SmartAss Comedy

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When the guy who signs your Death Certificate and hands out copies to friends and family, does someone else check to make sure you’re really dead? 

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I have hitchhiked a lot and rode with some interesting folks.

But there was that one day.

It wasn’t humorous.

No laughs.

It was just intense.

But one thing was certain. 

That one day changed my life forever. 

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When I see the Postman, I think how boring it must be. 

You drive or walk around, gather up a handful of mail, open a mailbox, stick the mail in, close the mailbox, drive or walk to next delivery spot, repeat.

You do that every day except on Sunday.

Well, that’s probably true for most Postmen.

But there was one PostDude that apparently didn’t fit that mold.

Listen on as I introduce you to the one Postman who just couldn’t wait to go deliver mail and then some. 

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Yep, I have another hitchhiking story.

This time it’s during the time of the Vietnam War.

Protests were everywhere. The Draft had become the new Lottery Game. The night of the first Lottery Draft Game everyone was tense. In our dorm, we gathered together around an old 12 inch black and white TV with a grainy picture. Names weren’t drawn. Birthdays were drawn. 

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I always loved theatre. It was that love that took me to Second City Workshops in Chicago. 

The following was one afternoon at Second City for rehearsals.

After Cheers ended, Shelley Long took up with Second City in Chicago.

I never formally met Shelley Long, though a part of me still remains’ close to her. 

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I think just about everyone has someone they look up to.

I can think of a few people I think are great but could be completely wrong with that assessment because I never met them.

Though there is one guy that I finally got to meet.

Stick around and I’ll tell you about the time I had with this guy.

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Here I am, on another hitchhiking adventure. This story starts when I’m just outside of Kansas City. 

I have to say, I never imagined that someone like this driver would pick me up. But he did and what I expected was going to happen turned out to be the exact opposite.

Just goes to show you, in this crazy world don’t expect, assume, or think what you think cause you’ll be wrong.

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Hitchhiking is rather boring, you know, standing on the side of a highway with you thumb stuck out like it has some kind of strange substance on it and you’re hoping somebody will stop and wipe it off. That’s how boring it can be. But then there’s always one guy that stops you never expected.

Meet one of my favorite ride dudes. Don’t know his name. It’s not like I forgot, it’s just that he never said, in fact he never said one word except for… well that will have to come later in the story.

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There comes a time in a young boy’s life when he is set free. Free to do things he had demonstrated a qualifying maturity to do. Then it all goes to Hell.

That happened to me. I went with two friends to Wrigley Field in Chicago. If you aren’t familiar with Wrigley, it is the home of the professional baseball team, The Chicago Cubs.

Apparently, our parents forgot that we were 14 years old and we had the maturity of a Slug. Before they remembered, we took off.

Getting to Wrigley and being at the game was great, except for the incredible amounts of junk food. Oh, the pain.

Getting home was when it went to Hell, especially for me.

Have a listen to my story and if you have kids, try to remember how old they are each year. 

Only Wine and Most Distilled Spirits Age Well.

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Beer, Friends, Urination, Forest, Drunk.

You wouldn’t think that combination would go together very well.

And you would be correct, and this story is a glaring example.

On one particular day that combination not only didn’t go together very well, it was a disaster.

By the time everything was straightened out, more than a few people had got involved, there were magical fairies, and drunkenness.

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