Sneeze! with James Whittingham

Sneeze! with James Whittingham

By James WhittinghamComedyImprov
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Sneeze! with James Whittingham episodes

  • 33. I'm Going to Eliminate Vladimir Putin for his Invasion of Ukraine

    How James plans to 'get rid of' 'The Russian Perogie' due to his war on Ukraine.

    All links James: https://linktr.ee/whittingham

    Twitter: @jewhittingham and @sneezeshow

    Other podcast: @cleanenergypod

    Contact us [email protected]

    Transcript of this episode:


    Obese man on obese world Obesity Day 2022 Drinking a Diet Pepsi because he can't drink water.

    He needs, needs everything to be sweet.

    Here it goes from a bottle.

    Not a good patch.

    That was carbon dioxide releasing from my belly.

    I'm not high.

    I'm not anything.

    Hello.

    This is my plan to kill Vladimir Putin.

    Vladimir Putin, the autocratic dictator of the Federated, russia of Russia.

    To which I say to you, fuck you, Vladi.

    Fuck you, you treasonous, war criminal, small, bunker minded, tiny man.

    I'm coming to kill you.

    Yes, you.

    This is how I'm going to do it.

    You need to be killed.

    You need to be spanked.

    Honestly.

    Of course you need to be spanked.

    But I think you would enjoy that.

    Being the man who hangs out in oligarch circles on yachts with young impressionable women with low selfesteem.

    Probably spanking you for thousands of dollars and jewelry gifts.

    That's their problem.

    One day they will end up dead.

    No one will care.

    They should care.

    But they're not going to, are they? Because you're going to make people not care.

    The truth is out there.

    Accepted Russia, where truth does not exist.

    Truth is such a precious commodity that people, when they actually hear the truth, don't believe it.

    Like those who listen to Fox News as those who think that the vaccine is doing something permanent to you when science says otherwise.

    Putin probably made you think that not taking the vaccine going on Facebook is the real microchip implantation.

    Russia is no doubt involved in this shit of making people stupid.

    And that's why I'm going to fucking kill Vladimir Putin middle name.

    Get this, vladimirovich the man so nice, they named him basically twice.

    Vladimir.

    Vladimirovich.

    That's like Jameson Whittingham.

    Here's how I'm going to do it.

    The poison agent that killed or almost killed his opposition leader or opposition figure in the country is Novocalk.

    Okay? Now you know how dangerous this is.

    Contaminated planes by the dozens.

    And it's a nerve agent.

    There's a trace that can kill you.

    So I'm getting the same room as Vladi out of the pretense that I am a yacht broker, because you know there's going to be a lot of yachts on the open market.

    I try to pick one up myself.

    These are yachts that are going to be seized by these fuckers who support Putin and took all of Russia's money.

    One owns a steel plant just down the road from me.

    It's amazing.

    Fucking oligarchs and their yachts.

    Their billion dollar yachts.

    You know, the disco is in the basement of the yacht.

    I think that's a mistake.

    I think the disco should be on the top floor.

    I don't want to go down into the CD Club if I own the world that this club exists in.

    I wanted to be up high.

    Let it be under the stars.

    Let it be a rooftop party.

    Let it have a deck that opens up so you can see the stars.

    Put the disco on the roof along with the pool and the helipads.

    You can't have a million dollar yacht without a helipad and a helicopter.

    You need an escape route.

    Do you know the fanciful thing that seems unbelievable about these fucking yachts? They have anti paparazzi lasers.

    The lasers can detect camera flashes and instantly respond by blinding the camera so that you cannot take pictures of it.

    These things are real.

    I checked it out.

    It's not a myth.

    They actually have anti paparazzi lasers on them, as well as anti aircraft and anti terrorist shit.


    Russian Pepsi.

    Alright, vladi, you know, he sits across giant tables.

    He's paranoid of covet.

    I don't think he's taking the vaccine.

    He made his daughter take the vaccine.

    But he's so paranoid at covet that his tables are like a block long.

    They're city block long.

    I'm not even kidding.

    They're huge.

