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Isabel Knight, also known as The Death Designer, operates a unique business focused on end-of-life planning. She employs principles of human-centered design to assist individuals in navigating the complexities of death care. This approach involves co-creating systems and products with users to ensure they meet their needs effectively. 

Isabel emphasizes the importance of making death care more human-centered, aiming to alleviate the stress and confusion often associated with the process. She guides people in obtaining death certificates, understanding funeral options, and initiating difficult conversations about end-of-life preferences.

Isabel acknowledges that her clientele extends beyond those planning for themselves to include caregivers and family members of terminally ill individuals. She observes a cultural reluctance to engage in discussions about death, which she attributes to societal attitudes toward self-worth and aging. Isabel challenges these perceptions, advocating for the celebration of individuals' lives and the recognition of caregiving as a reciprocal act.

In addition to her consultations, Isabel advocates for more sustainable and inclusive practices within the death care industry. She discusses alternative methods of disposition, such as water cremation and natural organic reduction, which offer environmentally friendly alternatives to traditional burial and cremation. Isabel also addresses the need for greater inclusivity in death care, particularly for marginalized communities like the polyamorous and non-monogamous.

Through workshops and collaborative initiatives, Isabel facilitates discussions among diverse groups to identify gaps and biases in existing death care systems. By centering the experiences of vulnerable populations, she aims to create resources that benefit everyone. Isabel emphasizes the collective wisdom of communities in shaping more equitable and compassionate approaches to death care.

https://www.open-love.org/end-of-life-planning

https://www.thedeathdesigner.com/

https://www.instagram.com/thedeathdesigner/

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Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life. 

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Jen Henry was born and raised in Riverside, California, where she still resides. Her mission, which she refers to as lifestyle recovery, stems from her upbringing as an only child, where everything was handed to her without understanding the value of need or want. Despite having both parents, she felt disconnected and misunderstood, with her emotional intensity often overwhelming those around her.

Tragedy struck early in Jen's life with the loss of numerous family members and friends, leading her to question the purpose of life and indulge in reckless behaviors, including drug use. Despite her intelligence and early academic prowess, she found herself bored and disconnected in school, eventually succumbing to substance abuse by her teenage years.

Jen's descent into addiction led to a cycle of arrests and incarcerations, which she initially saw as a form of salvation but ultimately realized worsened her situation. Despite attempts at rehabilitation through programs like Alcoholics Anonymous, she struggled with codependency and a lack of self-identity, leading to relapses and further turmoil.

Over the past 13 years, Jen has navigated the challenges of choosing life over addiction, grappling with existential questions and shifting her perspective on death. She acknowledges the support of her ancestors and believes in their continued presence, guiding her through life's struggles.

Despite skepticism from others, Jen's beliefs have propelled her to success, including financial stability, entrepreneurial ventures, and recognition as a bestselling author and motivational speaker. She urges others to focus on what they can control in life, rather than dwelling on external factors beyond their influence.

https://www.unleashingresilience.com

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Support the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support 

Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. 

Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life. 

[email protected] 

https://www.endoflifeclarity.com/end-of-life-planning to learn more about End of Life Care planning and schedule a free 30-minute call.

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Meet Iris Van Nespen, a Belgian emergency room physician turned life coach. She's on a mission to help women, and people in general, reclaim their joy and self-acceptance. Iris emphasizes the importance of recognizing one's own beauty, believing that it leads to a more fulfilling life and, ultimately, contributes to world peace.

Iris delves into the challenge of judgment, both self-judgment and judging others. Drawing from her experience in the emergency room, she emphasizes the need for compassion, especially for patients. Her self-discovery and awareness journey have led her to a more compassionate approach, influencing those around her to do the same.

Reflecting on the healthcare system, Iris sheds light on the paradox doctors face—being overworked, lacking psychological training, and losing a sense of self. She shares a personal story about ignoring health concerns due to her dedication to work, emphasizing the importance of self-care for healthcare professionals.

Iris passionately advocates for a shift towards understanding the reasons behind people's behaviors rather than passing judgment. She touches on the disconnect from nature and the profound impact it has on mental health. Iris encourages reconnecting with the beauty of the planet and embracing our role as part of nature's cycle.

