How do I forgive my perpetually dysfunctional family? What do you think about the Latin Mass? How do I understand the part of the Litany of Humility that says "from the desire of being loved, deliver me, O Jesus"? Aren't we made for love?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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Q1: My question is about forgiveness. I live in a family with 5 adult kids and there are many dysfunctional patterns of expressing emotion and dealing with conflict. Many of my family members, myself included, have a difficult time forgiving. I know as Catholics, we are called to forgive the way Jesus forgave us; but I don't understand the difference between forgiveness and living in dysfunction. I feel that the dysfunction has to be solved before I can say, "I forgive you" and let things go; but that often leads to holding grudges and resentment, often for days on end. I don't know how to forgive while still addressing dysfunctional dynamics and not becoming a door mat.

Q2: I wanted to know your thoughts on the Traditional Latin mass? Do you believe it was necessary to change the mass in Vatican II? I believe so much of TOB aligns with the traditional Latin mass. I’m drawn to it and the reverence of it, what do you think and have you ever gone to the Latin mass regularly? Thank you for all you do!

Q3: I recently came across the Litany of Humility and I am wondering about how to reconcile this line “from the desire of being loved, deliver me, O Jesus” with marriage. My understanding is that the love of God is sufficient; however, if a marriage is a reflection of the marriage we will have with God in heaven (hopefully), then shouldn’t we desire our spouse to love us? Also, we were created to love and be loved; therefore, why should I pray to not desire love when that’s precisely what I was created for? Only God’s love?

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Resources mentioned this week:

The Chosen TV Series

The Catholic Marriage Summit 2020

Love is Patient but I'm Not by Christopher West

Spirit of the Liturgy by Cardinal Ratzinger

TOB Institute Virtual Conference en Español

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Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

Produced by Sounder and Key.