    They've had to construct these tables to make Vladi look like he should end sit at one of the ends of it.

    Yeah.

    So that's where my meeting would take place, as all meetings do with Putin on the end of a block long table where you have to shout to the other side.

    It's true.

    I think he's scared of being poisoned.

    But here's what I've looked at the rooms of where he has his meetings.

    There's like four or five doors on them.

    So what I'm going to do is I'm going to make my pitch for my yachts, okay? I want to sell them a yacht.

    I'm going to secure yacht and that's going to be my pitch.

    I'll have a translator there as well.

    I don't know who that's going to be, but someone sexy to distract him.

    Not that sexy because I got to get to that in a minute.

    There's going to be a different kind of sexy that's going to distract him.

    What I'm going to do is I'm going to touch all the doors and I'm going to tell him, all right, there's no shock and all the doors and I'm going to die within three minutes.

    But here's the deal.

    Here's the deal, Vladi.

    I want you to give up what you're doing in the Ukraine.

    In Ukraine.

    Not the Ukraine.

    It's not the Canada, it's not the Iceland.

    It's Ukraine.

    Just fucking Ukraine.

    James.

    Okay? I want you to give it up, Vladi.

    And here's what you're going to do.

    You're going to tell your troops right now on the phone, on the blower to pick it up and tell them to leave or I'm going to come and touch you.

    Now, he knows Taekwondo, supposedly, but he's an old man.

    He's getting old, obviously.

    He's going crazy.

    Bat shit fucking crazy.

    So he'll come at me, my defense, dropping my pants.

    You know how he hates anything gay in the Russia.

    Just comes out really against gay.

    He's homophobic.

    I'll drop my pants.

    Two things will happen.

    Either he is gay and he'll be consumed by the glisten of my penis.

    Consumed.

    Or he'll be so disgusted that he'll just stop in his track so he won't go near me.

    Okay, this is why penises are a great self defense, and they're often not used in that way.

    There's two ways that it'll go.

    Either he is gay and he'll be taken aback by the glisten of my penis, the shining orb that is my junk, or he'll be completely scared of it.

    And most people are scared of it, to be honest.

    This will help me work.

    With the tools you have, they're not going to take off my penis before I enter the room.

    They might try to take it off afterwards.

    That's what I'm going to do.

    Okay? Now, I assume somewhere in the room there's a fork.

    And with that fork, I'm going to stab him in the heart.

    I'm not going to kill him.

    I'm going to kill him, and then I'm going to eat them because he looks like a pirogi to me.

    And on behalf of the Ukrainian people, I'm going to eat Putin.

    And then when the guards come in, I'll say, it was never here.

    Once again, here, because I've eaten them.

    And I'll say, what are those bones over there? Oh, we had some chicken.

    Vladi has really big chickens.

    He doesn't show them to everybody he works with, but he does.

    He has very big chickens.

    Those are like I said, we just had a really good time meeting them.

    And that's how I'm going to kill him, basically with my penis, a dinner fork, and the threat of the very poison he used against other people.

    It's simple.

    I don't know why somebody's not doing it.

    I don't know why I have to do this shit.

    There should be spies that can do this.

    And why haven't they done it a long time ago? He's out of control.

    The man is a menace.

    Should be cluster bombing his fucking mansion, his palace in the woods.

    Why are we doing that? Maybe a small nuke on that would be nice.

    God, I hate that fuck.

    Vladimir.

    Vladimirovic Putin.

    Suck my fucking white cock, you useless piece of pirogi shit.

    Going to bring salt with me? They'll probably not let me have salt.

    I'm going to try.

    I'll PrePat it down for salt.

    Maybe if I put salt in my pocket, just loosely, a little bit of pepper.

    I don't want to eat him raw, but I will get rid of him.

    Or maybe I'll psychologically make him realize that he's gay and make him stab himself in the heart because he despises it.

    He's so afraid of it.

    My junk will make Putin realize he's gay and he'll kill himself.

    That's the bunker mentality.

    Yes.

    That's how it's going to go down.