In a poignant moment, Iris shares her experience harvesting apples in France, underscoring the abundance of beauty in the world that often goes unnoticed. Her message resonates with the essence of being present, appreciating life's moments, and acknowledging our interconnectedness with the planet.

Iris van Nispen's journey, from emergency room physician to life coach, highlights the transformative power of self-awareness and compassion. Her insights provide a roadmap for listeners to reclaim joy, foster understanding, and contribute to a more harmonious world.

https://linktr.ee/reclaimyoursparkle

https://www.facebook.com/irisvannespen

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Support the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support 

Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. 

Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life. 

[email protected] 

https://www.endoflifeclarity.com/end-of-life-planning to learn more about End of Life Care planning and schedule a free 30-minute call.

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My guest this week is Deborah Grassman and for 30 years, she served as a hospice nurse practitioner within the Department of Veterans Affairs. While trained as a psychiatric nurse practitioner, her focus shifted towards hospice care, where she unearthed a unique revelation about trauma's transformation at life's end, an aspect not formally identified before.

In her discussions, she shed light on the distinct challenges veterans faced during their end-of-life reflections, often linked to military service, moral injuries, and life reviews.

Veterans exhibited unique needs, and her observations prompted the Hospice Veteran Partnership, later adopted by NHPCO. Her journey accelerated into webinars, films, books, and nationwide training, emphasizing veterans' distinctive end-of-life experiences.

She founded a non-profit, Opus Peace, addressing unexplored aspects of trauma at life's end. Veterans expressed not only PTSD but also a deeper soul injury, feeling lost or disconnected. Recognizing a pattern, she termed it a "soul injury," a wound separating individuals from their authentic selves.

Stoic facades often crumbled at life's end, revealing three impediments: unwarned loss and hurt, unforgiven guilt and shame, and fear of helplessness and loss of control. Recognizing these, her mission became helping people heal their relationship with themselves.

Opus Peace, her non-profit, aimed to propagate the soul injury message, offering tools and concepts. Two books, "Peace at Last" (focused on veterans) and "The Hero Within," focused on healing one's internal hero, could be accessed on their website.

Opus Peace conducted four-day virtual training sessions, providing resources for workshops on soul injury. Online courses, titled "MasterPEACE," covered various topics and holistic tools, making education accessible. Donations were encouraged to support their pioneering work.

https://opuspeace.org/

https://courses.opuspeace.org/

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Support the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support 

Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. 

Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life. 

[email protected] 

https://www.endoflifeclarity.com/end-of-life-planning to learn more about End of Life Care planning and schedule a free 30-minute call.

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Meet Brenda, a Londoner who, at 59, has dedicated most of her career to the charity sector, specifically working with Friends of the Earth, an environmental lobbying organization. Around four or five years ago, Brenda faced a challenging period at work, compounded by issues with her eye health and the onset of menopause. This stress took a toll on her physical health, leading to a month-long absence from work, during which she struggled to eat and experienced an undiagnosed illness.

Reflecting on this stressful time, Brenda and her husband now believe it was primarily stress-related. This experience served as a wake-up call, prompting Brenda to delve into self-development, counseling, and coaching sessions provided by her workplace. Finding coaching immensely helpful, she decided to retrain as a coach and well-being trainer, specializing in mental health awareness, menopause awareness, and stress management.

Transitioning into her mid-fifties, Brenda embraced a new career path, focusing on one-on-one coaching sessions and workshops that empower individuals to plan for their future and approach menopause positively. She also emphasizes the diversity of experiences during menopause, acknowledging that each person is unique.

Brenda discusses her experiences with grief, having faced the loss of her parents,  highlighting the different dynamics of grieving for a mother versus a brother. She emphasizes the importance of dealing with grief in a thoughtful and resilient manner, drawing on the tools she has developed through her own stress management and mental health awareness work.

Having navigated grief personally, Brenda values open conversations about the universal human experience of loss. She recognizes the privilege of having had a strong relationship with her parents and aims to instill gratitude in her own children for the positive experiences they share as a family.

