Slapped

A dark dark day in Slapped history ends with a finger licker on New Jersey Transit. But don't fret! It's not all bad, y'all. We are introduced to a new member of the Slapped family...Doilywood. And she is a beauty. Wet your whistles and come hang out with us!

Defunct ear buds. Busted bedding. Fat necks. There's a litany of side-eyes being launched but none more healthy than the one PJ gives Debbie for her questionable Don Draper pussy bow blouse. She thought Paris. He says Parsippany. Come hang out with us!

PJ grows gravely concerned over two pairs of shoes that were recently purchased. Debbie reveals a sight never-before-seen within the 9th rung of hell, also known as Penn Station. And all of this 'liciousness is disrupted by not one but two random phonecalls. No complaints though - one of them is from Barack Obama! Treat yourselves to an Obamargarita and come hang out with us!

We're a year old y'all! We're poppin' bottles of pink bubbly and celebrating an entire year of slappery up in a walk-in closet in Maplewood, New Jersey. We're reflecting on our favorite stories with addendums and reveal the entire list of names PJ has called Debbie over the year. Tramps, grab your champs and come celebrate with us!

The Bachelor, When We Rise, Baskets and the lessons learned from each of them. Like for example, don't tell the Bachelor you're not a virgin but have never had an orgasm. (Really Raven?) Grab yo'selves a spiked Shirley Temple and come hang out with us!

We are laden with beads of all colors, shapes and sizes as we relive a New Orleans Mardi Gras vacation never to be forgotten. Trying to hop a cemetery fence and catching a stuffed fish from Harry Connick Jr. are just a few of the many activities that were enjoyed in NOLA. Grab yourselves an oyster shooter and come hang out with us!

Debbie entered a Chelsea threading bar for a little facial hair maintenance and came out a completely shorn newborn baby.  And speaking of hair, we are reliving the day that monkey walked into an IKEA donning a shearling coat and demanding Swedish meatballs.  Grab a little hair of the dog and come hang out with us!

Street meat takes an unfortunate toll on a bus passenger. Thankfully there was Bounty. Plus, lighting into a sexist telemarketer and defending hair color in a spray can.  We're also playing THOUGHTS?! Crack yourselves a can of Pinot Noir and come hang out with us!

Lord knows we love our parents with every last fiber of our being but sometimes the gifts we receive from them give us pause.  We're gifting you with the gifts that keep on giving.  Grab a cold one and come hang out with us!

Women's March preparation puts Debbie into complete and utter panicked hysteria. PJ tries to allay her fears but to no avail. In case she doesn't make it out alive, she bids you all a fond farewell.  But first...a sip of her flaming hot Sriracha Bloody Mary. Grab a sip and come hang out with us!