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...since truth is the only thing & the reality is, there is no way I didn't go through the ups & downs of figuring out what is going on by asking, asking, pressing, pressing until triggers went boom boom & pop pop but that's it. I do not write, speak, share, feel, think the same way now about PEOPLE.

In Chicago, there was too much abuse/neglect of power & insane greed when it comes to helping the most vulnerable & at-risk population whether that's a classroom in a public school where we IDENTIFY & ACCEPT SPECIAL NEEDS as not just EQUAL IN EDUCATIONAL OPPORTUNITIES, but that we are to HELP THEM or a hospital setting where they are literally dollar signs & so low you can pick & choose the narrative that fits the narrative/medication since my message was to the neurologist who said, "I heard good things," was "whatever you heard, I think they're liars." 

I didn't say it like that, but I will not. I kept saying, you need to know the HARM OF WHERE YOU SENT ME SINCE THEY EXPOSED ME TO HOW THEY DIAGNOSE & PRONOUNS so yes, you're talking behind my back, but to my face & why I interrupted, "hey guys. I can hear you & what is the definition of manic because I didn't say change the world. I said change the law. If you're unclear you can google IDEA or individuals with disability education act," & why I'm all fizzing, buzzin' & beamin'...what beamin'

Oh. Lupe! Since I shared Chicago & my reward is a song.

How great would it be if we all realized the temptations of people who will never care for you in the way they describe "the experience" when it all is about money---that is what THEY taught me so now, THEY will tell the story since it's not my voice. I said stop. I said bullying. I said bystander abuse. I said, "stop mocking me," & that is DEFINITELY MY STUDENTS' VOICE since I say, "thanks for telling me who you are so now I know," and why I taught my students' my voice... it is a ROAR! &. you can find it online since before words, I used the internet to get it out & now I can archive it & state firmly, without a doubt, through progress monitoring (which was difficult for teachers, I know, we'll get there since the introduction of GRADEBOOK, where parents can check the grades LIVE made me very popular for parent-teacher conferences all of a sudden) I can 100% flick your ptsd, suicide & rude behavior that is unacceptable in a civilized society with a standard for honesty, away with one motion. 

WHY WE MOVE & GROOVE & yet, I misspelled/misread it. I did that with my Facebook page, too. Check it out at @lovecommmunity. Thank you!

Thank you to the previous board member who was insistent on CLEANING & YES, ME TOO, for COVID & why we both know why you don't come to the meetings anymore. That last. moment where you wanted to speak to me alone & offer some sort of non-apology was for you to justify ALL THAT YELLING, right? Let's revisit, shall we?

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YouTube wil have visuals & created when the property manager/company were lying about OFFICE HOURS & COVID & when we had an outbreak in the office, we were told, "don't tell anyone," & then that person was promoted.

Keep asking questions & big thanks for residents for asking since things get done FASTER, but at the same time, why if I'm on the board, do my questions & things on the agenda to deal with the issue of "friends helping friends," this being a direct trigger to Alcott School teachers, parents, admin & NWMH neurology/psychiatric (pill mill) & other tit-for-tat & why to get to that (too scary!) I had to first get through the triggers of "big tits." Their words. Seriously, can I begin sharing these audio, visual & tactile triggers since without being in a wedding, planning a wedding, getting married, getting divorced as they make up THE BEST EXCUSES (ok, just leave) & having someone bring their cat into my home, I would've never figured it out.

Without b.o.d. & tbg retrigging/reprompting domestic violence & more I would've never gotten through this since I remember the level I was at when I joined in July 2020 since my trauma team encouraged me to make a decision if I am staying in the neighborhood of violence & so I said, yes, RECLAIM THE SPACE, BUY CHUNKY FURNITURE & remove THAT TRIGGER.

I'm reliving it since the body needs to know, it's safe & that's because the violence was for years home/work/night/day & why when I walked downstairs, saw someone NEW (looked like a HS kid, was he?) I went to the property management office & asked, "what happened?" 

This is the same questions I asked the president & he explained there was someone stealing, lying, cheating & they were promoted & why residents questioning that is on/WAS ON replay until today, August, 17, 2022.

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FUNCTIONAL UPDATES [since this IEP*] is LIVE : I have not been able to check email, the mail room & am struggling to get out of my house (because I have to start thinking GO TO GYM even if next to property management office & how I signed up during COVID & was not cleaned. That's how the YOUTUBE CHANNEL was created so this is a creation story told 9x.

Why 9? 

That's time & a #. It's easy to remember because it is everywhere.

You can access my YouTube ---> S . O . Smiley was the CREATION of lying about COVID (specifically the times they cleaned the gym. NO WAY!) & a yelling, abusive property manager that with the b.o.d. engaged in bystander abuse. 

That is the FACT, now here is the advocacy bit. I do this methodology & I give 100% credit to every "trigger" that has helped me SPEAK. This means whenever I write, post, livestream or create something instead of the muckity muck they created, I'm grateful & that's charity/love. So thank you [&fu]. 

