SLEEP NOTHINGS

Nature sounds of a forest river ....  ahhhhhhhhh. And ME! Reading out the rules of darts. Why? Why not? Don't ask so many questions, just go to sleep.

Sweet dreams.

10 minutes

What's with all the silent letters in words? Why? Well, don't worry about it. Let me do that. You go to sleep. I'll read some of the words, and you listen to them. And the babbling brook in the background. Yes, it's babbling. That's a soothing babbling, not babbling like my neighbour. BTW, look at those silent letters in neighbour!!!! Oh, and sorry for the exclamation marks -- I know you're trying to sleep. 

Sweet dreams.

10 minutes.

Hey, you can't sleep? You should. Go to sleep. Or, maybe listen to a bit of Lap 85 of the 2015 Indianapolis 500 car race. With a rainstorm in the background. That sounds loud, huh? Well, it's not. It's soothing. 

Sweet Dreams.

10 minutes.

Episode 99 calls for a list of #99's records. Not all of 'em, there's too many.

Sweet Dreams.

11 minutes

Listen to waves on a beach while I read to you about changing your furnace filter.

Sweet Dreams.

11 minutes.

Hey Dummy. Not you, you're not the dummy. But everyone around you is. Listen to me give you many ways to tell them they're stupid. Because they are. But it's easier to say when you can hear a gentle stream in the background. It might not make it easier for them to hear it. Because they're idiots. But who cares about them? It's about you. You're smart. Clever. Brilliant, even? You just can't sleep. So, listen to this and fall asleep. Sleep is important, you big dummy.

Sweet Dreams.

10 minutes.

Do you like the sound of a small waterfall? Me too. And bird sounds? Me too! And me reading the lyrics to a song Elmo and Katy Perry sang on Sesame Street in 2010? Well, maybe not. But here it is, anyway. The song is a parody of Perry's hit single “Hot n Cold.”

Sweet Dreams.

10 minutes.

Is it Words of the Day? Word of the Days? Words of the Days? I don't know. All I know is I read a Word of the Day, and then another one of those, and then another, and maybe one or two more. With some piano in the background. There might even be some birds in the background as well. That's always nice too. It's all there for you, to help you sleep. Because you need sleep. It's important. You're important. It's all important. Except this stupid podcast. That's not important. 

Sweet dreams.

10 minutes.

Listen to me walk you through Home Depot's guide to installing a ceiling fan, with some nice, soothing ocean waves crashing in the background. How about that? Sounds nice, huh? That's cuz it is.

Sweet Dreams.

11 minutes.

Listen to me (that's me!) read song titles by Taylor Swift and Black Sabbath, with some nice, relaxing sounds of a forest river (and birdies!) in the background. Pleasant. Now get some sleep.

Sweet dreams.

11 minutes.