    Wrinkly, middle aged man scrotum freshly waxed at the parlor, the Russian parlor.

    They don't care about paying much there, do they? Maybe we should get it done overseas, here in North America.

    Anyway, that's my plan.

    I'm going to kill him as soon as I can.

    I'm learning as much as I can about yachts.

    I'm trying to get one myself.

    I would rent it out as an airbnb.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not stupid, but I wouldn't rent the whole thing out to rich people.

    I just rent it out to moderately rich people so everybody could be like my own cruise ship.

    Like $5,000 a night for one of the bunks.

    And that's not including food.

    You pay for your food.

    The big buffet grossly biased by my fast food habits.

    So we're talking hamburgers, french fries, tacos on Tuesdays and Saturdays, and pizza vagina style.

    You don't know what that is, but you won't even be able to look it up.

    I'm afraid it'll be hard.

    You'd have to do some deep digging to find what Regina style pizza is.

    I think it's thick and saucy.

    So what else would I cake? Yeah, like I said, it's world obesity day today, and it's also world engineering day.

    So I got a kid in engineering university, and so he celebrated.

    I'm celebrating.

    We're both going to have cake.

    It'll be more apt that I have the cake, being obese as it is and celebrating the day.

    Yeah, and I'll wear my mask, too.

    Damn it.

    You know what? He'll probably want me to wear a mask.

    I could say the mask has the poison, but I've bitten a pill in my molar and I've got pills in my molar.

    I've got all kinds of them.

    I've got a flintstones in one, I've got poison pill in another.

    I've got various pills in my molars.

    I'm not a spy, but you want to be prepared with these things if you can.

    I'm a man who likes to be prepared, and putting pills in my mowers is certainly one of the first steps I took when I became an adult.

    And you got to get it replaced.

    Every few years.

    They do expire, so the dentist will say, james, your poison pills expired.

    We'd like to see you in the next three months.

    Otherwise it's going to be pointless or not as effective when you crunch the poison pill, because you'll just die slowly and stuff instantly.

    What you want to do if you're under dress and torture.

    So, yeah, it's not easy.

    It's not cheap either.

    You got to get a lot of work done to get those pills out.

    It's hard too.

    You got to crack the molar rate open.

    But it's doable.

    It's doable.

    And when you're under stress, a lot of adrenaline is not that hard.

    Not as hard as you think.

    I've practiced it.

    So yeah, the man, the fucker, the loser, the piece of shit has to die.

    And I'm surprised that the whole world isn't marching into Ukraine and fighting.

    I know some people are.

    I know it's crazy, but I feel like we have to fight for democracy, that it's worth it, that this is an actual fight for democracy.

    We'll do it on Ukraine soil.

    I'm sorry, Ukraine.

    I'm sorry.

    It's shitty.

    The whole world is shitty.

    I mean, you think you can't get any shittier and suddenly Vladimir Putin, the progeny of Russia, the man named twice because his parents thought that he probably wouldn't remember a middle name, so they gave him his first name again because he was too stupid.

    Fuck you, Putin.

    I'm going to stick a fork in your heart.

    Then I'm going to eat you.

    I'm going to eat you.

    Then I'm going to say you're left over chicken.

    A giant chicken.

    That's what you are.

    Leftover chicken.

    When the people come into the room.

    Fuck you.

    So I'm not a killer.

    I don't kill people.

    But you deserve to be killed in the worst way, with a dinner fork.

    My dinner fork.

    The dinner fork of an obese yacht agent.

    A man who sells possessed yachts to the uber wealthy.

    Maybe he'll be trying to get a yacht back for one of his buddies.

    But the word is he's estranged from everyone.

    He's probably estranged from his children.

    Why would you talk to this man? He's such a piece of shit.

    He's the world's biggest loser.

    Hitler had a mustache.

    Flat.

    He can't grow one.

    Hitler had hair.

    He had wonderful hair.

    Flatty.

    Can't grow hair.

    Imagine how he feels.

    A failed artist, a useless piece of shit in total control of information and everything.

    And yet he fears becoming Mumar Gaddafi.

