Slop Quest

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On this ep, the "teacher" finally changes Andrew and Ryan's seats, so the boys will behave better. Danish reads an article written by a Priest, who says that twerking is evil. Then, the boys get caught up on Mormon butt-stuff regulations and allowable marital activities. Andrew almost buys himself a trophy, and finally, a new David Goggins video makes everyone flip out.

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The boys return to the dark for a full episode to get the creative juices flowing. O’Neill refuses to participate in a standing ovation at a theater and becomes violent at the idea of being forced to stand. DeWitt’s family has anxiety about all their ESP. When O'Neill comes up with a scenario that takes place at a mall fountain, Andrew loses it. Andy then freaks out again about perceived boomer sex jokes. Danish finds a new “mom blog” to completely infuriate everyone. Another business idea for a sex barge is floated by the guys and it’s not exactly a water-tight idea.

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It comes out that Andy has been keeping a “productivity journal” while O’Neill was out of town. Danish reads O’Neill the journal, and he loses it because it’s mainly tracking bowel movements and "self-love" time. Danish and O’Neill have a eulogy for Bob from the Comedy Store, which puts Andrew in a dark/weird place but makes him sympathetic towards his cohosts. Then, the boys turn off all the lights and finally write a Wazzup Man of Reddit!

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On this episode, the gang covers Andy getting chemical burns on his hands from throwing urinal cakes at people in elementary school. Then, they talk about Bloody Mary being back in full effect for a whole new generation. Things take a dark turn when they find out about the dude dating Shauna Rae (of TLC fame), and let’s just say the boys have some severe opinions. O’Neill also finally gets down to the real brass tacks of life advice for DeWitt. 11/10 star episode

Helix is offering up to 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows four our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BeachCops. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops

On this episode, Andy brings in a survival tool for show-and-tell with a hidden punch knife, and it’s the worst piece of (expletive) anyone has ever seen. He also keeps dropping it, causing Danish some extreme anxiety. They talk Chinese spy balloons and a disturbing report from O’Neill on Milf Manor, but Andrew still wants those gross old ladies. O’Neill tries to get down to brass tacks with life advice for Andy. Then, Andy disappoints himself and his wife when he lets the boys play a scary game with his nips and then twerks.

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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops

On this spicy episode of Beach Cops, O’Neill brings out his childhood fingerboard and tries to skate on Andy’s nipples. The gang tries to use AI to write jokes, but Chat GPT constantly chastises them for being offensive. Then, they deep dive on the new reality show Milf Manor, and it blows O’Neill’s mind. They try to wrap up early, but a wardrobe revelation from Danish and DeWitt gets too crazy to stop the show.

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O’Neill is back from his tour with a brand new debilitating ski injury. Was it another curse by Boon? Who knows because O’Neill found doodie stains in the ATC toilet and dragged DeWitt in to see it (even though he claims he’s totally against doodie talk). Andrew seductively fingerboards on the boys’ legs, and Danish gets turned on! Then, we talk about finger surfing and finger snowboarding, which infuriates O’Neill. That is, until Danish infuriates Andrew with a disturbing announcement from M&Ms.

This Episode is sponsored by Better Help

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We recorded this bad boy on Friday the 13th, and it’s pretty spooky! O’Neill makes everyone watch the Skinamarink Horror trailer, and Aaron and Andrew want nothing to do with it. Andy reveals a secret about adult film stars. They talk spooky celebrity deaths related to the show, attempted pregnancies, and impossible vegan privates. Andy then gets obsessed with fingerboards and aggressively pesters the gang to play fingerboards with him, using his bathroom sink as a skate pool...until O’Neill loses it and screams mean things at him instead of just being chill and playing cool, sweet fingerboards.

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On this episode, Danish and O’Neill try to give the Bushman a proper eulogy, but they just roast him to Andrew‘s horror. (It’s what he would have wanted!) And, O’Neill meets the ultimate Scrooge Karen at a grocery store. There's much more on the Patreon side, so check it out if you haven't already!

The episode starts on a somber note, as we mourn the loss of Los Angeles' beloved mountain lion, P-22. However, O'Neill is quick to point out that he feels that P-22 wasn't euthanized, but instead, there was foul play involved. Different P-22 theories and ideas emerge, as we give him the goodbye he deserves. Andrew talks about his body and the different colors certain body parts are. He also calls for listeners to compliment him in the live chat (Patreon exclusive perk!). Listener calls dedicated to P-22 are played, and there's even a song by Hot Hot Peppers to commemorate Los Angeles' unofficial mascot. Goodbye, P-22. Stay golden.

Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to Helix Sleep dot com slash beachcops. With Helix, better sleep starts now.