Sick Fiction

Today on Monster Porn: It's fantasy fiction with "Naranca: A Slavic Vampire Myth." Do you think you know vampires? We bring it back to the Slavic origin of vampires with a Ghibli-esque fantasy set in the Balkans.

"Naranca" is an outsider's love letter to Slavic mythology, drawing on Slavic paganism, neo-paganism (Rodnovery), and folklore. What I've created isn't exactly Slavic (any more than Stoker's Dracula is authentically Eastern European), but I wanted to re-import the concept of the vampire from the source material, to make it foreign all over again.

This sort of fantasy fiction isn't our usual fare, but we like variety here, and our key rule is that if it has a monster, it's good to go. If you love monsters, horror, weird fiction, or bizarro fiction be sure to subscribe!

We have new designs in the Monster Porn store! Check out the new shirts, stickers, phone cases, and even a mug! With art by Nic Calavera, Dustin S., and our own Bret Norwood. Use TENTACLE15 for 15% off!

Thanks for the awesome reviews on Apple Podcasts! Please consider leaving one if you haven't already; it's a great way to show your support and give us extra karma in the Apple library!

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Music:

"Blacksmith" by Alexander Nakarada (CC-0) via freepd.com.

"The Zahir (Monster Porn Theme) by Bret Norwood.

Good day, monsterbators!!

Today on Monster Porn: Weird Fiction & Horror Podcast, we present "Maternity Leave" by Matt Cummins. Let's all take some time off work to do some nest-building, monsterbators!

If you enjoy Monster Porn, you can show your support by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts! Thanks for all the awesome reviews you've left so far! They're not so much for us (though we love them), but, rather, they help other new monsterbators discover Monster Porn.

For every 25 new reviews, we'll release a full-length bonus episode!

Also, new designs are coming on our teespring store! teespring.com/stores/monsterporn

Has anyone told you today that you're awesome?

Has anyone told you today about the coming of Pilgath-Emhet the Defiler of Intellects?

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Surprise bonus episode! Explore the gray alien agenda, machine elves, and the Nordic alien breakaway civilization in the story "Ea the Astronaut" by Bret Norwood!

If you enjoy weird shit like grays, Nordic aliens, and breakaway civilizations, be sure check out all the weird, weird tales we've told in the Monster Porn anthology.

Be sure to review Monster Porn on Apple Podcasts! For every 25 new reviews we will release a full-length bonus episode like this one! If you want to support the show, your review helps us get discovered on Apple Podcasts. What you write isn't for our egos; it's for growing the monsterbator family!

Check out our store! teespring.com/stores/monsterporn! More designs will be revealed this month!!

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Music:

"The Zahir (Monster Porn Theme, Alternate Version)," "Byzantine Slap," and "The Zahir (Monster Porn Theme)" by Bret Norwood

"Mr. Sunny Face" and "A Quiet Thought" by Wayne Jones

Take a bizarro fiction couple's retreat into an infernal realm of love, death, and robots with "Subterranean Robot Slay-cation" by Bret Norwood.

If you love horror, weird fiction, and bizarro fiction, be sure to review Monster Porn on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app! Thanks to our loyal monsterbators for the awesome five-star reviews!

Check out the infamous Monster Porn t-shirts at teespring.com/stores/monsterporn with more designs coming this month!

Follow our favorite love-starved little Lovecraftian abomination, Nrrml, at tapas.io/series/nrrml or on our Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Godspeed, monsterbators!

It's time we had "the sex talk." Please sit down. I want to tell you about the birds and the bees and the poultice and the blood moon and the proper rites for ensuring conception. In the weird horror story "As Full as the Moon" by Matt Cummins, Monster Porn presents the tale of a young woman who perhaps took her desire for babies a bit too far.

Thanks for the awesome reviews for Monster Porn on Apple Podcasts / iTunes!! For every 25 new reviews we'll release a full-length bonus episode like the Black-Eyed Children double feature we did a few weeks ago!

Get Monster Porn gear at teespring.com/stores/monsterporn!

Music: "Dark Fertility Rite," "Knock-up Hoedown," and "The Zahir (Monster Porn Theme)" by Bret Norwood.

Stay tuned for Ravenous Orifices: Volume 2!

Today, Monster Porn returns to cosmic horror with the re-appearance of the cassocked killer from beyond the stars, known only--on Earth--as Pastoress!