    Sodomized as he's dragged off and killed from his bunker.

    That's what's going to happen.

    Except the fork is going to be the sodomy and the asshole is going to be your heart, because you are an asshole.

    Going to cut it there.

    I hope the next time I talk to you, things are better in the world.

    I don't think they will be.

    It's important to listen what great minds like myself have to say about this.

    And it's important to know that I will kill Vladimir Putin.

    See you next time.

    Announcer: Thanks for listening to Sneeze spread the love, tell your friends.

    18 min
  • 31. Two Weeks With Peter Bogdanovich in 1998

    A shy comic performer who had just got on to national television runs is broke and takes a job as a personal assistant to one of Hollywood's most infamous directors, Peter Bogdanovich.

    You're truly spent two intimate weeks with Bodanovich and took he, his then wife, Louise Stratten, her mother and a relative to Niagara Falls in the middle of cutting a Disney movie of the week.

    I was somewhat terrified of the man. But he might have been more broke than I was at the time. This is my story.

     

     

    35 min
  • 29. The Beatles Get Back Fulfills My First Wish in Heaven

    Before today, if I showed up in Heaven, the first thing I'd ask is to be a fly on the wall during a Beatles record production. Thanks to Peter Jackson, that wish has been fulfilled on Earth and is airing on Disney Plus.

    The Beatles were the soundtrack to my earliest memories. How they achieved such greatness mystified me my whole life. But I am now complete.

    20 min
  • 28. Rittenhouse Verdict, Racists, Failing My Colon Screening

    James screams about racism, racist relatives, the Rittenhouse verdict, and failing his colon screening test assuming once again death is near. It's not.

    IF YOU ARE A RACIST stop listening to me now. Unsubscribe from everything I do. 

    Obama's election made us pat ourselves on the back and too many of assumed we were post racism. Then, like powering off the machine that contained the ghosts on the first Ghostbusters, Trump unleashed the racism within so many people. 

    Thanks for listening. 

    Black Lives Matter. Every Child Matters.

    All links James: https://linktr.ee/whittingham

    Twitter: @jewhittingham and @sneezeshow

    Other podcast: @cleanenergypod

    Contact us [email protected]

    Transcript of this episode:


    Thanks for listening to Sneeze.

    I'm in a dark mood today.

    Hello, this is James.

    Dark after dark, before dark, during dark, I'm not happy.

    Not only did I fail my colonoscopy screening test, which was no fun, although looking into it, I'm probably going to live.

    That's probably fine.

    And if it's not, I'll probably live.

    We'll see.

    I mean, I could die from any number of things.

    This I know.

    It could happen anytime.

    My weight is not good.

    It is inexplicably non stop risen.

    Even with trying during the pandemic, something's wrong.

    My tapeworm died.

    I don't know what happened.

    So yeah, I could drop dead of a heart attack.

    We had a shed lot of snow on my street.

    It drifted in.

    And when the snow drifts, it becomes hard and heavy and dense like cement.

    Don't ask me why, okay, because I'm a geek.

    I think what happens to is the crystals get eroded, so there's no space between them anymore.

    And what you have is just frozen snow, which is ice, and ice is heavy.

    So yeah, I was stuck at home.

    We shoveled my wife's car because she needs it for work.

    I stayed at home with my car because it was 20ft of about three tons of snow.

    And I tried using my little electric my battery.

    Electric snow shovel doesn't do a thing.

    I mean, it does things, but it's like chipping away at an iceberg with a pick you can't get anywhere.

    And I don't have a snow blower because I would probably have one.

    I bought one and took it back once because I didn't like it.

    It was clearance and there was something wrong with it.

    It was fucking broken.

    There you go.

    But I need one once every three, four years.

    Once one time every three, four years.

    The rest of the time the snow shovel will do me fine because it doesn't snow that much here usually.

    So I don't have a snow blower.

    My neighbors do and they like to stop at the property line.

    The fuckers? The fuckers can't go past the property line.

    There's a guy down the street with an ATV.

    When he got to my driveway, he stopped.

    Why? I don't know.

