Shit We Don't Tell Mom

The pressure is real when it comes to having kids. Georgie Ma from Chinese Chippy Girl Podcast talks about growing up as the only Chinese person in school and how it has shaped her to be the mother she is. We discuss the struggles of conceiving a baby, being jealous when friends get pregnant, breastfeeding norms in society, growing up as Chinese immigrant daughters, and the preference for boys over girls in the common Asian household. Regardless if you want kids or not, this episode explores the joys and challenges of motherhood for Asian millennial women. And we talk about sex.

Highlights: 

• Georgie is ovulating! What happens next?! 
• What it’s really like behind closed doors when trying to make a baby 
• Feeling jealous when everyone else was getting pregnant 
• Georgie’s mom didn’t want her as a baby 
• Mom’s devotion to Guan Yin and Chinese herbal pills 
• What would you do if you witnessed racism in a supermarket?
• Microaggression and subtle racism in school 
• How much we love Gen Zs 

Takeaway: 

• Turning 30 means you are reborn again. You start from zero.
• Be considerate when we asking others if they want to have kids 
• Society is telling you your eggs are expiring, but what matters is what you tell yourself
• If you see something is wrong, speak up - even if you might be wrong

Resources:

• Chinese Chippy Girl (Instagram)
• Chinese Chippy Girl Podcast by Georgie Ma
• One Sky Organization (Website)

Episodes mentioned:

• Episode 1: What Is Our Shit?
• Episode 2: Meet Kristy at Baggage Claim
• Episode 3: Meet Angie at Baggage Claim 
• Episode 5: Give Kristy the D
• Episode 6: Give Angie the D 

Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes. Leave us a comment and let us know your favourite episode!

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Support the show

The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.

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Instagram @shitwedonttellmom

Email: [email protected]

www.shitwedonttellmom.com

Send us an audio message by clicking here!

----

We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card!

We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy on creating content rather than editing. Sign up today and get your first 3 months free!

Yes these are affiliate links because we like them and we use them too.

Angie & Kristy read each other’s diaries on the internet. We discuss what is desire, Angie’s dating life, workplace anxiety, murderous dreams, emotional boundaries/dependency, Kristy turns 30, and the signs of old age. We get real vulnerable in this one.

**Content warning: suicide, killing/murder, and body size and weight. **    

Takeaway:    

• Focusing too much on another person is a type of self-abandonment   
• You have to unconditionally love yourself before you can unconditionally love someone else  
• You don’t need to date to feel worthy  
• Comfort eating is okay, but it shouldn’t be the only tool in your toolbox 
• When you’re almost 30, there is always at least 3 body parts that hurt   
• Working on yourself is a forever thing    

Resources: 

• Angie’s Medium Page 
• The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath  

Enjoyed this episode? Share it with a friend! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes and leave us a comment so we know you’re out there :) 

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Let Kristy & Angie know what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you would like to listen to! Record a 60-second voice message and share your thoughts, comments, or questions. Drop your love here!

Instagram @shitwedonttellmom 
Email: [email protected] 

Support the show

The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.

----

Instagram @shitwedonttellmom

Email: [email protected]

www.shitwedonttellmom.com

Send us an audio message by clicking here!

----

We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card!

We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy on creating content rather than editing. Sign up today and get your first 3 months free!

Yes these are affiliate links because we like them and we use them too.

Our new friend Will share's his childhood experience growing up biracial in the deep south. We discuss codependency, people-pleasing tendencies, team cat vs team dog, and cutting toxic parental figures out of our lives for the sake of our own mental health. 

Highlights:

• What does it actually mean to be codependent?
• Are you team dog or team cat? 
• Will speaks about what it's like growing up biracial in the deep south
• Growing up with a parent who never healed themselves 

Takeaways:

• We all get our shit together at a different pace
• Having codependent habits doesn't mean you can't break them
• You can grieve a parent but also feel relieved that the toxicity is gone 
• The bonds you choose to hold on to can mean more than the ones you were born with

Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend who might benefit! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes and leave us a comment so we know what you love about the show!

---- 

Let Kristy & Angie know what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you would like to listen to! Record us a 60-second voice message and share with us your thoughts, comments, or questions. Drop your love here!

Instagram @shitwedonttellmom 
Email: [email protected] 

Support the show

The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.

----

Instagram @shitwedonttellmom

Email: [email protected]

www.shitwedonttellmom.com

Send us an audio message by clicking here!

----

We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card!

We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy on creating content rather than editing. Sign up today and get your first 3 months free!

Yes these are affiliate links because we like them and we use them too.

