I love each and every guest we’ve had on this show, but I’m just gonna say it: for me at least, this episode is probably the most important and relevant one we’ve done yet. 

Today we have Eve Rodsky, the Harvard-trained author of Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live).

I personally credit Eve’s ideas – and the playing cards that help you implement them – with making the “invisible work” of running my own household visible, and equitably dividing that work with my husband.

As you’ll hear today, Eve embarked on this journey to find answers to her own problem. After becoming a mom of two, she watched as she became the default doer of the things, all while feeling sidelined in her career and “abandoned” by her husband (whom she still loved).

In other words, her “Sh*t I Do” list grew longer and longer without any real discussion of who should actually do what.

Fair Play is the antidote to that problem, and this episode breaks down the method in detail. You’ll come away equipped to start a conversation with your partner; identify and fairly divide responsibilities; create space for yourself; and ultimately live a happier, healthier life.

Eve and I also get into:

* Why household labor tends to be so unequal

* Men over-reporting and women under-reporting their contributions

* How to raise this topic with your partner

* What Fair Play looks like in action in my own marriage

* “He’s the income earner. So shouldn’t I handle everything in the home?”

* Understanding the different types of labor (daily grind vs. on your own time)

* Hard-to-define responsibilities like spirituality and “magic” (tooth fairy, etc.)

* Why it’s so important to own a task completely

* Eve’s key to staying happy even as you shoulder more responsibility in life

Links: 

* Fair Play book

* Fair Play cards

* Fair Play documentary

* Eve’s second book, Find Your Unicorn Space

* Eve’s podcast with Dr. Aditi Nerurkar

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I am a longtime Gaby Dalkin lover, and you will soon be, too! She is charming, hard-working, smart, and just a good, kind human.

Trigger warning: like the title says, Gaby has experienced 9 miscarriages. She copes with this with humor and levity, so if that's not something you wish to hear right now, skip this one.

We also get into:

* How Gaby structures her typical day

* Dividing responsibilities with her husband

* Her IVF journey and miscarriages

* Why grilling is seen as a man’s game and why it’s actually so enjoyable

* Why she loves the Netflix show Formula 1: Drive to Survive and how she landed a bougie AF trip to Italy to watch a race!

* The tacos she makes when she doesn’t feel like cooking

Links: 

* What’s Gaby Cooking

* Formula 1: Drive to Survive

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OMFG — Jessa freaking Hastings is on So Into That this week!!!!!

Jessa is the brilliant author of the Magnolia Parks book series, and whether or not you’ve read them, I know you’ll love getting to know her and hearing about her path to mega-book-fame.

I can’t stop thinking about the unwavering faith that Jessa had in herself that these books would someday be a success, despite so many people telling her no along the way. If you’ve ever wanted to put something out into the world but hit speed bumps along the way, I know her story will be as inspirational to you as it is to me.

Whether you’ve read Magnolia Parks or not, you’ll love getting to know Jessa and hearing her talk about “downloading” ideas out of thin air, blacking out while writing, what she reads and watches for inspiration, and navigating the wild world of “Bookstagram” and “BookTok” where everyone’s a critic.

Also – if you haven’t read the books; heed my spoiler alert about 15 minutes from the end!

We also get into:

* Where Jessa gets her ideas

* Trusting her instincts, self-publishing, and going viral

* The DMs she gets from her very invested fans

* Drawing on her personal experience with grief to write Magnolia’s book 5 experience

* Trying to get spoilers out of Jessa — “Will there be another wedding? Will someone die?!”

* The meaning of the last sentence of Book 5

* What Jessa’s so into (and out on) right now

Links: 

* Jessa’s Instagram

* Buy the Magnolia Parks books here

* Pre-order my book here

Listen to this episode on your favorite podcast app:

Today’s show kicks off with a BIG announcement… something that’s been in the works for years.

I know you’re going to love it!

I’ll fill you in on all the details, plus – why I'm relating so hardcore to the show One Day (spoiler: you get to hear all about me and George's FINAL breakup before we got engaged).

