Secret Habit: Porn Recovery for Christian Men

What to expect in the first 90 days after quitting porn from a couple's perspective. 

Most men today are completely lost when it comes to healing from porn. They’re left to white knuckle, manage their lust and throw mud against the wall hoping something will finally work. The reality is that the first 90 days of recovery are tough! It can feel impossible to make it through these days when your body is experiencing withdrawals that cause pain and discomfort. But what if these days were just part of the process? What if the withdrawals and discomforts were a sign that you were healing?

Get ready to learn about:

• First 2 stages of Porn Addiction Withdrawal Symptoms
• What's going on inside your brain, body, and mind (and how they’re different)
• What you can expect to experience and feel as you move through the stages
• The mindset shifts sobriety requires
• Simple daily and weekly action steps to help you move through each stage.
• How to look ahead to better days so you can get through anything today

If you’ve been listening to this and you feel stuck or unclear, I want to invite you into a conversation.

This isn’t about pressure or selling you something.It’s a space to slow things down, look at what’s actually going on, and help you get clear on the problem so you can start seeing the right path forward.

If that would be helpful for you, you can book a free call with me here:👉 ⁠secrethabit.ca/call⁠

If you’re not ready for that step yet, you can start with my free Porn Withdrawal Survival Guide:👉 ⁠https://secrethabit.ca/porn-addiction-withdrawal-symptoms/⁠

And if you want to learn more about me and the work I do, you can head here:👉 ⁠shawnbonneteau.com⁠

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:

1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠

2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠

3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠

"The 6 conflicting forces" Shawn digs into today will give you a deeper insight into how to identify an addiction to porn and understand the root issues beneath the surface. Get ready to learn about how porn addiction is driven by deprivation, dissociation, futility, unconscious arousal, lust and anger. In this groundbreaking concept, you will learn all about why you do what you do, why you can't seem to stop watching porn and what is standing in the way from you experiencing freedom.

Topics of discussion in this episode:

1. Deprivation: Denying yourself the fulfilment of God-given needs and wants (AKA. necessities)

2. Dissociation: Disconnecting and disengaging from thinking, feeling and remembering

3. Futility: A lack of purpose, meaning or motivation

4. Arousal: Conditioned and turned on by things from our past

5. Anger: when left unchecked it becomes controlling and entitled

6. Lust: when left unchecked it becomes selfish and covetous

*This is an audio clip from Shawns "Porn Recovery Accelerator" - His all-in-one coaching system for Christian men who want to find lasting freedom from porn. This video was inspired by Chapter 8 of Jay Stringer's book Unwanted.

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:

1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠

2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠

3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:

1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠

2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠

3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠

When we try and do things alone and avoid vulnerability, we become blind to the things that we cannot see. Also, when we are alone, shame can easily develop and cause us to isolate ourselves further. The partnership of Isolation and shame is incredibly dangerous… especially for those who are struggling with porn addiction. Many men that I work with feel as if others will judge them, which is not something I have ever seen in the Secret Habit community. Many men feel as if others do not have the time for them, which again, is amazing when it's reiterated that they can call them anytime, and sadly, many men simply feel as if they do not matter, which, if you’re breathing air, then you matter because God made you and you matter to Him.

In this episode, Shawn is going to help you understand what it means to become vulnerable with trusted people in your life and why it is vital to your recovery from porn addiction. Sometimes people think they have to seek help from someone like a coach or a therapist, and I'm all for that... but I want you to understand that you can seek help right now, with someone in your life, simply by opening up and being real. The power of vulnerability will blow your mind when you begin to apply it with the right people in your life.

Get ready to learn about:

- The common struggles men face when becoming vulnerable during their struggle with porn.

- The role of shame in our lives and how it keeps us from opening up

- Why vulnerability is so important to your porn recovery 

- Practical steps that you can apply literally today

*This is an audio clip from Shawns "Porn Recovery Accelerator" - His all-in-one coaching system for Christian men who want to find lasting freedom from porn. 

