Hola, Sneakers! Welcome to Episode 500 of our fabulous podcast! Who saw this coming? Not us!

This week: bad beginnings; off-mike; sacred numbers; Malcolm and Me; delicious irony; soft talker; it’s like a heat wave; who’s to blame; better stay alert; uncooperative frog; bad mascot; fuck you, cicadas; problem songs; Chick Talk™; too soon; air-conditioned entertainment; bathroom difficulties; mythical chicken; mythical mealworms; disappointing travel; wind swept cheese sandwiches; $5.00 coins are unlikely; a guy at the window; international vegetables; fruit vandal; murder room; when you’re a warrior, you’re a warrior all the way; hobbyist strippers; centenaries memories; the fast and the furry-ous; difficult compliments; Venn diagram of weirdos; get back to let it be; Ian’s wish comes true; exciting stamps; Dork Shadows – Not Fade Away; lorewolf; save the last byte for me; perspiring and inspiring; dangerously hilarious; we will deliver boredom; wrong Avengers; the smells of the ’80s; podcast pitch; and, finally, have a nice year.

Question of the week: Is there an obscure TV show – preferably limited run – that you’d like us to discuss in some detail?

Department of Hearing:Here is “Love Mechanic” – the song Louise wrote for a bunch of weirdos.

And the lyrics:If your heart is broken, girl, don’t panic!This fix-it man is handy and romantic.I repair the broken-hearted.I get your love life jump-started.Hire me, I am the love mechanic!

Love mechanic! (He’s got the right tools!)Love mechanic! (Forget those other fools!)Tow your troubles to me, girl,Before your engine cools!

Department of SeeingHere is Nina’s Mad-style fold-in and the painful truth!

Mick Elliott sent us this new endorsement! It sounds *gulp* great! (Mick, you’ll have to pass along that complete list of 500 flavours!)

And Ed Draganski sent along this drawing full of wonderful show references and a cute dragon!

Thank you all for your wonderful drawings!

And, what the heck, let’s finish off with Chris Roberts’ song “When Dragons Fly”, which was written for our 300th episode. It’s lovely!