And an update on what I’m calling “The Year of Me”. Why I’m taking time to reignite old passions and discover new ones this year… and what to keep in mind if you decide to pursue a Year of You.

Links: 

* Pre-order my book here!

* One Day on Netflix

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My husband and I have been following the amazing Dr. Aditi Nerurkar for months now, and putting her tips to work in our sometimes-stressful lives.

Now that she’s put all her wisdom together in a book and started her own Substack, it seemed like the time to ask her to share science-backed strategies for managing and mastering stress – beyond unhelpful and annoying clichés (“just relax?!”).

So in this episode, we talk about the personal stress crisis that inspired Aditi to become a world expert on the subject; how she manages her own stress as a working mom with a young kid; and how to apply the “5 Resets" in your day-to-day life.

We also get into:

* Finding small moments of calm throughout the day

* The 3-second routine she recommends when making a transition (before picking up kids, etc.)

* Night time screen time and “Revenge Bedtime Procrastination”

* What keeping your phone nearby at work or in bed does to your stress

* Habit formation and why falling off the wagon can actually be good

Links

* Gaiam Posture Corrector

* Aditi’s Instagram

* Her new Substack, It’s Not You, It’s Your Stress

* Her podcast, Time Out: A Fair Play Podcast

* Aditi’s book, The Five Resets: Rewire Your Brain and Body for Less Stress and More Resilience

Every time I mention I went to boarding school, people are like "WOAH WOAH WOAH, please explain!" 

So here's a primer on boarding school, why we loved it, what was hard, and why we think our friendship is still so strong despite not having lived in the same place for more than 15 years.   

We also get into:

* A basic, 101-level intro to boarding school 

* Different “houses” on campus and their reputations 

* A typical day

* Sneaking out, making out, and navigating the “strike” (disciplinary) system

* What I was like in high school

* Pros and cons and how the experience shaped us

Links: 

* Lily's Instagram

* lilywick.com (amazing interior design)

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Cameron Rogers is a longtime friend and OG food/mom content creator who played a crucial role in helping me open up about my life online.

True to her Freckled Foodie roots, she still develops recipes but these days you’re more likely to find her talking about motherhood, overall physical and mental health, and how they’re intertwined.

So in this episode, we catch up about how to divide the labor of running a household and raising kids; our thoughts on the transition from one child to two; identifying what makes you anxious and creating systems to avoid it, and much more.

Also: right before we recorded this, Cameron interviewed me for her podcast. Check out that conversation on her feed here.

We also get into:

* How being hit by a car led Cameron to make some major life changes

* How she rarely spends time on her phone but still manages to stay on top of texts and emails

* Blocking time to handle small tasks in batches so you can stay more present throughout the day

* Our occasional feelings of “jealousy” (feels more accurate than “mom guilt”) when handing over childcare

* Her wild birth story of having contractions for weeks and being turned away by the hospital because of a bed shortage!

Links: 

* Fair Play deck for couples

* Cameron’s website

* Her Instagram

* Her podcast, Freckled Foodie and Friends

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The response to Sohla’s episode, where we both shared a few things that our husbands have done to make us feel supported postpartum, and shared several elements of postpartum recovery that we wish we’d had a heads up on, was insane. Countless older moms, brand new moms, soon-to-be-moms, all the moms, wrote me to thank me for sharing the real deal about postpartum.

But the #1 thing I heard was “I wish my husband had done that” or “I wish my husband had known to help with that" kinds of comments in regards to Sohla and I sharing how supportive our husbands are as newborn dads. My husband George absolutely crushes the labor and postpartum/newborn phase. I can’t even count the number of times that my friends or IG followers have seen him in action and said something along the lines of “how did George know to do that?” or “you’re so lucky he did that!”.

And it got me thinking: all of our husbands want to make us feel loved, taken care of, and supported. It’s not their faults that they have never done this before! Neither have we, after all! We want them to know exactly what we need without us having to tell them, but they are not, in fact, mind readers capable of meeting our every hormone-riddled need before we even know we need it ourselves.

