Liz opens the show with enthusiasm to announce a new corporate buzzword. It's so annoying, you'll love to hate it. Then, Evan discusses tattoos, their significance, and regret. Rick hangs out and asks them all the tough questions.

It's the "most magical place on earth" so please let us into your room to ensure you're not stockpiling weapons or trafficking humans. We have the official policy and some comments from Disney bloggers who are unhappy about it. Also, a review of Eddie Murphy's new movie, a hot take on glitter stickers, and a "hang loose" reference.

Find out what happens when you call Disney 911. It's truly a Mickey Mouse operation.

Also: surviving 95-degree heat during a thunderstorm (every day), mandatory room checks, and one-ply toilet paper.

Liz, Evan, and Rick spent the week apart from each other. It happens sometimes. So, here's some highlights! Liz thinks Seattle has its head up its ass, Evan tries to sell property with a dead body, and Rick rides the short bus.

How can society be concerned about who our next president will be when we have much bigger issues to resolve? Is Avril Lavigne dead and been replaced by a clone? Is the Denver Airport the Illuminati headquarters? Are Richard Simmons and Pauly Shore the same person? We have all the answers! Also, prop bets on Rick's Disney trip, our favorite summertime drinks, and pineapples make it taste better.

What does gross Japanese tea, a monkey bite in Mexico, and trimming your bush have in common? Absolutely nothing! But we masterfully weave all of that and more into a riveting one-hour conversation like, playing explicit music at your daughter's 12th birthday party, how to kill your neighbor's tree (and get away with it), and of course, a "Hawk Tua" reference.

Make all preparations for getting underway! LT Tom Struble talks us through his experience serving on the USS Virginia nuclear submarine. Hear what happens when you send 130 guys together underwater for at least a month. Also: Top 10 Manliest Movies, hunting for Jackalope in Chernobyl, and something about a "cocktail of funk".

Who would win, "person vs. killer whale?" O.K., that's an easy one. How about "person (you) vs. PARACHUTING SPIDERS?!?!?!" Yes, keep your head up because these things are no joke. Also, Rick's wife keeps hiring a "hot laborer", Liz explains how to coach up your kid when s/he's blamed for losing the game, and Evan highlights National Men's Health Week to draw attention to the mental health struggles many men experience.

The fuzz pinches famous golfer Scottie Scheffler, and Rick and Evan (also golfers) share similar experiences. Pink Flamingo Day is coming soon and we have everything you need to know about celebrating the kitschy lawn ornament. Also, a delinquent driver Zooms to court, a teen has a transportation tribulation, and we just got a porn horn!

There's a book about Billie Jean King that's mostly about tennis but there is a reference to being married to another woman. Someone has a problem with this because they didn't watch "My Two Dads" starring Paul Reiser on Sunday nights back in middle school! Also, save the turtles, drone wars, and ballsacksofinstagram.