Single You "The Podcast"

I want you to start shifting your mindset in the way that people talk to you and how you talk to people. Start thinking about emotional intelligence and what it means. 

Are you watching Bling Empire on Netflix? You know the relationship with Kelly and Andrew, the red power ranger... that's a relationship I don't want you to have sis. 

In this Tangible Tip Wednesday we go over another example of what you should NOT allow in your relationship. This is corny sis and I want you to know this isn't apart of the ups and downs of a relationship. 

Shanice can be found on IG & YouTube @ XoXoShanice 

Did you listen? What were your takeaways? ⁣Please share with me on IG @ justmeReka

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Want to know if he's lying to you sooner rather than later? My 4 step strategy that will keep you out of a toxic relationships is coming soon. Sign ups start February 2nd. Send me a DM now if you want to be on the waitlist. 

IG = justmeReka

Email = [email protected]

XO Reka

www.single-you.com/join

Why is their so much pressure in the church to get married? How should we be dating? 

"What you believe is what you do." - Pastor Marlando Jordan

The books we suggested you can buy here. 

If he says, "No, I don't." So then an honest answer for him would be, "I don't believe it's important to read my Bible and pray every day because I don't do it." Some people try to separate their beliefs from their behavior, and you cannot. You cannot separate your belief from your behavior. - Marlando Jordan

Pastor Marlando’s desire is to bring the message of reconciliation to those who do not have a relationship with the Lord and to establish, equip and empower believers to be radical disciples of Christ. His enthusiasm, passion and love for God and people, brings a unique and bold style of teaching and preaching.

Marlando Jordan currently serves as the Senior Pastor Sozo Church in Kennewick, Washington. Pastor Marlando and his wife Megan live in Pasco, WA, they’ve been married since 2003 and are the proud parents of their two children, Isaiah and Annabelle.

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Sis, let's talk. He can't say he loves you and is treating you like yesterday's trash or heck today's. He can not say that. He may want to love you but I'd argue he has zero idea what love is. How many books has he read on love? How many people with happy marriages has he talked to about love? How about you? When you want to be a doctor or a lawyer you know you have to go to school for that. You know exactly where to go but where do you go if you want to be in love? Where are we learning what love is? [ Single You Academy ]

How are we learning to have healthy relationships?

Also you can't say you know your worth and continue to be treated like crap. You are your behavior and your behavior is showing that you allow the revolving door of dysfunctional relationships. Your behavior is showing you- you tie your identity to men and he's your world, not you. What are you getting out of that?

Whenever you're ready to discover your worth so that you can stop tying your identity to men. I'm ready for you. 

Did you listen? What were your takeaways? ⁣Please share with me on IG @ justmeReka

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Xo Reka

Do you value yourself? Do you know who you are sis? Are you proud of you? 

Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.

- Proverbs 29:18

In finding your purpose:

1. Prayer. Ask God to reveal to you, who you are. 

2. Searching your heart. Ask yourself the same question.

Who are you in Christ? What is your identity? Who are you outside of dating, a man and your kids? 

What are you reading, listening and what company are you keeping? 

“Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is! - Matthew 6: 21-23

"So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." - Romans 10:17

How is your heart? 

"It’s not what goes into your body that defiles you; you are defiled by what comes from your heart". - Mark 7:15

"Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me". - Ps. 51:10

"For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority." - Colossians 2:9-10

 Did you listen? What were your takeaways? ⁣Please share with me on IG @ justmeReka

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Xo Reka

She writes: 

Dig, isolate, ache from being lonely, GLOW. 

Like many late 20-somethings I've had my share of failed relationships, the most prominent being an 8 year live-in one. "Common law married". I'm not gonna spend so much time on the particulars, but we weren't meant to be. For 6 months I spiraled and acted out every annoying and "smh" worthy moment that almost every woman has after a heavy breakup. Lately, I've seen it replayed in SO many young women, so I felt the need to write this post in hopes that if you do need it, it'll find you.

When the relationship ended, there was definitely a point in time where I felt that I might possibly die lol. I was 25 so of course that didn't take much, but in my defense, 8 years is a very serious commitment. Real marriage was an actual goal at the time, and after so much time of living together all we were missing was the wedding and the paper work. At first I made the mistakes that I see other women make every single day and I cringe from the memory. I cried, I prayed, I tried to "make myself whole" in hopes that he would see what a "good woman" I was. Constantly trying to prove my worth, thinking I was growing when really I just wanted him to see. I tried to mimic the women's patterns that I thought he desired and felt further and further away from myself. I was lost. My entire identity was wrapped up in who "we" had been and I missed it so much that I didn't even stop to realize that there was no possible way that there was ever a "we". There was hardly even a "me".