So, I polled my Instagram audience to get their feedback on how they felt supported by their partner during labor and postpartum, and 20k+ women responded. This is a HOT TOPIC. I combined that intel with my own personal experience from giving birth to my three sons, and here we go: A Complete Handbook for Being The Best Newborn Dad/Partner Ever. It’s a podcast with an accompanying PDF for quick reference. Because our partners deserve to be set up for success! So this handbook is here to help them out.

I get into:

* Explaining some of the gnarlier elements of childbirth and postpartum so guys know what we go through

* Things to avoid saying (I’m so sorry that the hospital couch is uncomfortable, but I promise your wife is more uncomfortable than you are)

* Teamwork for nighttime wake-ups

* Taking that breastfeeding “death thirst” seriously

* Actual scripts for handling your partner’s hormonal changes, mood swings and yes, rage

* Following her lead on sex after childbirth

* And so, so much more.

Links: 

* Download the "Handbook for Being the Best Newborn Dad/Partner Ever" here: https://whattocook.substack.com/p/the-guide-to-being-the-best-newborn

* SwaddleMe Velcro swaddles

* The Baby Stuff You Actually Need

Like this episode? Learn more at whattocook.substack.com

If you’re on Instagram, I can almost guarantee you’ve seen Caitlin Murray. She has a way of expressing exactly how many moms feel in the day-to-day grind while making you laugh out loud in the process.

After I barely get through today’s intro (happy birthday, Mattis!), Caitlin and I talk about why we’re both out on extreme diets and restrictions and prefer a “damp” approach to alcohol these days… with the occasional full send.

Plus, we talk about decisions about whether to have more kids, and how she knew her family was complete after the birth of her third.

We also get into:

* The vitamin/snack Caitlin’s all about right now

* The quest for the perfect hairband

* Our alternative to Dry January

* Kids behaving totally different inside versus outside the house

* Screen time for young kids

* Our IRL LOLs

Links:

* Gem Daily Essentials citrus ginger bites

* Slip hairbands

* High Noon

* Caitlin’s Instagram: bigtimeadulting

* Caitlin’s magazine, Soul Snacks (coming soon to Substack!)

* Caitlin’s podcast

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I first discovered Sohla El-Waylly in the early days of the pandemic, when Bon Appétit Test Kitchen videos were all the rage. She was by far my favorite contributor to that series, and now that she’s promoting her own cookbook and recently became a mom, this was the perfect time to catch up with her.

So today, we talk a bit about “Start Here,” the A to Z guide that took Sohla 3 years to write. She also shares her go-to meal when she doesn’t feel like cooking – a surprisingly common feeling for a recipe developer. 

But we actually spend more time talking about the ups and downs of new mom life: balancing work and parenthood, sharing childcare with a partner, and the unpleasant realities of post-birth recovery that both of us felt woefully unprepared for. (Why don’t they tell you about this stuff?)

We also get into:

* What it’s been like to bring a baby and a 500-page book into the world almost simultaneously

* How she prepared for postpartum mental health challenges 

* Lies we were told about breastfeeding and postpartum weight loss

* The toy her 5-month-old is obsessed with, that Cash was also obsessed with

* Family members buying impractical baby clothes (buttons… in the back?)

* Discovering free stuff to do with kids in New York

* Her forthcoming podcast

* Her egg, steamed rice, and greens recipe 

Links: 

* Get the chicken soup + masa dumplings reeipe from Sohla's new book here: https://whattocook.substack.com/p/sohla-el-waylly-helps-you-conquer

* Fisher-Price Kick & Play mat

* John Legend performing the Kick & Play “purple monkey” song (IYKYK)

* GAP vintage soft classic jogger pant

* Magnetic Me onesies

* Sohla’s History Channel TV show, Ancient Recipes

* Sohla’s New York Times bylines

* Her newsletter, Hot Dish

* Sohla’s book: Start Here: Instructions for Becoming a Better Cook

* Her book tour dates

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