    I don't know.

    He's a redneck.

    Pretty sure he's a redneck.

    Pretty sure I heard him.

    Pretty sure I heard him yelling obscenities at a woman once.

    A strange woman.

    Not a strange woman, a stranger to him, which is never good when somebody's driving down the street.

    It's just stupid.

    The whole world is stupid.

    And the written house verdict just came down.

    I wanted to talk about racism anyway.

    So I said, James, go feed yourself.

    Get some carbohydrates, turn on the telly while you eat because you need a distraction, because you're eating poorly.

    Once you see a white man crying on a stand, you know it's going to go well for him.

    What's his fucking deck on the Supreme Court.

    Fucking cunt.

    You fucking piece of shit cunt.

    I'm sorry.

    I don't mean to be a rant cast, but I am dying, people, and I have a right to be angry.

    It's one of the stages of learning that you failed your colonoscopy test.

    Your colonoscopy screening test, your colon screening test, your shit test.

    I talked about it last week.

    I doubt my shit really well.

    I didn't want to miss anything.

    Well, I didn't, because they found it.

    They found what? They were looking for samples of blood on the edge of my stool, which could be there for any number of reasons.

    I read one statistic that said 4% of people actually have cancer who failed a test.

    Okay, I don't even like those odds.

    You know that.

    But it's not a death sentence, which is why they screen you in the first place.

    They send these kits out of the mail and they screen them so that you don't die of colon cancer.

    And the good news is, if I pass my colonoscopy, which I'm not sure I will, I think there's a better chance of 4% that I am dying or have a fatal disease or a dangerous disease.

    But I think that if I pass, they tell me that I don't have to do a shit test for five years because apparently colon cancer moves slowly.

    That has to be the only reason why they would do that for five years.

    So I've read other statistics that scared the daylights out of me.

    I prefer to go with the 4% one because those are pretty good odds.

    Pretty good odds.

    But I'm a fat bastard.

    I've had two colonoscopies.

    I've had a little constipation.

    Oh, we better send you for colonoscopy.

    I get in three days.

    Once three days later, I had given myself Enemas.

    This is the old days.

    They're better now.

    You actually have to give it yourself.

    Two Enemas, clean out your fucking shithole.

    And yeah, we had a scope of Me 5ft long Deemeral, and they don't use Demerol anymore.

    I hope the new drug is good.

    They say they put you to sleep.

    I just don't want to not wake up because I'm a fat man.

    Fat men don't sleep well in hospital settings.

    Hopefully this is not my last podcast.

    Let's see here.

    The colonoscopy is on the 9th, so it'll either be a terrible Christmas or Christmas of renewal.

    A second chance, at least on life.

    But I don't know what I'm going to do with I pissed away my life already.

    But you know what? I think I'm pretty happy with my life now.

    There's one thing that I'm not happy with, and that is finances.

    I have not earned money per se in any significant way that would benefit my family a little bit here and there, but not in a way that I should have provided for my family that I regret.

    However, as far as accomplishments go and the person that I am in the situation I'm in, everything except money is really good.

    In fact the young James looking back saying 1820 year old James would be thrilled with the things that I've accomplished.

    I wouldn't even been able to believe that.

    I don't know, I haven't cured cancer, I haven't solved pie.

    But I had low expectations I think at that age.

    And I'm really happy with some of the things I've accomplished.

    Some of the things I never would have expected to have accomplished or been at.

    So I am content in what I have accomplished in my little bits of career and in my life.

    I'm a father and that's worked out really well.

    So beyond money, I'm happy.

    Know that know also that I really like chocolate and I really like food too much.

    And my body is falling apart.

    And I can't exercise very well because things are physically not working physically.

    There are things that are just not working for me to exercise.

    I am exercising as best I can.

    But I would be doing a lot more if I could.

    And I can't.

    My foot for example, problems with my foot, mechanical problem, tendon problem and it's just not fucking these things take a long time to heal.

    I don't have time.

    I don't have much time anymore.

    And time goes by faster.

    I'm basically dead.