How do we find fulfillment in our day-to-day jobs? In this episode, Kristy and Angie talk about the career fog that many of us Millennials are trying to find a way out of as we grapple with imposter syndrome, quarter-life crisis, and the crippling fear of failure and social rejection. Added bonus of some ASMR and coochie-cleaning hacks.

Highlights: 

• Kristy attempts at SWDTM ASMR edition
• Imposter syndrome and chasing the non-existent “perfect job”
• Cyber-toothed tiger and fear of social rejection
• Nietschze and eat your fucking chips!
• Angie role plays with Kristy

Takeaway: 

• There is no perfect job and we need to look at both extern and internal factors to our dissatisfaction 
• Check in on yourself when you’re judging yourself and others
• We can’t control our feelings, but we can control our thoughts
• Work through the fear; practice exposure scenarios with friends and start small

Resources:

• The Imposter Syndrome (Video)
• Philosophize This! (Podcast)
• Angie’s Medium piece on life’s checklist (Article)
• Exposure Therapy for Anxiety (Article)

Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend who might benefit! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes and leave us a comment so we know what you love about the show!

---- 

Let Kristy & Angie know what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you would like to listen to! Record us a 60-second voice message and share with us your thoughts, comments, or questions. Drop your love here!

Instagram @shitwedonttellmom 
Email: [email protected] 

Support the show

The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.

----

Instagram @shitwedonttellmom

Email: [email protected]

www.shitwedonttellmom.com

Send us an audio message by clicking here!

----

We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card!

We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy on creating content rather than editing. Sign up today and get your first 3 months free!

Yes these are affiliate links because we like them and we use them too.

Failure: the word we have learned to fear in an Asian household. In this episode, Calven Wang joins us with his perspective on how to overcome the fear of failure, relationship advice for singles, and how we can improve ourselves. He’s also got this bomb ass relationship with his mom that involves hugging. 

Highlights: 

• First break up with a girlfriend 
• The pressures from family to “be someone”
• From 1.49 GPA to being a TA 
• Being jealous in a relationship

Takeaway: 

• There is a difference between seeking comfort and seeking improvement
• Get life advice from people who don't know you very well 
• Many relationship issues can be resolved by bettering yourself 
• Unload your shit with different people rather than the same select few

Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend who might benefit! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes and leave us a comment so we know what you love about the show!

---- 

Let Kristy & Angie know what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you would like to listen to!

Record us a 60-second voice message and share with us your thoughts, comments, or questions. Drop your love here!

Instagram @shitwedonttellmom 
Email: [email protected] 

Support the show

The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.

----

Instagram @shitwedonttellmom

Email: [email protected]

www.shitwedonttellmom.com

Send us an audio message by clicking here!

----

We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card!

We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy on creating content rather than editing. Sign up today and get your first 3 months free!

Yes these are affiliate links because we like them and we use them too.

This episode shows the realistic experience, thoughts, and feelings when we were both depressed at the same time. We talk about potential coping methods and understanding the different drivers that keep us going.

Highlights: 

• Is it possible to have TOO many plants as a millennial plant mama?
• Changing external factors like our environment and the way we look to deal with how we feel internally is only temporary
• Kristy likes to make a man shape with her fingers
• Oxytocin, the "love hormone" and dopamine, "the achievement hormone"
• Angie swears to god she's not high

Takeaway: 

• Talking to someone you trust, even for a little bit, can give you the boost you need to come out of the dark trenches 
• If it's too difficult to journal, send voice notes to yourself or someone you trust if it's something you are comfortable to share
• It's not always obvious that we're depressed, and sometimes it becomes more obvious to others than yourself, but it's okay. Take the time to understand your own cycles and process

Resources:

• The 3 Emotion Regulation Systems (Coping Systems) (Article)
• Oxytocin and long term relationships (Article)
• Oxytocin and female orgasms (Article)
• Master Your Emotions by Thibaut Meurisse (Book)

Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend who might benefit! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes and leave us a comment so we know what you love about the show!

---- 

Let Kristy & Angie know what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you would like to listen to! 

Support the show

The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.

----

Instagram @shitwedonttellmom

Email: [email protected]

www.shitwedonttellmom.com

Send us an audio message by clicking here!

----

We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card!

We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy on creating content rather than editing. Sign up today and get your first 3 months free!

Yes these are affiliate links because we like them and we use them too.

This episode is all about our Chinese moms: their stories, our mother-daughter relationships, and the ever uncomfortable shit when we try to talk with them. 