If you love the tentacles and existential languish of Lovecraftian cosmic horror, get in here. If you enjoy today's show, or want to start at the beginning, check out MP012 - "Pastoress" for the introduction of the character, though it is not, strictly, a pre-requisite for today's story.

Are you a weird writer? Exciting news! Monster Porn is becoming a paying market for professional scribblers such as yourself. Details to follow on social media and our website, MonsterPornPodcast.com/submissions

Praise be to Betsy and to skeleton cartoonist Nic Calavera for the awesome Monster Porn t-shirt at teespring.com/stores/monsterporn!

If you like cosmic horror, weird fiction, pulp horror, bizarro fiction, and distasteful humor, be sure to subscribe, rate, and review on your favorite podcast player! Take Monster Porn to the top of the charts! Waffles and glory, monsterbators!!

"Ravens (Pastoress Theme)" composed and performed by Bret Norwood.

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Surprise bonus episode! Monster Porn gives you a double dose of Black-Eyed Children!

For every 25 new reviews, we'll launch a full-length bonus episode! If you want more Monster Porn in your life, review us on Apple Podcasts!

Check out the Nic Calavera Monster Porn t-shirt at teespring.com/stores/monsterporn! Follow Nic Calavera on Twitter: @nic_calavera.

Connect with us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram (both @monsterPr0n), or else when you get a knock on the front door at 3:33 AM...it will be the black-eyed children! Or UPS!

Either way, they'll be bearing the DOOM we sent you.

Happy Monday, monsterbators! In today's horror story, "In the Dead of Tinder" by Bret Norwood, a man runs out of prospects--save the prospect of horror.

Special music provided by To Edit Is Human. Check out toeditishuman.bandcamp.com and follow To Edit Is Human on tumblr: toeditishuman.tumblr.com!

Be sure to help fund Jimmy's search for Jimmy's Jimmy on his GoFundMe.

Review Monster Porn Podcast on Apple Podcasts / iTunes -- it's the best way to support Monster Porn right now! Thanks for all the great reviews so far!

Thanks to Nic Calavera, everyone's favorite cartoonist skeleton, for stopping in again! Be sure to check out the special t-shirt Nic designed for Monster Porn at teespring.com/stores/monsterporn and follow Nic on Twitter: @nic_calavera!

Creep on us on Twitter and Instagram, both @monsterPr0n, and Facebook!

A writer and his agent are hit hard by a winter storm while traveling through central Wyoming on book tour; the writer must face his insignificance as he looks into the muzzle of a forgotten Scandinavian god.

The writer looks a lot like Matt.

The best way to support Monster Porn Podcast right now is to review us on Apple Podcasts / iTunes!! Thanks to those who have left us such awesome reviews!

Thanks to Amberley Griffin for stopping by! Check out her story "The Heart of a Monster" back in bonus episode MPB03. Find more of her writing and animation at monsterpornpodcast.com/collaborbators

Also check out the special alternate artwork for our last episode "The Bridge to Citrus Empire" by Dustin S., creator of Mad Becky, on our social media.

Creep on us!

Twitter & Insta: @monsterPr0n

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Sound FX via Freesound.org

"Ringing in Ears" by Hardance

"Huge Bomb" by Jobro

"Bombeplosion" by Lord Razu

"Bomb-fall" by Johnny Farmer

"Environment War" by Mensageirocs

"Ambient Gunfire" by Heyhar

"Explosion 012" by Deleted User

"If Lovecraft had lived in L.A., he would have f#$ked a Jelly too," is how you might summarize "The Bridge to Citrus Empire" by Bret Norwood.

Mad Becky, a horror webcomic by Dustin S. https://tapas.io/episode/1210554

And follow him on Twitter! @ThySmoker9

There are two ways you can support Monster Porn:

Get the Nic Calavera x Monster Porn t-shirt in our store: https://teespring.com/stores/monsterporn Use code TENTACLE15 for 15% off this week!

Rate and review MPP on Apple Podcasts / iTunes, Stitcher, or any podcast app that has ratings / reviews. Thaaaaaank you so much for the awesome reviews that have been coming in!

Gunshot FX by Herbert Boland and Nelson Bowman via FreeSound.org.

Music in Nic's intro is "Mix It Up" by RalphReal via the Youtube music library.

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