As Brenda approaches her 60th birthday, she reflects on the changing perspectives that come with age. Her newfound sense of purpose and the skills she has acquired allow her to view life with optimism and the belief that doors can open even in later stages. Brenda acknowledges the importance of discussing topics like grief openly and appreciates platforms like podcasts for providing valuable insights into the diverse ways people cope with life's challenges.

https://stresslesscoach.co.uk/

https://www.instagram.com/thestresslesscoach/

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Support the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support 

Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. 

Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life. 

[email protected] 

https://www.endoflifeclarity.com/end-of-life-planning to learn more about End of Life Care planning and schedule a free 30-minute call.

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In the 1970s, Elizabeth Kubler Ross and Dame Cicely Saunders revolutionized our approach to death. While Kubler Ross emphasized the neglect of the dying in America, Saunders proposed a novel philosophy with her Hospice program. The focus shifted from mere medical treatment to a holistic approach of embracing life during the dying process.

Our guest, Barbara Karnes,  a registered nurse, embarked on her hospice journey driven by Saunders' vision. Inspired by the idea of creating a space for living, Barbara started volunteering for hospice.  The original essence of hospice, existing outside the medical model, has been gradually absorbed, and Barbara sees the emergence of end-of-life doulas as a refreshing return to that independent, compassionate approach.

She envisions a future where end-of-life doulas integrate into the hospice model, providing the crucial gift of time that medical professionals often lack. Barbara emphasizes the importance of educating communities about the distinctive role of doulas, urging them to connect with churches, senior citizen communities, and nursing facilities.

The conversation delves into the societal perception of death as a medical emergency and the reluctance to let go. Barbara advocates for a shift in mindset, facilitated through community education and open dialogue about death. She believes that normalizing death will lead to a more balanced approach to living.

Reflecting on historical shifts in how death is handled, Barbara notes a cyclical pattern. From deaths at home to hospital settings and now a return to a preference for dying at home, education plays a crucial role in shaping societal attitudes. She encourages parents to discuss death openly with their children, contributing to a more informed and accepting future.

Barbara's philosophy underscores life as a continual learning process, emphasizing the importance of expressing love regularly. Drawing parallels between life's tightrope walk and our attempts to balance experiences, she stresses the significance of never leaving words unspoken. In the realm of end-of-life care, expressing love becomes a profound and essential practice, echoing the fundamental truth that life is, indeed, a school of learning.

https://bkbooks.com/ for all of Barbara's books and resources

https://www.instagram.com/barbarakarnesrn/

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Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. 

Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life. 

[email protected] 

https://www.endoflifeclarity.com/end-of-life-planning to learn more about End of Life Care planning and schedule a free 30-minute call.

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My guests today are Kathleen McGee, Elder Care Coordinator and Director of Care Coordination at Rothkoff Law Group and Chelsea Duckers, one of the care coordinators at Rothkoff Law Group.

In an ideal world, we'd all proactively plan for future challenges, especially as our needs change with age. Reality often sees us facing issues reactively. Rothkoff clients range from those in good health to those in crisis, spanning the entire spectrum. From recognizing fall risks and home modifications for the healthy and independent, to navigating hospital stays and acute healthcare changes for those in crisis, our care coordination steps in at every stage.

Since the pandemic, they have noticed a positive shift. More people are coming in earlier, expressing a desire to plan ahead rather than waiting for a crisis. The uncertainty and fear during the pandemic have normalized conversations around death, prompting earlier considerations for end-of-life planning.

The pandemic served as a stark reminder that unexpected health challenges can happen at any age. While discussing death remains a societal taboo, the pandemic forced us to confront the idea, challenging us to be a part of our own conversations and make our wishes known. It emphasized the importance of early planning to avoid emotional decision-making during crises.

There is a cultural discomfort with openly discussing death, a discomfort that Rothkoff Law Group aims to alleviate through education around death. Kathleen and Chelsea encourage families to select agents confidently and have conversations with loved ones to avoid the shock of discovering unspoken wishes during times of crisis.

While we understand the societal aversion to discussing death, embracing these conversations can lead to a healthier relationship with the idea of mortality. Creating a dialogue around death can have a profound impact on living more present and fulfilling lives. It's an ongoing journey towards breaking the stigma and embracing the inevitability of death with grace and preparedness.

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Support the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support 

Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. 

Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life. 

[email protected] 

https://www.endoflifeclarity.com/end-of-life-planning to learn more about End of Life Care planning and schedule a free 30-minute call.

