Apologies for our lack of attendance recently, we've got a note from our Dad. But we're back now, working out the opposite of a Topic, the opposite of a sitcom, and the opposite of a belt.

Don't share. Don't enjoy.

Big Brother is watching. So hide all your cockneys, and brush your teeth. What? No, let's just work out the opposite of those three things instead.

Do not share, and certainly do not enjoy.

It's a sunny day. You're idly checking your email as you sup on a cool Gin and Tonic, with a purring cat sat on your lap. But what's the opposite of all that?

Don't share, don't enjoy.

Which would you rather eat on The Tube? A Lancashire Hot Pot or some French Fries? More importantly, what's the opposite of all those things? Well, that's what we're here to find out.

Don't share. Don't enjoy.

You're walking down a footpath, enjoying the delectable taste of a penaut butter cup, wondering if you left the saw on at home. But what's the opposite of that? That's the question.

Don't share, and don't enjoy.

Can you imagine Father Brown, eating a cupckae, whilst clutching an umbrella? Now, can you imagine the opposite of that image? Well, there's no need, because that's what we're here for.

Don't share. Don't enjoy.

These episode titles are starting to sound like what3words map references. Anyway, this week we work out the opposite of ham, the opposite of a well, and the opposite of a judge.

Don't share. Don't enjoy.

Would you eat a dinosaur chicken nugget with a screwdriver? Or a hedgehog? Both would be good for skewering them and picking them up. But, more importantly, what's the opposite of those things?

Don't share. Don't enjoy.

The new year brings new things to work out the opposite of. Thus, we sink our teeth into a juicy tomato, take a trip on a submarine, and make sure to take our vitamins.

Don't share, and don't enjoy.

Time to slather some cranberry sauce all over our Toblerones, and sit beneath the mistletoe and wait for our kisses. Or, don't do that, just listen to two idiots work out the opposite of those things instead.

Don't share, and don't enjoy.