    Okay? I'm 55 years old.

    The time in the last 50 years went by pretty damn fast.

    In the next 50 years if I lived that long and I won't.

    But let's say I did.

    It'd probably be like a day, right? It's going to be a very quick time.

    And I won't even seen everything that there is to see on Netflix.

    That's just the top tier shows I wouldn't have even gotten to.

    So I don't know.

    I'm pissed off about a lot of things.

    I'm pissed off that I don't have enough money to buy a snow bloor and that I'm thinking of either buying a defibrillator or snow blower.

    I need one of the two for days like today.

    Because I can shovel.

    But I think my heart will probably be one of the people who dies shoveling.

    Because it's easy.

    It's easy to get the heart rate going suddenly and you're out in the cold, you're mad, you're mad at the snow.

    Maybe you're not mad, but you're not happy.

    snow blower or the fibrillator or both or I should be rich enough to pay for a fucking person to shovel and have maids and what else is there? I won't get into them starting to get self conscious about what I say because my kids can listen to my show.

    I can't do that.

    I can't worry about that.

    I can hide for the fact that they even have the show.

    So we'll do that.

    We'll do that instead.

    I thought electric cars and perhaps flying cars would be ubiquitous by now.

    I also thought sex robots would be ubiquitous.

    Where are we on these things? We're late.

    I thought cancer would be cured, didn't you? Those people are my age and grew up in the 70s, came of age in the 80s.

    Didn't you think that? Why are we so far behind when Obama became President of the United States? I naively, and I hate myself for thinking this.

    At the same time, I don't blame myself, but I was very naive to think that racism was not over, but it was a big pat on the back.

    Hey, look, it's moving forward.

    The world is moving forward like we thought it would, like we expected it to, and it hasn't.

    And it's amazing how much it has.

    And if anything, having Obama's president is what opened up the reality of what people actually think.

    The reaction to him becoming president, a black man in charge, God forbid, and the reaction of Trump and everything that came around that and the Unleashing is like Ghostbusters.

    Ghostbusters own theaters today, the new Ghostbusters.

    It's like opening up where they turned out off the power, where they restored the Ghost.

    That's what Trump did.

    He turned off to the power of the racist ghosts within us, and they all came out, and now they're raging and they're taking over the world, and we have lost control to the racists.

    If you're on Facebook and you share a racist meme of any sort, anything that has to do with race, anything that has to do with Black Lives Matter, for fuck's sake, put a sheet over your head while you do it.

    Be yourself.

    Don't pretend you're not racist.

    I can't stand racism.

    I never could stand racism.

    And now it's unbelievably worse than ever because people wear it on their fucking sleeves like it's okay, like they hide behind conspiracy theories to enforce and back up their racism, that they really want to feel they really want to get up in the morning to feel that they are not equal, that they are superior.

    But that doesn't come up with their conversation, does it? It's there, though.

    If you are racist, you think you are superior because you're white.

    Now, there's other kinds of racism, yes, but primarily it's white people think either superior to people who are not white, that their skin color affects how they are, and that their place in the world was Godgiven, even though Christ himself was not white, that whites were given the earth.

    Well, fuck you.

    Fuck your mother, too.

    Fuck her grave if she's dead.

    I'm so fucking pissed off with racists fuck.

    My relative was here visiting overnight, going on about Black Lives Matter, how he would not this is an intelligent man who has traveled the world, who has money, has decided it's too risky to go to the United States because Black Lives Matter have free reign, according to what? I don't know where the fuck he got that from.

    But I'm assuming it was on racebook or his buddies were on Facebook spreading this shit, amplifying this shit.

    Come on.

    And that the good people protesting at the Capitol were arrested and others were not.

    Therefore, United States is not someplace it's affecting his fucking life.

    Now, I don't know.

    This guy was always a fucking racist.

    Everybody from fucking Alberta is racist.

    I can't cross that goddamn border without encountering racism.

    Literally, I count five minutes of talking to someone before I hear a racist fucking joke or the phrase, I'm not racist.

    But these people have relatives who are black, and yet they fucking crap around, and they should be in a goddamn sheet.