*Independent from Emotional Piracy 

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I did the best I could to "stay here" but the noise of b.o.d., tbg & a few others past memories that visit me daily, hourly, moment-by-moment led me to "lose it" & what had to go was NUMBERS so let's try again.

I'm going to upload lots of things. Add them up, divide them by the date I have (since that was confusing the first month, but the company emailed right away--thanks!) to record by & know how many minutes/day I have to record. Similar to how to figure out HOW MANY PAGES TO READ EVERY NIGHT WITH YOUR CHILD to DO THE ASSIGNMENT. If you don't read... as a teacher... this is a tough one.

Exactly, it's a no-brainer & why the words of parents in this public school that absolutely was OK violating kids with special needs not once, not twice, but 3x in 3 years so I think exposure to (a) abuse of power (b) insane greed (c) marketing used for evil since they're aware of the federal rights of disability & if not, they have a professional on staff :)

I am writing more!

It's a great day!

That's IT!

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As long as you realize, "am doing more," than any regressions really can't be that terrible. The point is, you can use your words to end all of their ptsd or "present trauma/stress from deception."

Trauma doesn't work or me if I want to be clear so if you unsure what is happening, that's the result of lots of trauma home/work/night/day for years. Why I don't have numbers down since it's protection to NOT BE CLEAR, but that also doesn't fit what I will never do---what they did. Say nothing. Do nothing. Walk away. Deceive. Take my knowledge & restructure privately since there is a difference when you attach a name publicly. JUST ONE THING I'VE OBSERVED.

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So every 4, will write about name.  There is a visual component, but you have to find it through Patreon. I think that's Shock & Awe. Look for the Detroit street art. Just recording/reporting what ends trauma.

Nope, every 4 is a case study & that's them! You have to have one to do the worst & the whole community to be okay with it & in this case, it's animal abuse & neglect. A definite red flag when everyone calls the abused cat an a-hole.

youTube visuals (pictures & videos, now public!) : https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5X6CpIDvxnRPOOPnSpXp5XZxHDNJ-e2I <-- here is more words since the QUANTITY of PTSD is unreal. NO. Obvious to those who are caring for those & why, those who steal, knowing full well there's no accountability within your own company (this is Eileen Johnson & NWMH), you take advantage even more.

THIS IS SICK SHHHH... & why they lied so often when, hello, didn't people tell ya not to lie since it will come back & bite ya... How do I know? Well, T. Bundy popped up. That's how he got caught. I just record/report these memories since inured/assaulted repeatedly as a teacher & the admin did nothing so I guess I'm caught in a loop because, "I'm a mandated reporter/recorder for abuse & neglect" was on replay several times during multiple hours throughout the day. THAT DIFFERENCE (didn't happen before injury/assault/exposure to how easy it is to cheat when the motivation is NOT TO DO YOUR JOB teachers & parents) is what we call in data, significant. 

I figured it out. Don't do what they did. So this is morality play & a cautionary tale together. What else could it be? My third & final curriculum. 

youTube visuals (pictures & videos, now public!) : https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5X6CpIDvxnRPOOPnSpXp5XZxHDNJ-e2I

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TY to those voices : others' voices recorded from news when you don't have your own & this is when that emotional pop goes up. How many years pent up frustration from not being able to listen to news without triggering? 

TY to allowing me to share strategies : I let people know that "I cannot hear you. Until it goes away, just hold the thought, but the questions I've asked still need answers so when I can hear you, please answer the question. Thanks!"

I wasn't ready to share the YouTube in the description until _____ (I'll check the descriptions in the podcast fill-in-the-blanks later), but today, October 6, 2020, I found out the playlist was PRIVATE. So I made it PUBLIC. You can go here to find it, but definitely match the numbers & if you check out other videos or have questions, please ask in the comments. 

Thanks!

Also, I am using this site to help count & hold tracks of numbers so using SEASON + EPISODES to do so. I don't know how any of this works since tech was a huge trigger after threats to put intimate images online after KNOWING this was already done to me AS A CHILD, so one person in the whole world knew? Why this trauma will be made CONCRETE since I don't keep it in after being exposed to all these companies that revealed how they (a) use the words we're supposed to say if you're normal, but they're far from it since (b) behaviors say otherwise. NOT HARD TO GET WHEN YOU HAVE EYES, EARS & A REAL LOVE FOR DATA otherwise, can't WRITE THOSE IEPs & why those teachers struggled...

