Jacob deGrom did exactly what he’s paid $185 million to do—dominate a team that couldn’t hit water if it fell out of a boat. The Texas ace carved up the A’s lineup like a sushi chef with a vengeance, allowing just a handful of base runners and striking out batters like it was a spring training tune-up. Meanwhile, the A’s pitchers looked like they were allergic to the strike zone, issuing walk after walk after walk until the Rangers didn’t even need to swing to score. If you’re a fan of four-hour games featuring 14 total hits and more free passes than a high school field trip, this snoozer was your Super Bowl. 

From the jump, the A’s looked flat, lifeless, and frankly disinterested. The only drama came from wondering whether the A's would issue more walks than they had hits (spoiler: they did). Watching this game felt like sitting in traffic while listening to someone describe a game you should be watching instead. A’s fans deserve better than whatever this was. Game 2 was baseball’s version of white bread left out in the sun—dry, stale, and completely forgettable. Here's hoping Game 3 brings more action and a little less Ambien.