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:

1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠

2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠

3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:

1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠

2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠

3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠

In the past, it was widely believed that porn addiction wasn’t real; that it was just a myth made up by moralists trying to control people’s behavior. However, more and more studies have shown that pornography impact the brain in very serious ways. On top of that, porn addiction has been proven to cause serious problems in your work, relationships and your sense of personal health and well-being. If you’re constantly preoccupied with watching porn or engaging in other sexual activities, if you keep going back to pornography despite negative consequences in your life, or if you’re just beginning to experience symptoms like restlessness and irritability when you’re not online looking at porn, it could be time to do something about it. To help you take action and really do something about this, let's define what an addiction really is and reveal the top 10 signs that you have an addiction to porn.

In this episode, you will learn about The Top 10 Signs You May Be Addicted to Porn:

An addiction to porn has 3 characteristics (and this goes for any addiction)

Listen to this podcast or read our blog to learn about The Top 10 Signs You May Have an Addiction to Porn

Website: Secret Habit

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:

1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠

2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠

3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:

1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠

2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠

3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠

What are the benefits when you quit porn?

Because there are so many benefits when you quit porn, we believe that it is paramount for you to shift your mind to these very things. It's these benefits that will motivate and inspire when the going gets tough. Having a vision of the goodness available when you stop watching porn is one of the best ways to get fully committed to the recovery process. However, we also know it's important to share both sides - The negative and the positive outcomes. That way you will be able to have a point A and a point B in mind. With that in mind, here are 8 benefits of quitting porn that you may have never considered before.

In this episode, you will learn more about 8 Benefits of Quitting Porn:

1) Greater intimacy

2) Self-confidence

3) Increased energy

4) Better concentration

5) Improved mood

6) Living in the present

7) Better relationships

8) Gaining respect from others

Website: Secret Habit

Read our recent Blog about: 8 Benefits Of Quitting Porn  (you can find the tips on what we talked about in this podcast)

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:

1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠

2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠

3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:

1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠

2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠

3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠

When you’re trying to break free from porn and the shame that goes with it, having an accountability partner can make all the difference in your success or failure. Your partner doesn’t need to be your pastor or someone in your church, but if you can find one there, that’s great! But you can also go online and find a community of people who are going through the same thing as you. And really, these are your friends, so make sure you choose people who will care about your struggles and not hold them against you.

In this episode, you will learn more about:

- The Benefits Of An Accountability Partner For Pornography Addiction

- How To Ask For An Accountability Partner For Pornography Addiction

- How To Choose An Accountability Partner For Pornography Addiction

- Is My Family Member A Good Choice As An Accountability Partner For Pornography Addiction?

- What To Do When You've Made Progress And Become Accountable By Yourself

-  How To Tell If An Accountability Partner Is Lying To You Or Dishonest About Their Sexual History And Current Behaviours

-

Website: Secret Habit

Read our recent Blog about: What are Christian accountability partners for porn recovery?  (you can find the tips on what we talked about in this podcast)

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:

1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠

2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠

3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:

1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠

2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠

3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠

If you’re addicted to masturbation and/or pornography, then you may not be able to enjoy sex with your partner like you used to before you became addicted. Perhaps your sex drive isn’t very strong and you can’t get an erection, or maybe your preoccupation with porn and masturbating has led to trouble in other areas of your life, including your relationship with your wife. But what exactly happens in the brain when you become addicted to porn? How do you know if porn addiction has affected your brain chemistry? And how can that change be dealt with?

- How addiction to porn destroys your sexual health from a mind/body perspective:

- How We Got Here

- Why is it important to understand God's design for sexuality in relation to addiction to porn

For the women who want further help: Betrayal Trauma Online Course

Here is a blog post about: How Porn Destroys Sexual Health 

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Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:

1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠

2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠

3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:

1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠

2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠

3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠

The dreaded and tragic moment so many couples face... Being caught watching porn, finding porn on their phone and/or other sudden ways that the secret comes out are devastating to both parties... With stats showing us that upwards of 70% of Christian men, 25% of Christian women and 56% of pastors watch porn regularly, we must realize that getting caught with porn is a normal and traumatic event that is happening all too often these days...