I need to pick this up in Twitter, now. Sorry, but it's the only place to put 2m20s video to ensure my voice doesn't GO AWAY, like before when told, "if you tell the police, I will kill you," & very specific things that will be done to my cat if I... VERY CLEAR. Understood, but you WILL get out of my house... I remember what I was thinking... a list. Has family.  A job. Told me in last "session" thinking so... yea, it's that diagnosis.

youTube visuals (pictures & videos, now public!) : https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5X6CpIDvxnRPOOPnSpXp5XZxHDNJ-e2I

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TODAY IS 11/29/2023 & today there is a new place to follow, support & even make sense of how to end PTSD because it has a purpose & I believe it was to always offer another way when it comes to identifying what in society is doing the MOST HARM while TAKING MORE THAN THEY GIVE. I'd like to learn from them all. I'd like to share how I came to these conclusions. You can be part of this process here :

https://patreon.com/jetFuel?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

:) Thank You

ORIGINAL DESCRIPTION WRITTEN DAY UPLOADED : Trying to figure out if I can connect my name since I want to be safest & I think that is ensuring no secrets are kept. 

& TODAY...I thought the YouTube channel that I've been uploading simultaneously as I podcast was PUBLIC, but TODAY, October 6th, 2020 (repeat repeat repeat every day since I'm not losing my numbers again), I found out it wasn't so no one has been able to match the visuals, words & videos with the spoken words on a podcast that has NO VISUALS.

When I write, these are my notes in a way. I am just trying to make sure I don't lose my voice as "they" continue to purposely retrigger, "them" being the board of directors & you won't hear that till episode 10 or 11. I know because I couldn't podcast, nor go near the property management office (when caught stealing time & lying to my face again) & gym so to end those triggers, clearly, must go to the gym again & since near the property management office, it should work---location, location, location---matters to a body with a sensitive endocrine system that stays elevated because they keep (a) lying to my face (b) lying on paper like a healthcare record or refusal to submit an incident report---what admin admitted to in a meeting so explained it to me, indirectly, but still explained it (c) contradictions that I say, "why, what did you mean," & all these micro expressions start popping...

I'm just using every space to practice writing in & whatever comes up, comes out, literally. It does NOT STAY IN ME ANYMORE.

youTube visuals (pictures & videos, now public!) : REMOVED

To find the right YouTube, match with numbers since not sure if I was able to write the right title because just began labelling my folders/files related to podcasting today. I didn't have that skill when I started & why I'm really really really anti-violence. It's not mine, but I'll hold it, safe so it doesn't hurt others until I can give it back in my way---an invitation to a podcast, to pick up where we left off.

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TODAY IS 11/29/2023 & today there is a new place to follow, support & even make sense of how to end PTSD because it has a purpose & I believe it was to always offer another way when it comes to identifying what in society is doing the MOST HARM while TAKING MORE THAN THEY GIVE. I'd like to learn from them all. I'd like to share how I came to these conclusions. You can be part of this process here :

https://patreon.com/jetFuel?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

:) Thank You

ORIGINAL 

Hello & Welcome,

This is an introduction to a methodology I've been doing since 2015 after Northwestern Memorial Hospital (NWMH)  proved to be not only ineffectual, but dangerous & insanely greedy, meaning they went above & beyond to take the money & change the narrative in false paper trails! They showed repeatedly in DBT, CBT & individualized therapy (mandatory to attend group) how much harm they're willing to do by denying their contribution in creating my advocacy even as I told them every time, "you're creating my advocacy with your contradictory behavior," preferring they privately address is so I can trust they learn & never do it again to someone less capable to speak for self, less resources & quite frankly, less education.

When I write, I am returning their crrrap literally because my body feels it & my voice is how to make what's abstract, concrete (you cannot deny it's better if you find the 20+ sites/apps I've been taking snapshots of, both writing & speaking), but also, as I recover & share more, the body lets go, finally. If interested there is a video component accessible by visiting Patreon & "voting" in any amount since to do advocacy well, it's truly a dialogue, not a monologue & I'm putting away mental abuse. Someone tried to condition me to think about myself as worthless & an object after sexual assaults & my strong identity (not an object/human being) spoken to me by my [adopted] family rose up when I couldn't hear my own voice. This is a private playlist with a visual component that may either (a) confuse (b) clarify (c) do both, but the point is, YOU will be guiding what I write with your "vote" as a I plant the seed to tackle an abusive property management company & board of directors happening LIVE, like monthly ~2 years who abuse their "vote." My writing & voice samples are well documented in physician requested accommodations & they are the ones that absolutely take advantage of my status as a s/v/p & living with "disability" even though I know I'm still recovering from assaults in 2013 & 2015.

I trust my voice & am confident ptsd has a purpose--on replay until ever trigger is truly addressed & since created by abuse of power in Chicago, I am meant to go through it one last time & replicate it for others. I was a special educator ("prep giver") in CPS for 12 years & finally offended by the way the community rallied to violate my students' rights & will forever fight the injustices against the most at-risk & vulnerable populations which in a school, are the kids with special needs/disability & in society, homeless & survivors. While the umbrella of trauma is large, the work I've done in the last 6 years with increasing my knowledge in these areas is authentic & while NOT a specialist in the field of mental health, I am a behavioralist & the data doesn't lie. The need to have a higher standard for honesty & a stronger consequence for liars is necessary to level the playing field against those most corrupt in our schools, government positions, managers or anyone who has the power to make decisions for others. 

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