    Fuck them.

    Fuck the world for being racist.

    Fuck human nature for being racist.

    Have we not moved past that? Have we not fucking moved past racism? Has education not been enough for us to move past the fact that people think they are superior to another race? It's horseshit.

    Had I not say that because I'm dying? Because I don't really believe that I'm dying.

    I believe that I'm dying slowly.

    Fuck, I'm so sick of racist.

    And of course, none of them, not a single fucking racist, thinks they're racist.

    Not one of them.

    They're the last people.

    They think they're the least racist people in the world.

    Wake the fuck up.

    You're racist, which means you're a shitbag, which means you don't deserve to fucking breathe in free society.

    Go back to your fucking holes.

    This boil has been lanced.

    Till next time.

    16 min
  • 27. The Secret of Getting the Most Candy on Halloween

    James takes his 13 year old fishnet-wearing daughter trick or treating only to find sympathy for her being alone got her more candy. But when he rummages through her candy he finds the choices are boring and few.

    If someone with a time machine stopped Halloween from getting invented, James' pants would fall to the floor. 

    Asshole Mark Zuckerberg wants to us face to face via headsets, looking at fake other people. 

    Hundreds of QAnon believers gathered in Dallas to witness the supposed return of John F. Kennedy and John F. Kennedy Jr., who are very much dead. This is a bad sign for the future.

    Elon Musk could put 6 billion dollars into solving world hunger if the U.N. can come up with a plan. James would be happy if Elon Musk solved James Peckishness for about a hundred bucks.

    We spin the wheel and talk pansexuals, panphobias and paperboys. 

    Thanks for listening. See James on Tik Tok.

    24 min
  • 26. Whittingham Psychiatric Hospital on Halloween

    Every other white person has a family castle in the U.K. Not the Whittinghams. Odd phobias like fear of small holes! A sex toy to hide your valuables. Not those valuables!

    James speculates that the abandoned Whittingham Psychiatric Hospital in Great Britain is haunted and perhaps your host is a serial killer. 

    Movie idea for Trinidadian-Canadian director, Lowell Dean.

    Caution: Listening to this podcast will kill you.

    Find me on Tik Tok and Twitter @sneezeshow

    Contact me [email protected]

    Tell your friends!

    21 min
  • 25. The Queen Not on My Money, Stewardess Porn, NYC Rats

    There's a rat urine disease in New York City that's killing people. As if we didn't have enough problems.

    The Queen is near death and James can't take the idea of even more change, like the Queen not being on money. She's always been on money. Now we have everything wrong with the world and our money will look different. Tooooo much change! 

    James is now on TikTok come see him! https://www.tiktok.com/@jameswhittinghamsneeze

    [email protected]

    Twitter @sneezeshow

    James on Twitter @jewhittingham

    Check out my other podcast, The Clean Energy Show.

    Thank you!

    20 min
  • 24. Eating off the Seniors' Menu: Middle Age Sucks. It hurts when I bend.

    James discovers there's such a thing as a 55 plus seniors living complex, right after turning 55. He ponders why people his age would need their own middle-aged home. 

    Denny's seniors' menu, BTS obsession, returning to the gym, combining a cat and a dog to make a super pet.

    All links James: https://linktr.ee/whittingham

    Twitter: @jewhittingham and @sneezeshow

    Other podcast: @cleanenergypod

    Contact us [email protected]




    21 min

About Sneeze! with James Whittingham

From the publisher's feed

Get ready to laugh your face off with Sneeze with James Whittingham, the latest comedy podcast from veteran Canadian comic, TV actor, writer, and film star James Whittingham. Known for his dark, absurdist humor, James brings a whole new level of hilarity as he co-hosts this wild ride with his AI-assisted sketch characters, original songs, and yes, even his talking penis, Pepe. Despite his “maturing” physique and sagging breasts, James’s inner comic child is fully in charge, delivering gut-busting episodes that you won't want to miss. Tune in for a sneeze-worthy experience that’s as unpredictable as it is hilarious! -A.I.

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