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In this episode, my guest is Narinder Bazen, founder of the Nine Keys Death Midwifery Apprenticeship.

In her twenties as a Kundalini yoga and meditation teacher, Narinder found herself officiating weddings, blessing babies, and attending deaths within her community. Embracing her mystic roots, she began offering death care, grief care, and trauma care. 

Our discussion evolves into the challenges of death work in a society that often views it as women's work, carried out freely without adequate support or compensation.

We talk about the current state of holistic death care and Narinder raises concerns about their sustainability, noting a lack of real support and financial viability. There is a need for a fundamental shift in the narrative around death work. 

Narinder advocates for acknowledging the financial realities, addressing systemic pressures, and ensuring that death workers can find sustainability in their vital roles emphasizing the urgency to reevaluate and rework the systems for a more effective and sustainable future.

https://www.narinderbazen.com/ 

https://www.instagram.com/narinder.bazen.death.life

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Support the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support 

Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. 

Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life. 

[email protected] 

https://www.endoflifeclarity.com/end-of-life-planning to learn more about End of Life Care planning and schedule a free 30-minute call.

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In this end-of-2023 episode, my husband Stephen Wilson takes on the role of interviewer, leading a conversation where we explore our intertwined paths and how they've led us to appreciate life's impermanence. Drawing parallels with our careers in food service, we find beauty in life's temporary nature.

The conversation turns personal as we discuss our polyamorous lifestyle and the complexities of navigating aging and end-of-life discussions with multiple partners, prompting introspection on relationships and priorities.

I ask Stephen questions about life, death, and the impact of our discussions on his perspective. The dialogue delves into the intricacies of relationships and the uncharted territory of discussing end-of-life matters with partners.

I am taking a break for the rest of December 2023, I'll return with a new episode on January 7th, 2024. 

Don't miss the upcoming announcements for 2024 offerings by signing up for my newsletter. The link is in the show notes, where you can also grab a copy of my free workbook Living a Better Life.

If you are looking for a small business to support this holiday season, you can subscribe to the paid subscription feature or make a one-time donation to me using Venmo.  

I hope everyone has a safe holiday season and I will be back in 2024!  

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Support the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support 

Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. 

Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life. 

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Patricia Ayers is the Director of Clinical Services at Coras Wellness & Behavioral Health and she spent several years working for hospice and home care agencies. Eventually, she found herself teaching hospice at Stockton University for nine years, a role that she thoroughly enjoyed.

In this episode we talk about how people misunderstand hospice, thinking it's a place to go rather than a program that comes to you wherever you are. Learning about hospice sparked her interest because it seemed like a program everyone should know about. She taught it as a general studies course, attracting students from nursing, physical therapy, mental health, psychology, and social work backgrounds. Over the years, the class gained popularity, and many students found it beneficial, particularly nursing students who faced a significant hospice component in their certifications.

A recurring frustration in her work was witnessing clients sent home on hospice without a clear understanding of what they were signing up for. This lack of communication often led to tense situations when the hospice team explained the program, and families were caught off guard. Sometimes, clients were discharged too late, almost actively dying, causing confusion and distress for families.

One crucial point often overlooked is the relationship between pain and survival. Pain can keep individuals alive due to anxiety, and providing pain control allows them to relax, offering a chance for a peaceful passing. Unfortunately, families often misunderstood this, thinking the team had hastened the process.

The lack of clear communication about hospice and the reluctance to address death in our society bothered her. Patients and families were denied the opportunity to have important conversations and prepare for the inevitable. She designed an exercise for her students to simulate doctor-patient conversations about terminal diagnoses, highlighting the difficulty on both sides.

Patients often had questions about their treatment, side effects, and how it would affect their quality of life. However, discussions about timeframes and how to talk to their families remained challenging for both doctors and patients. Our society tends to avoid discussions about death, preferring to place individuals in nursing homes or hospitals rather than allowing the natural process to unfold at home.


This episode emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and accepting the natural progression of life.

https://coraswellness.org/

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Support the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support 

Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. 

Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life. 

[email protected] 

https://www.endoflifeclarity.com/end-of-life-planning to learn more about End of Life Care planning and schedule a free 30-minute call.

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