The sad part about all of this is that it hurts both parties deeply... The man faces an immense shame of being seen in his failure to do "right" and the woman faces immense shame wondering what she did "wrong".  The man faces the reality that his protective layer is gone, he can no longer hide and the depth of his struggle is now known. The woman faces the reality that she doesn't know who she married, her trust is destroyed and she loses any safety she thought she had.

Shawn and Helena share in this episode from their hearts because they have experienced this horrific experience... Shawn was lying and hiding porn from Helena for over a year. When he was finally found out and the truth came out, he was left to find answers to his problems. For Helena, she was rocked by the news, hurt and betrayed. This caused the first 9 months of their marriage to be an uphill battle that they don't want to see couples have to go through!

In this episode, you will learn more about:

-What happens to the man and the woman when this devastation occurs

-What it means to grieve the pain of finding out about your partner's porn addiction

-Letting Jesus into the pain

-Breaking down shame with 5 expert tips

-The results of quitting porn, healing the relationship and coming out of the darkness

For the women who want further help:

Episode 34 of the Secret Habit podcast on "setting boundaries"

Episode 10 of the Secret Habit podcast on "betrayal trauma"

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Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:

1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠

2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠

3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠

Faulty Core Beliefs are like the roots of a tree that produces rotten fruit... The roots dictate the quality of fruit. Sadly, our belief system is developed in our formative years of life, meaning, when we're young... yet, they have a lifelong impact that can keep us in bondage.

In this episode, Shawn and Helena dig into what core beliefs are, why they matter and what we can do to make them new. This is all built on the fact that in Jesus we are all given the power to be renewed, redeemed and transformed! We believe His power is our only hope when it comes to the deep seeded roots that need His healing touch.

In this jam-packed episode, get ready to learn all about:

- The difference between thoughts and beliefs

- The difference between shame and guilt

- The most common faulty core beliefs we hear from the clients we work with

- How to define the lies, beliefs and influences in your life

- The 6 step prayer to help you pinpoint, uproot and renew your belief system

- Agreeing with truth on a regular basis

- How this all ties into porn addiction, unwanted sexual behaviours and betrayal trauma

--

Credit to "Restoring The Foundations" ministry for their work on ungodly core beliefs

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:

1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠

2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠

3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:

1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠

2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠

3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠

"The quality of your foundation will dictate the quality of your recovery". Because we believe this to be true, we are passionate to help men and women build their recovery foundation on the love and truth of Jesus Christ. It is in Him that we can experience what we long for - unconditional love that sees us, hears us and knows us, no matter what we do or do not do!

In this episode, Shawn and Helena unpack the content found in module 4 of the Secret Habit Recovery Accelerator - "Biblical Foundations". 

Topics we will discuss:

- The 4 Principles of The Gospel

- Spiritual Health

- Confession and Repentance

- Spiritual Warfare

- Partnering the Bible + Psychology

- Posturing our hearts to Gods truth

- Healthy discipline driven by love

- Developing a relationship with God

We really want men and women to experience the love of God in all areas of their lives. We are all sexually broken and we all need the unconditional love of the Father to help us in our weakest times. It is only through Christ that we can dismantle lies, surrender our lives and receive THE truth. Because God wants your belovedness to change the way you live, not for you to change the way you live to receive your belovedness! We have seen it SO many times - Gods love transforming men and women. When we start receiving His love and put an end to the constant condemnation, we get out of isolation and get into relationship. And its in relationship that we can thrive - with God, with our spouse, with others. We all need safe and loving connection, and it al starts with God.

All of this is foundational to not only quitting porn or overcoming unwanted sexual behaviours, but it is fundamental to your thriving as a child of God... This is where we believe men and women experience freedom from addition, but even better, they experience freedom for a greater purpose!

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here:

1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠

2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠

3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