She is Dai and you can read the rest here.

Dai can also be found on IG @ _dai_dreaming

Did you listen? What were your takeaways? ⁣Please share with me on IG @ justmeReka

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Xo Reka

So what is it supposed to feel like when you find your match? Butterflies or no? What I can tell you is this: Yep. Your Vagina Doesn’t Actually Know if He’s The One or Not sis. 

⁣Let’s stop leaning heavy into those butterflies. I have a problem when it comes to following your heart with out logic and strategy behind it.

Listen to Daishaundra as she explains the difference between when she had butterflies in the beginning of dating her abusive ex and what she felt in the beginning of dating her husband Bryan.

Find Dai on IG @ _dai_dreaming

Blog: www.daidreaming.net 

Did you listen? What were your takeaways? ⁣Please share with me on IG @ justmeReka

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Xo Reka

Society will definitely make us think so. That only true happiness, joy and fulfillment come inside of a relationship. Cameo and I (Reka). use to think this way but we don't anymore. 

Life moves in the direction of your most dominate thought and when we thought that way we ended up trying to cook our way, force our way, serve our way, submit our way into a man’s heart to prove our worth…. Have You been There? Trying to get out of that cycle? 

Sick of the emotional heavy-lifting that you do to love men who aren’t capable of loving you back in a healthy way. Oh you're sick of that too?⁣ Then this episode is so for you. 

We also touch on what we gave up when we were dating these kind of men and also how we're thriving as a single woman now. We love being single and until the RIGHT man comes along, we'll be fine being single. 

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Did you listen? What were your takeaways? ⁣Please share with me on IG @ justmeReka

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Xo Reka

𝗪𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐞 compromise 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝐢𝐧 a 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩? ⁣

⁣You often enter into relationships trying to cook your way, sex your way, force your way, serve your way, submit your way into a man’s heart to prove your worth…. don’t you? ⁣

⁣All to be chosen by a man who sat back and reaped the benefits of your affections. Are you sick of that?⁣

⁣Oh and how about the emotional heavy-lifting that you do to love men who aren’t capable of loving you back in a healthy way. Aren’t you sick of that too?⁣

⁣⁣This is a conversation between Cameo and I about how we use to operate in relationships and if you still do — no judgment — but stop. Here’s why...⁣⁣

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Did you listen? What were your takeaways? ⁣Please share with me on IG @ justmeReka

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Xo Reka

Did you listen? What were your takeaways? ⁣Please share with me on IG @ justmeReka

⁣

Xo Reka

[ Your Wednesday Tangible Tip ] 

A man will get himself together for the right woman... ⁣ Do men really change because we want them to?⁣

I mean you’ve been there right girl? Trying to wait it out— waiting on him to change. Not wanting to quit “because he’ll change for me eventually.” I can love him into changing, exhausting and extending yourself for what? Definitely not reciprocity. ⁣

⁣This is a conversation between Cameo and I about how we use to operate in relationships and if you still do — no judgment — but stop. Here’s why...⁣

⁣“I don’t want the performance part of you. I want the real you.” - Cameo King

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Did you listen? What were your takeaways? ⁣Please share with me on IG @ justmeReka

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Xo Reka

[ Your Wednesday Tangible Tip ]

She writes: I met a guy last weekend and we slept together. He hasn't text me back until now. We had a good time, he kissed me (first) and it was in front of someone who's flirting with him while I was beside him. I just felt over the moon because no one has ever done that for me. But I realized he never asked me any questions about me. So it got me thinking... does he want to know about me or did he just want a one night stand. I didn't want to be his one night stand, my intention was to date. I don't have to be in a rush for commitment but I like the guy. I don't have any expectations but I still want to keep an open mind for whatever could potentially happen. Should I text him again. Uuugh I'm frustrated because I don't know what to say and what to do? I felt bad for easily sleeping with him.

Me: It's so easy to get excited when a man 'picks' us but we have to slow down our feelings. "feeling over the moon" doesn't mean he's the guy for you/us. We have to slow that down. Unfortunately he sounds like a guy who just wants to have you around when he has time. He'll string you along and give you just enough to keep you "interested." Don't ever let a man save you for later. One thing I know for sure after truly understanding that Singleness Is Not A Punishment is that there will be NO confusing when you come across a man that is 100% interested in you/no games.

Find DJ on IG @ goodwillstunting_

What were your take aways? Share with me on IG! @ justmeReka

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Xo Reka