Have you ever been out and about when suddenly, you realized you forgot something important at home?  Something so few people can function without these days?  I'm of course talking about your trusty crack pipe.  Worry no more, for the federal government's got your back.  No, that's not a joke.  You can self-medicate on the government's dime.  Just don't try to actually medicate.  Real medicine isn't covered.  Only crack.

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