Originally Aired January 23, 2026: Penis cage. Just roll a ball out. Everything you wanna know about shadow people.   

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Originally Aired January 22, 2026: You bit my nipple! Is that a fresh cow tooth? Everything you wanna know about wearing a banana suit.  

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Originally Aired January 21, 2026: Cereal behind the wheel. The uncatchable serial killer elephant. Everything you wanna know about being a Ram-ly man.  

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Originally Aired January 20, 2026: Entertainer C. Willi Myles. Fish house mishaps. Everything you wanna know about calling 911 over 150 times.   

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The Best of the Half-Assed Morning Show. 

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It's alright, it's okay, you can work for us some day. Gaming grandma goes undefeated. Everything you wanna know about National Do Nothing Day. Originally aired Friday, January 16, 2026. 

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Originally Aired January 15, 2026: Veterinarian Doctor Andrea answers pet questions. Shaq-ing. Everything you wanna know about making a stranger a pizza.   

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Originally Aired January 14, 2026: I'll put three in you. Are you dead? Everything you wanna know about a booger wall.   

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Originally Aired January 13, 2026: If you don't use it, you lose it. Pecker wrecker. Everything you wanna know about handsome Squidward.  

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Originally Aired January 12, 2026: Dr. P answers medical questions. Lalala I can't hear you. Everything you wanna know about an elephant serial killer. 

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