Highlights:  

• Angie reconciles the disrespect she had for her parents  
• Kristy shares her mom’s story about coming to Canada 
• Physical vs Emotional boundaries with our mothers  
• Short term vs. long term pain in relationships 
• Our moms are having more sex than we are  

Takeaway:  

• Physical boundaries can be very helpful in maintaining healthy relationships. But it’s also an easy way to avoid having uncomfortable talks about emotional boundaries. It’s time to get uncomfortable. 
• Concepts of filial piety are more universal than we may think. 
• If you have the privilege, ask your family about their immigration story.  
• Sometimes we just need to rip the bandaid off. Which area in life are you using a bandaid? 
• Go on a friend date with your mom. 

Resources:  

• Twitter: Tony Lin @tony_zy   
• All Is Well (TV Drama) 
• The Empty Nest Companion by Susan Gross and Briget Bishop (Book)
• The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan (Book)  
• What is Reparenting and How To Begin (Article) 

Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend who might benefit! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes and leave us a comment so we know what you love about the show!

---- 

Let Kristy & Angie know what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you would like to listen to! 

Support the show

The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.

----

Instagram @shitwedonttellmom

Email: [email protected]

www.shitwedonttellmom.com

Send us an audio message by clicking here!

----

We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card!

We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy on creating content rather than editing. Sign up today and get your first 3 months free!

Yes these are affiliate links because we like them and we use them too.

Chop Suey literally translates to “random pieces” in Cantonese. In this episode, Kristy & Angie cook up some chop suey of random shit including filial piety, Chinese Canadian history, and Asian representation in the BLM movement. Of course, there’s some Harry Potter and astrology goodness as well.  

Highlights:  

• What does it mean to “be present”  
• China is basically Westeros  
• Juneteenth March 2020  
• Defining confirmation bias 
• Old vs. New Chinese immigrants  
• Which Pottermore houses are Kristy & Angie in  

Takeaway:  

• If stories are not shared, they will be lost forever  
• Everything we know - labels, stereotypes, astrology, even science - that is all human conjecture  
• Our everyday action will determine if we progress or regress as a society  

Resources:
(There may be affiliate links. We may make a small commission at no cost to you) 

• IG: @blackvancouver 
• Chop Suey Nation by Ann Hui (Book)

Let Kristy & Angie what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you would like to listen to! 

Support the show

The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.

----

Instagram @shitwedonttellmom

Email: [email protected]

www.shitwedonttellmom.com

Send us an audio message by clicking here!

----

We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card!

We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy on creating content rather than editing. Sign up today and get your first 3 months free!

Yes these are affiliate links because we like them and we use them too.

Trauma since 9 y.o. Diagnosed with depression at 29. Telling mom about it.  It’s Angie’s turn to talk about her spirals, diagnoses, and how stigmas against mood disorders and medication had inhibited her from seeking help earlier.

Highlights: 

• Kristy and Angie are geniuses and did not read the manual
• Why do we succumb to the stigmas of mental health and hurt ourselves in that process?
• Finding out decades later that you are genetically predisposed to having depression and anxiety
• Leaky holes

Takeaway:

• Mental health is just as important as physical health, and needs to be treated as such
• Communication with your family is important if there is a history of mental health challenges
• Being diagnosed with depression is not a death sentence; you can still lead a very meaningful, good life
• Accepting your depression and learning to manage it is like taking back the control of your own ship

Resources:

• IG: @lrsglobal

Let Kristy & Angie what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you would like to listen to! 

Support the show

The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.

----

Instagram @shitwedonttellmom

Email: [email protected]

www.shitwedonttellmom.com

Send us an audio message by clicking here!

----

We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card!

We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy on creating content rather than editing. Sign up today and get your first 3 months free!

Yes these are affiliate links because we like them and we use them too.

Kristy talks about her diagnosis with depression and anxiety at age 12 as well as what happened after she got discharged from the psych ward. We explore how her first encounter with mental health professionals has changed the way she views the healthcare and public school system in the 00s compared to what it is like today.  

Highlights:  

• Kristy’s genius idea and how well it worked out  
• What does it mean to be labeled a “troubled kid” in the school system 
• Sharing the same psychiatrist as your dad 

Takeaway: 

• Labels do not define you. Neither does your diagnosis 
• You don’t need to have a full-blown anxiety attack before seeking mental health support  
• Mental health symptoms often start small and unrecognized  
• Toxic masculinity is a huge disadvantage for boys/men. It blinds everyone from noticing mental health symptoms  

Let Kristy & Angie what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you would like to listen to! 

Support the show

The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.

----

Instagram @shitwedonttellmom

Email: [email protected]

www.shitwedonttellmom.com

Send us an audio message by clicking here!

----

We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card!

We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy on creating content rather than editing. Sign up today and get your first 3 months free!

Yes these are affiliate links because we like them and we use them too.