honest episodes yet.

______

-BetterHelp:

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.

If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/

-The Maca Team:

Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it.

http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy

promo code: bearcub for 10% off

-Light Phone:

Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it.

https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn

promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III

______

In this deeply personal episode of Second Hand Therapy, we unpack dreams, grief, unresolved emotions, and the complicated ways they show up in everyday life. Louie opens up about a dream involving his late partner and how it challenged his beliefs around meaning, symbolism, and emotional closure. Michael pushes back with questions about avoidance, grief processing, and what it means to “move forward” after loss.

Together, we explore:

How dreams connect to subconscious processing

The difference between honoring grief vs. being defined by it

Avoidance, emotional triggers, and why they resurface years later

How unresolved childhood and adult grief compounds

Moving forward without “leaving someone behind”

What it looks like when grief unexpectedly “finds you”

This episode is a vulnerable, honest look at grief, trauma, emotional regulation, subconscious processing, healing, and the messiness of being human—delivered with the same humor, tension, and real friendship you expect from this show.

BUSINESS INQUIRIES: [email protected]

Contact us: