Single (not spiraling)

Blocking him might be the most loving thing you can do for yourself, so why do so many of us wait so long to hit the button? In this episode of Single Not Spiraling, I’m talking about the block button, why it feels so loaded, and what keeps us holding onto men who’ve already shown us they’re not going to show up. We get into the guilt, the “what if he apologizes” thinking, and how much of your time and energy goes to someone who hasn’t earned it. I also talk about why choosing your own peace over a man’s access to you is a real act of self-love, and how it ties into undoing a lot of what the patriarchy taught us about being patient and available. If there’s a guy in your phone right now who you know needs to go, listen to this one first.

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Black and white thinking about men can feel like the safest way to protect yourself, especially when the news has you furious and every headline makes it feel like you can't trust anyone. Your rage is valid, and I feel it too. Men need to be held accountable for the harm they cause, full stop. But if we actually want things to change and want to tear down patriarchy, I think we need a bigger conversation than sorting men into good guys and monsters. In this episode, I'm talking about how that split lets so much everyday harm slide, and what accountability could look like if we went after the roots, from what boys are taught growing up to whether men who have already caused harm can change.

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You meet someone, it's going well, and somehow two weeks in you're checking your phone every ten minutes, replaying the last text, and low-key already spiraling and Obessesing. If that's you right now — this one's for you. in this episode we're talking about why early dating attachment hits so hard, how to tell the difference between real excitement and full-on obsessing, and what actually helps when you're mid-spiral over someone you barely know yet.

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There's a new dating trend everywhere right now, and on the surface it sounds like solid advice: date the guy who's less conventionally hot, because he'll treat you better. Lauren stumbled on it mid-scroll while hunting for this week's topic, and had a lot of thoughts. This episode breaks down where the trend actually falls apart, what you should be watching for instead in the first few dates, and how to tell the difference between attraction that's genuinely building and you just talking yourself into someone. Plus: how to figure out your actual non-negotiables, versus the preferences you've been treating like deal-breakers.

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Not every season calls for celibacy. Some call for community. Some call for a hoe phase. This one's about figuring out which season you're actually in, and why the advice going around right now isn't one-size-fits-all.

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Why is it so hard to just sit with yourself for one Tuesday night? This week I'm getting into what's actually happening when you reach for the dating apps — because half the time it's not about dating at all. It's about wanting proof someone's paying attention, wanting to feel wanted, wanting anything other than the quiet of being alone with yourself. I'm breaking down what you're really chasing when you open that app, and what to do instead of handing your attention over to a stranger.

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Okay, real talk — you think you're not a creative person. You're wrong, and this episode is me proving it. Not another "get back out there and date" ep — this one's about getting out of your slump by making stuff instead of waiting to feel inspired. Creativity is why we're alive, and I want you to create your world. And creativity has nothing to do with art — it can, but there's so much more you're creating. Your days, your routines, your relationships, the way you spend a random Tuesday — all of it. By the end, you'll realize you have something worth creating.

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You're doing the work of decentering men, but who's actually in your corner while you do it? This week Lauren gets into the friendship gap nobody talks about — why it happens, why it's harder to fix than you'd think, and what it actually takes to build real community as an adult. Spoiler: it involves leaving your couch.

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Why is it so hard to walk away from something once you've put time into it — even when you already know it's not right? This week we're getting into the sunk cost fallacy, the concept that explains why staying can feel safer than leaving, even when staying is the actual cost. Inspired by a section in Amanda Montell's The Age of Magical Overthinking, we're talking about where this thinking comes from, how it shows up in dating whether you're single right now or looking back, and why the time you've already spent is the worst possible reason to spend more of it.

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You've been told your whole life that getting older is something to fight off. That your value has a shelf life. That younger is better, more desirable, more worth something. And most of us absorbed that without even questioning where it came from or who it was built to benefit. In this episode Lauren is blowing that up. We're getting into why the fear of aging makes complete sense given what we were taught — and why what we were taught was never actually about us. What aging really gives you. Why accepting yourself means feeling things you've probably been avoiding for a long time. And how to start building real self-trust from the evidence you've already got. If you're a woman who has ever felt like time is running out, like you're behind, like getting older is something happening to you instead of for you — this one's for you.

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