Slop Quest

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Be forewarned: Aaron is on fire with the wordplay this episode, so plan accordingly. Andy comes out of the gates with excitement over having something in common with Mark Normand. What he has in common makes Danish and O’Neill ask Andy how far he’d go for his "special interest". Andy tells a harrowing tale of drinking port wine and passing out from blood sugar issues. The gang grapples with a Black Mirror style question about drinking, bathing, and only having tuna water for all your water needs for a year.  Danish gets into some infuriating "lion talk" and then Aaron shares his love for GRR Martin’s "Beauty and The Beast". O’Neill goes over all his cool childhood weapons, and there's a tragic reveal from Danish. They then discuss how to eat with chopsticks and a Thai restaurant refuses to let Andy eat with them and gives him a spoon instead. That inspires a new business idea for a chopsticks based media company.

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We open with O’Neill being delighted that Chinese throwing stars are legal again in Indiana. O’Neill then tries to take credit for getting Andy off drugs and requests a wish as compensation. Aaron talks about a new softball rival and injury. This leads O’Neill to come up with a pair of cutting-edge questions that build the backbone of a new philosophy. Andy and Danish do NOT think these are “good” questions. O‘Neill doubles down that these are the hard-hitting questions that MUST be asked. Andy thinks these questions are just the intrusive thoughts of a mentally ill person. Proving that's not the case, O’Neill becomes Andy’s lawyer in a fictional case about kissing. Andy shows everyone his new robot. Then, they explore the business possibilities of the "Two Question Scenario".

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The show opens with more misremembered historical ramblings from DeWitt, including a guy who ate strawberries and cream until he exploded. O’Neill suggests that Andy’s vision board needs more business goals and less stuff about butts. Then, there’s some Vince McMahon talk. Danish debuts a new quote song that makes us all proud! There's also another song about Andy that melts our minds. 

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On this episode, Andy opens with a Romeo and Juliet fart parody song based off the 1969 movie, and O’Neill is not impressed. Then, O’Neill has an insane list of demands for the aliens should they ever kidnap him. Danish talks about Israeli cars that run on hummus. Then, he pulls up a viral video of a woman who claims she would please her man at least six times a day, which leads to a debate if that would be good or not. The show ends with a huge bombshell, as Andy reveals he was part of a NASA brainwashing program as a child.

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Aaron wins a gigantic trophy for softball, and O’Neill goes for stolen softball trophy valor antics. Then, they ask Andy if he would have his mouth surgically altered as a way to become more popular. After that, they roast the lineup from Coachella. Andy has an amazing business idea called "Fart Burger", and NO ONE recognizes how great this idea is. Finally, O'Neill has Andy perform a series of monologues to endorse his business.

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On this episode of Beach Cops, Andy has been watching more Milf Manor. O’Neill fears the Presidential power of Bill Clinton’s sexual energy. Danish exposes a fitness beef between John Little and Earl Skakel. Then, an improv sensation sweeps the nation as Andy and Ryan take on the roles of Slingblade and Mrs. Doubtfire as they fall in love. Finally, Danish finds a post about redhead discrimination that infuriates O’Neill to the bone.

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On this episode of Beach Cops, Andy reveals that hot nurses on Reddit are getting a little too crazy on duty (doodie). Danish reveals a nefarious turd related plot on Broadway involving the Clintons. Then, O‘Neill gives his own science related report, and it’s JUST as insane as Andy’s, if not more so. Danish plays “smart music” to help the science get written! A LOT of very smart discussions this episode.

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This one starts with the gang talking about Andrew being concussed with a basketball while he was dressed as a viking in high school. Then, things get real when the Ghost Pepper Challenge mentioned on the previous episode becomes a truly scientific paper, spoken by DeWitt, transcribed by Danish, and heckled by O’Neill. You will enjoy the highly scientific, factual writing. 

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It’s St. Patrick’s day on Beach Cops, and Ryan demands respect for his heritage. Andy reveals he is 2% Vietnamese, and Ryan says he can tell.  Then, the gang comes up with the new craze: The Ghost Pepper Challenge. Speaking of peppers, listener Hot Hot Peppers has advice for O’Neill about curing his wendigo problem. Also, we have a fantastic new quote compilation from new deputy Jake that may just earn us many more patrons!

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The show opens with the boys receiving some amazing gifts from fans. After, Andy wears smart boy glasses and shares a "drawering" he did of the boys as fantasy wizards. Andy talks about a hilarious "milking machine" Twitter incident with a certain public figure he's drawn criticism for speaking about in the past. Danish blows everyone away with a new Milf Manor clip, and then, Ryan asserts he can eat more real steak than Andy can eat fake steak and insists on a competition. The convo moves to Steven Seagal and Putin’s ridiculous friendship before they end with a new bad lunch lady from the news.